Happy New Year!

Tonight I'm planning on sitting on the couch watching a movie, reading a magazine, washing my hair, heading to bed early, enjoy some beauty sleep, waking up headache free, and yawning in 2011.

I am like the Ebenezer of NYE.

It's seven years since I met Matt tonight, with a bad fake French accent, making him cocktails - four fingers of vodka: one finger of juice. Then he refused to drink it.

Are you rocking out tonight peeps?

image - I can't remember, I'm sorry. If it's yours, tell me.

Making Beautiful Babies

I love breaking news ten hours after the news has been broken. It's my thing.

Natalie Portman and Benjamin Millepied. Pregnant and engaged. Holy smokes, SMOKING HOT! That baby is going to be one heck of a looker. Aye aye aye.

Happy Christmas

Peeps, have a wonderful Christmas. Enjoy the day with friends, family, enjoy the day full stop.

Thanks for stopping by my little space and keeping me company.

Have a wonderful day. x

A Big Question

Despite the fact that I am battling a hangover induced by imbibing too many cheap sparkling wines, and then drinking my friend's discarded bevvie, I am OK! I am OK people. I wish someone had stopped me (let alone myself stopping me).

But I do have a very serious question for you.

The other day I began my day with the vacuum cleaner at 8am. I also finished the same day with the vacuum cleaner at 10pm. I've spoken at length about how much joy vacuuming gives me! It's awesome! Instant results. Matt commented that I have an unusual relationship with the vacuum. I do. We're BFFs. We're tight. We're rolling with the dust bunnies.

But while I was vacuuming I thought - why is it that I don't mind tidying and cleaning someone else's home, but when it comes to my own home, it's a real drag?

I will happily do tidying at my sister's or a friends house. But my own? MEH!

Why friends do I suffer from this traumatic malaise?

image (have you seen this book?? it's a great gift for er, someone. It's funny. Trust me. I'm an expert.)

The Perfect Gift

If you are strapped for cash, I've got the perfect gift for you to give this Christmas. Heck, it's perfect for someone not-strapped for cash too. Almost anyone can play a role in this very important Christmas gift of a different kind.

Give blood.

It's simple as that.

The Australian Red Cross are looking for people to give blood - and give the gift of life this Christmas. It really is the Perfect Gift.

And it doesn't just have to be a one off gift of blood. You can donate blood regularly and help the Australian Red Cross build up our blood bank.

It's easy. Just click over, enter your suburb or post code - et voila. You can check out when and where the next blood bank will take place near you.

Way Down In Kokomo

I'm not down in Kokomo. Heck I don't even know where Kokomo is. But I wish I was there. I'm not. Instead I'm drowning in bills, junk mail and endless Christmas lists that aren't mine. And a credit card that's hit DECLINE. Plus I'm back into my winter woollies! Yowser.

My Christmas list is very simple. Very streamlined. I'd like a new lip gloss for Christmas thanks Santa!

One of my faithful readers asked me to help her out of a gift glut. She'd hit the skids and needed inspiration for her boss. A double whammy because his birthday falls right near Christmas, so really she needed two ideas - and he's a non-drinker.

I feel I've let her down. Sorry dear reader, I really am. I had good intentions.

It's like the gingerbread house I bought and have still not constructed, sorry to the Doctor and Tiny. I am scoring myself a #fail this Christmas.

But fear not, I do have some ideas for a style-savvy, non-drinking, double whammy male. Check 'em out home girl!

Head into your closest David Jones and snaffle some Geoffrey Beene handkerchiefs Actually check before you go, just in case.

Who doesn't love to play frisbee? There's no more superior throwing power than the supremely good Aerobie. Love. Love. Love.No matter if your man-child has a pair of Havaianas already - nothing beats a fresh pair in a fresh new colour. Hello SUMMER! Men deserve to look and feel good too! Get them some lip schmackos from Mecca Cosmetica. Y to the UM!

Other ideas?

- A nice new beach towel

- A magazine subscription

- A music voucher

- A nice new set of playing cards. I know just the ones.

HUZZAH!

So There's Nothing About Poo Popping Up

My sister told me how distasteful that picture of poo was. And I have to agree. So here's a cheesy to the max song to distract you. I'll be back tonight. I'll end the radio-silence and the poo-abyss. I've been busy. I'm guessing you are too?

When Shit Turns To Poo. Or Is It When Poo Turns To Shit?

Either way, it's been a really crummy day.

What do you do when the chips are down?

Me? I drink a bottle of wine with my husband. You, dear reader, what the heck do you do???

image via Seat Savers (pop one on your seat and no one will sit there! GENIUS!)

Sundays... Sunny, Potentially Crafty

What do you do Sunday mornings?

Today I made the smalls French toast (but no thanks, not for me, not into eggs), and set up to get crafty.

I like Sunday mornings. They're generally relaxed, they're all spent together, and it's a free day. Today I am hoping to knock over some birthday and Christmas shopping. And also practise a Dolly Varden cake. Yes. Wish me luck. And lots of it.

I'm late to announce winners! Egads, so here they are.

The five Baker's Delight winners are:
- Amity Ville Boronia
- LionessLady
- Toni Brockliss
- joyjoyc
- Chrissy

And the lucky ducky who will receive a $100 gift voucher from Westfield is: shine little light*

Thanks to everyone for entering. Those who won, please email me your postal address and I'll send out your goodies ASAP!

Peace out.

Speaking The Truth

Sometimes I'd really love to speak my mind.

Yesterday I sat on the train next to a guy who talked on his mobile at the top of his voice. From this conversation I extracted the following conversation:

• He was on his way to work
• His boss' name is Andrew
• His boss is overweight
• His boss is married
• His boss was attending his wife's grandfather's funeral that day, and would not be at work
• His boss had a four year old daughter
• His boss was definitely married (yep, kept reiterating that point)
• And heck, he didn't know what he was up to on Saturday and Sunday

I heard all of this despite my best efforts to not hear all of this. I cranked up Bon Iver but still the noisy commuter's voice permeated my music. While Bon Iver is not exactly Pantera, it was up loud. Truly.

Reminded me of Clive. There's always a Clive on the train. Yes?

Christmas Babies

I have a pre-Christmas baby in the form of Tiny. She was due to arrive on the 28th December, but the sneaky little thing arrived on the 16th instead! Two Tuesdays has a pre-Christmas baby in the form of Little Tuesday.

These Sagittarius girls are spirited and passionate!

Jackie O just gave birth to a wee baby girl.

I wonder what she'll call her. Probably not Kylie.

image via SMH

Santa.

Have you had a heinous Santa experience? A few weeks back my Mum and I lined up with the smalls at David Jones to see Santa. By the end of it, I really couldn't wait to get out of there. Couple rude Santa with a two hour wait = cranky PMM.

Rude Santa asked repeatedly what Tiny's name was. I told him. About three different times. And then he wouldn't believe me.

If you're reading this dear Santa, you won't be getting any mince tarts and beer this year for being so darn rude to me. Hear that?

Maybe next time we'll just go with the Portable North Pole.

image via

Thanks For The Back Up

Thank you ladies for all your kind comments. It meant a lot to me.

Our 'life change' is something that I will continually re-assess. As one commenter mentioned, if it doesn't work out, then you have to change something. If the Doctor struggles at school, or Tiny needs some mama-lovin', then I am prepared to do whatever it takes to be there for them. Our family is the point of this!

I took on this role so that Matt could step out of full-time work, focus on his degree, work part-time and become a teacher. It's something that a lot of people struggle to understand, but for our little family, one of us is always at home with the kids. When I'm home, Matt's at work, and vice-versa. It's the thread that ties us all together. Because of this new arrangement we're leading a simple life, which is another thing people struggle to understand. But for us, family is the reason for being.

Rather than focussing on acquiring things, we're enjoying one another - our lovely little family. What more does one need than a home, food and love? Not a lot, peeps!

It's simple things. And it's not always simple. I'm dogtired at the end of the week, and then Matt goes to work, and I can be a little cranky.

And through all of these changes the smalls have been incredible. Amazing creatures they are. I admire them in so many ways. Resilient little beings.

While I don't think we truly can have it all, and it really is about busting that myth that's perpetuated so that we are burdened by the pressure, the notion that - well she's having it all, but how do I have it all?

You don't need to have it all. You can have a small serve, decide what you like, and then choose to come back for more.

And yes ladies the crux of it is that we can still be awesome mamas.

Too mushy?

image via

Hello, Mark!

Amazing news gals - PottyMouthMama apparently has a male reader - hello Mark!

Mark kindly shared this link with me. He knows how to sweeten a gal up!

And while I was watching this, unbeknownst to Mark, he teleported me back to when I was 12 years old - when I proudly wore a faux Bart Simpson's tee. Go easy, we lived in the country, it wasn't easy to come by the realio dealio.

I'll have to ask my family for confirmation, but I think I must have been what folks might call a Tom Boy. I'll keep you posted on that front.

Anyway, big ups to Mark - the male reader, for sending me this link. Muchos Grazias MARK!

A Very Big Boat

On the weekend we got out into the sunshine. I highly recommend it. I felt alive. Whereas before, clearly I felt like I was not.

We wandered around Hunter's Hill. Such a pretty part of Sydney - and it feels so distant from the hustle and general hub-bub of the city itself.

We walked down to the water, and checked out our new boat. Ahem. Cough cough cough. Such simple pleasures on a budget. It's nice, yes? Not too pretentious. Just a good size for us four sailors.

Ok. The truth is that is not our boat. But a mama can dream. And then snip that dream loose to foster other dreams.

A Different Life

I'm half anticipating and half dreading 2011.

Excited because it's the new year. It's a clean calendar.

Dreading it because it means big changes in our little household.

The Doctor starts school in 2011, and I have really mixed emotions about that.

Tiny starts preschool in 2011. (This is Tiny at her preschool orientation.)

Mid year hopefully Matt will be a fully-fledged teacher.

And I am working 4 days a week for a while.

It's a cracking pace and if I am 100 per cent honest, I really miss my babies while I am at work. I love my job, but I miss my family. I've thought about it a lot, I've drafted a whole post about it (which is lying dormant in my draft folder), and I'm putting it out on the table.

I don't think women can have it all.

Boo me down all you like, disagree all you like, but juggling everything ain't all it's cracked up to be (or sometimes not cracked up). Being an at home parent is hard and being an at work parent is hard.

Giveaway: Get Shopping!

Do you write down a wish list for Christmas? The Doctor has compiled one list. Then lost that list. So now we're editing and finalising his second version of the list. It's miles long. Totally Lego-ified and boy oh boy is that small boy excited!!

But I am here to make wishes come true, and like I'm some kind of giveaway giving Christmas Fairy, Westfield have bestowed on me a $100 gift voucher to give to one lucky reader.

Spend it how you will. You could:

• Buy something special for yourself
• Put it towards Christmas gifts
• OR you could put it on a Wishing Tree and make someone's Christmas a little more special.

No matter what - however you spend it is up to you! Dream big peeps!

As an aside you can also head to the Westfield site and make your own Westfield Wish List that you can share with friends and family via Facebook. One lucky little Christmas elf will win a $10,000 gift card. Me likey.

So PottyMouthMama wants you to enter by leaving a comment here. On this little post. The winner will be drawn at random. BUT to enter, you must sit on my lap and tell me something you'd like for Christmas. Ho-ho-hooo!

Winner will be drawn on Saturday evening.

Please note competition only open to Australian residents. One entry per person.

image via SMH

Giveaway: There Are Only 18 Sleeps To Go!

To Northern Hemispherers this may sound odd. Because it hasn't been hot, bone scorchingly hot, I don't feel like it's Christmas.

I'm doing my best peeps. The shops are packed with bodies throwing caution and $$$ to the wind. Our house is festive. I've been making lists and checking them twice, heck who do I think I am, Santa? I'm out to a Christmas party tonight and I will be wearing sparkles.

We have no Advent calendar. Egads.

However, I do have something exciting for you gals to get you in the spirit. Come closer, nope closer still, I promise I don't have halitosis.

We all know how I love Fruit Mince tarts. I've just taken delivery of some Baker's Delight Fruit Mince Tarts and Lemon Tarts, and I will not disclose how many I have already consumed. (But scroll down and you'll realise I didn't learn a thing from the Supersize me post).

To get you in the spirit, Bakers Delight have given me 5 vouchers (so you can get in the mood and get your own Fruit Mince or Lemon Tarts) to give away to Australian PMM readers. All you have to do is share your favourite Christmas song that gets you in the mood... For Christmas.

Mine? I love the Cocktail Christmas CDs. I always sneak them on. And then my FIL takes them off and puts on some old-timer Christmas carols that make me feel like I am at the morgue.

I'll draw the five winners on Friday night.

Yowser!

I work in the middle of nowhere, and if I don't take my lunch I have to rely on the mercy of co-workers to take me somewhere, or the vending machine. This is ugly peeps. Real ugly. I don't even like junk food really. I never seek out chips. I do like chocolate. But the vending machine?? YOWSER! My belly it runneth over. Ok it doesn't really, but it has potential. After reading these stats, I'm re-evaluating the snack-a-roos!

Speaking of being a little generous in form, did you know Jamie Oliver's Food Revolution is heading to Australia?

Banksy. So On The Money.

image via Banksy. Boy oh boy. Do I love Banksy? Hell to the yeah!

Christmas Ideas... On A Shoestring

Christmas! Ah sweet Christmas. I love this time of year. I love to love Christmas. Which is why I dressed our home for Christmas before December, because it always feels like BOOM! It's over like that. The more I can stretch out of it, the better as far as I am concerned. Which also applies to stretching the clams. Christmas can be costly, but friends, it shouldn't have to be. It shouldn't be! In my opinion the simplest gifts are usually the best. Everything here is under $15 - beat that Santa!

If you've not met Craig Smith's The Wonky Donkey - the time is nigh. This fabulous book comes with a CD. I dare you not to sing along. Over and over - it's lots of fun, perfect for a long car trip that seems to go hand-in-hand with Christmas time. Fishpond $14.97

In my book you can't go wrong with a book. Tyrannosaurus Drip from Readings is a WINNER! $14.99

I'm not saying you should encourage someone to do more housework, but this Dutch style hand brush is a beautiful object, let alone, I'm sure, a real workhouse on the floors. Heaven In Earth $15

Big or small, ain't no one who doesn't love a snowdome. Hmm, Tiny might like this, her photo can be in the snow year 'round! Notemaker $14.95

Definitely one of my favourite gifts to give - gifts to suit any budget - to help someone who's really in need. Give a chicken or help start a new business - Oxfam $$$whatever you want it to be

These postcards would be beautiful framed or on an inspiration board. Flossy-P $8

Is there anything more promising than a brand new blank notebook? YES! These gorgeous notebooks from Meet Me At Mikes $7 Give a friend an ear-full...of beautiful jewellery. Scrumptious Productions Flower earrings from Georgie Love $14 Chock this full of home baked delights, or some delectable Turkish delight. Big loving this Jumbo cup from Lark Handmade $8.95

Want more?

- Cute Earthtribe Bird Whistle from State of Green $9

- Pretty votives from Country Road

- BYO Cup from Hookturn - 8 oz for $10 (check out the limited edition RED!)

Need some ideas for someone? Hit me up!

But Baby It's Cold Outside

For once, this song is strangely appropriate to Sydney.

Today I went to work in jeans, a wool knit, knee length boots and a scarf, and didn't take a stitch off. The girls were laughing at me, in the middle of 'Summer' (and I use that term veeeheeery loosely), rugged up for Winter.

Weather - let's get it together!

Which is one reason we dressed the house early for Christmas.

And while I'm on the topic of it being ridiculously cold and wet in Sydney, when it should be blaringly, glaringly hot, Tiny has been having tantrums because she wants to see the snow. Not just one isolated tantrum either, it's been a series of tantrums on seperate days. The first day she put her gumboots on and we all got into the car and drove to the supermarket. Then she asked where we were going when we got back into the car. "Home." "No we're not! We're going to the snow!"

Way to let a toddler down. I had to educate her on the fact that snow was unlikely - however, who knows with this weather, but heck, I'll keep her posted.

Following days Tiny has requested to go to the snow. And has stood outside with gumboots on waiting to see the snow. Alas it's just rain and jacaranda flowers. Prince sang 'Purple Rain', perhaps he could record 'Purple Snow'? Anything's possible with this weather. Right?

image is from the ever awesome Kiddley - I think Tiny, the Doctor and I might make our own little Christmassy snowglobes!

The Old Patdown

I know I've mentioned before how I got the old pat down at an airport once. Apparently I look super suspicious. Super duper suspicious. Just a few weeks ago I flew from Sydney to Brisbane and vice-versa in one day. On the return leg, I went through the scanner easy enough. But then some young stallion security guy ushered me over so he could swab my handbag. The only thing contraband in my handbag these days is a whole lot of rubbish and random receipts.

Once he was done with frisking my handbag he ushered me away with his hand, and said, "See you later hon." Unfortunately I didn't see him later. From that comment I thought we must have been going on some secret date, but alas, he says that to all the ladies.

The Ball

If you didn't catch The Ball (a film by Jessica Leski) on ABC on Monday night, I implore you to check it out online.

It is one of those films that is inspiring, funny, had me crying, joyful and just beautiful.

You can read more about it on The Design Files. And watch it here. Thanks to my sister for drawing my attention to it!

To run the gauntlet of an old cliche, if you only watch one thing this year watch The Ball. It's incredible.

Baby I'm Bored

Once upon a time I had this discussion on MumSpace (which, BTW, I no longer run). I mentioned how I just don't understand cars with 'Baby On Board' signs.

I see those signs and wonder - "Is someone about to have an accident, and then swerve to miss those cars because they realise there's a baby on board?"

Then someone responded and said that if there is an accident, then the rescue team can see the sign and look for the baby. But this just doesn't make sense to me. Wouldn't the rescue team naturally just search the car - and a car seat would be more of an indication that a flimsy little yellow sign?

So I've come up with some other signs - only to discover that someone has already stolen this idea straight out of my brain. I'm calling the copyright cops for a citizen's arrest.

But anyway, here are my ideas. All two of them:

* Baby I'm bored (because sitting in traffic is never fun)

* You are passing another foxy lady (instead of you are passing another Fox - get it, get it???)