you'll never guess where i got this from...
So I'm typing this super small - as though I'm whispering - in the hope that no one notices. I missed my seventh day of walking. Bad, aren't I? I did walk to the shops. But that's just incidental, and I don't think it counts.
Punish me. Although, I think I already did. Day 8 saw me go double time, or rather, it saw me include more hills, and you know what I did... Well no, you didn't unless you're stalking me (and if you are, you must be pretty darn bored because I haven't left the house except to go to the post office in two days - zzzz). I jogged. I got the jiggly bits jiggling. Can you believe how outrageous I am? I am crazy, keeeerazy.
I'm lucky where I live because there are lots of beautiful houses. Lush trees. Loot to go through. Oh sorry, did I bring up my unbelievable luck again? Sorry.
Anyway, back to my walk/jog - jiggle my jiggly bits thing. I listened to my music (last night - Nick Cave and then Art of Fighting) got lost in the lyrics, and found myself mimicking a passer-by by getting my socks off and actually running. Pretending that I, me - Potty Mouth Mama - was a jogger. I may have tricked some cars whizzing by, but deep inside, I know I'm not a real jogger. I struggle with it. But I'll try. I'll get them jiggling. I'll think of Beyonce while I'm doing it.
When I got home I caught glimpse of my derriere in the mirror. I have a fear of getting one of those flat butts that women seem to acquire after having kids. But fear not, I've not got a flat butt. I've got ample - in fact, it's more like a bubble butt. I can dig it. Anyway, I digress - yet again..
Walk/jog was good. 35 minutes. Tonight. I'm down for Day 9. I'll have my sneakers on, ready to roll with my homies (well, actually, just me).
Anyway, enough exercise chit-chat. So a few people have asked just why did I go diving headfirst into that pile of garbage.. Ok, ok no one has asked me why, but you know what, even though no one asked, I'll tell you anyway. If you're not interested, just stop reading. Or perhaps you wanted to ask but were too shy? Most probably you just didn't give two hoots. Well, regardless, I'm the kind of gal that will give you tips of the thrifting/dump diving kind. No sewing tips here. No. Just how to climb into a garbage dump and come back clutching something exciting*.
Because I saw the potential for there being something good in there. No matter how small. Look for possibilities and ye shall find. Or seek and ye shall find. Yes, that's it. Live in hope. Give a man a fish, and he'll eat for a day, teach him how to dump dive and he'll dive for ever.
*Fact: Exciting is different for everyone. For some, an old jigsaw could set some people's hearts pounding (better than a run? Dump diving could be - shock - horror - exercise?** For some, not so much.
** No. Dump diving is not exercise.