Thursday, 28 August 2008

Day 7-8:: Jiggle the Jiggly Bits

you'll never guess where i got this from...

So I'm typing this super small - as though I'm whispering - in the hope that no one notices. I missed my seventh day of walking. Bad, aren't I? I did walk to the shops. But that's just incidental, and I don't think it counts.

Punish me. Although, I think I already did. Day 8 saw me go double time, or rather, it saw me include more hills, and you know what I did... Well no, you didn't unless you're stalking me (and if you are, you must be pretty darn bored because I haven't left the house except to go to the post office in two days - zzzz). I jogged. I got the jiggly bits jiggling. Can you believe how outrageous I am? I am crazy, keeeerazy.

I'm lucky where I live because there are lots of beautiful houses. Lush trees. Loot to go through. Oh sorry, did I bring up my unbelievable luck again? Sorry.
Anyway, back to my walk/jog - jiggle my jiggly bits thing. I listened to my music (last night - Nick Cave and then Art of Fighting) got lost in the lyrics, and found myself mimicking a passer-by by getting my socks off and actually running. Pretending that I, me - Potty Mouth Mama - was a jogger. I may have tricked some cars whizzing by, but deep inside, I know I'm not a real jogger. I struggle with it. But I'll try. I'll get them jiggling. I'll think of Beyonce while I'm doing it.
When I got home I caught glimpse of my derriere in the mirror. I have a fear of getting one of those flat butts that women seem to acquire after having kids. But fear not, I've not got a flat butt. I've got ample - in fact, it's more like a bubble butt. I can dig it. Anyway, I digress - yet again..
Walk/jog was good. 35 minutes. Tonight. I'm down for Day 9. I'll have my sneakers on, ready to roll with my homies (well, actually, just me).

Anyway, enough exercise chit-chat. So a few people have asked just why did I go diving headfirst into that pile of garbage.. Ok, ok no one has asked me why, but you know what, even though no one asked, I'll tell you anyway. If you're not interested, just stop reading. Or perhaps you wanted to ask but were too shy? Most probably you just didn't give two hoots. Well, regardless, I'm the kind of gal that will give you tips of the thrifting/dump diving kind. No sewing tips here. No. Just how to climb into a garbage dump and come back clutching something exciting*.
Because I saw the potential for there being something good in there. No matter how small. Look for possibilities and ye shall find. Or seek and ye shall find. Yes, that's it. Live in hope. Give a man a fish, and he'll eat for a day, teach him how to dump dive and he'll dive for ever.

*Fact: Exciting is different for everyone. For some, an old jigsaw could set some people's hearts pounding (better than a run? Dump diving could be - shock - horror - exercise?** For some, not so much.

** No. Dump diving is not exercise.


Cindy said...

Point 1 - Yes the shops count.
Point 2 - If point 1 is not valid actually breaking into a run definately voids one missed day.
Point 3 - No I was not wondering why you were diving backstroke into someones junk, just why I can't find any good junk to dive into.
Point 4 - You are running with your homies,it is just that we are not all running together
Point 5 - Why did those people own 2 so gorgeous xylophones!

Liesl said...

Two xylophones in one haul? Now you are just showing off!

(Of course anyone who is willing to jog deserves as many xylophones - and other symphonic instruments - as they wish)

CurlyPops said...

Maybe we could add dump diving as a new olympic would be much more interesting than handball and synchronised swimming!

Claire (ethel loves fred) said...

Whoaahhh Nelly!!! Amazing stuff, and free - just incredible, so good they'll be loved again too!

Chuckling at Curlypops suggestion!

Bec said...

Well I'm just sitting here pleased as punch that I now know another person who is pleased with their 'bubble butt' (yep, baby's got 'back' :P). I've never had boobs, or a tummy, or long lithe legs....but I've always had a bubble butt, and I'm very happy about that. No Hollywood-style buttock implants for me :P. And I'm also glad that having two kids has not deprived me of it....ok, wishing now that I knew enough html to make this comment in small whispering font...

Taccolina said...

Excuse me, did you know that you are causing PAIN with those posted photos of xylophone gorgeousness? I'm like the kid at the other end of the sand pit writhing and knashing her teeth in green-eyed envy...
But you made up for it with tales of jogging, cause I do understand just how hard that must have been. Well done!