Wednesday, 27 May 2009

I Don't Get Out Much

I used to spend a lot of spare time at the movies. In particular I loved going to the cinema by myself. No one to interrupt. No one to rustle chip packets. No one sobbing uncontrollably asking for some tissues.

If I owned my own cinema I would have a number of rules to ensure it was a good experience for all movie-goers:

1. No noisy packets of anything
2. No crunchy food (particularly not consumed by those who like to eat with their mouths open)
3. No slurpy beverages
4. No canoodling
5. No mid-movie conversations
6. No tall people sitting in front of short people
7. No people sitting too close to one another
8. Extra arm rests so there's no awkward tussle over who gets to rest their elbows
9. No one with hacking coughs, incessant sneezing or sniffles (these people would be confined to the 'Cone of Silence' - see rule 11b)
10. No one dressed in anything that smells like moth balls
11a. No one to move seats once the movie has started (this includes movie trailers)
11b. Anyone who wishes to 'talk storylines' mid-movie must be confined to the cone of silence which is a sound-proof room with minimal seating

These days, I'm bringing the cinema-at-home back. I'm not talking flat screens. Heck no.

I'm telling you, I am well versed in DVDs. I love a good DVD.

My latest and greatest picks are:

The Wackness

Man on Wire

And Burn After Reading. A Coen Brothers film, Brad Pitt looks ridiculously silly with a slimey, sweaty mo. George Clooney is just plain silly. And funny. Have I ever told you how much I love Frances McDormand?

Here ends my movie session for the day. Goodbye.


Partito y Monito said...

I'm with you on the movie rules - i think I'll print them for when I ever get to see a movie other than a G rated one...

Taccolina said...

'Cor I can think of a few people at work I'd like to put in a cone of silence! (Annoying tut-ers, phone gossipers, worriters' and more!)

Georgie Love said...

Absolutely. We've rediscovered the drive-in - babes asleep in the back, take your own snacks, heater, blankets and kisses. Nothing can go wrong!

willywagtail said...

Moth balls at the movies! Are you kidding? I would be dead by the end of the movie. I agree with all th e above rules and add that seats hould be wide enough to tuck one's legs under too.

Stacey said...

I love, love going to the cinema by myself. It's my ultimate indulgence, especially when combined with a trip to the pick & mix beforehand.
I watched Burn After Reading last week and loved it.

Home Girl said...

thanks for the tips - will get my downloading pirate onto them as we rarely get to the cinema these days. apparantly spike jonze has made a movie of 'where the wild things are' i'm excited.

btw saw these little crafty numbers and thought of you check em out

Juddie said...

I particularly loved Man on Wire - how beautiful and inspiring!

lindsey clare said...

oh boy. i SO agree with your rules. my husband thinks i'm like... bossy or something! whatever.