Thursday, 18 February 2010

The Over Talker. The Opposite Talker. The Disinterested Talker

There are people in my life who fit in to each of the following categories (and thankfully most don't fit in to any):
  • The Over Talker: Talks over the top of me. Interrupts to talk more about themselves. And no matter what I say, will just continue to butt in so that they can talk. Usually about their favourite topic. Themself.

  • The Opposite Talker: Someone who - regardless of your point-of-view will take the opposite stance, for no other reason than they want to butt heads with you. Take for example:

Me - 'I can't stand this heat, I don't cope with 43 degree days.'

TOP - 'Oh these days are so lovely, the sun is brilliant.'

Between you and me, I know very, very few people who thrive in such heat.

  • And finally, but by no means conclusive of 'types of talkers' - I give you, this, possibly the most difficult to converse with - the Disinterested Talker: Doesn't care what you're up to, doesn't give a toss that you're not feeling well/you grew an extra head/or an Ewok just crawled out of the toilet, they will not engage with any of your conversation, and will always find something else to talk about - even if it's as banal as the weather. Even if it's as scintillating as talking laundry.

And what happens if these three merge in to one person? It's a difficult conversation. Trust me, I speak from experience.

How do you cope with these kind of conversations?

image via


Cindy said...

I think that the only solution is to embrace the uninterested and be the same to them. The "sure dude, whatever" conversation. Poeple get funny when you treat them like they treat you. Above all realise that people like that aren't worth fabulous people like yourself's time, so don't give it to them especially when they aren't in the room - so many bettre things to think about, like those gorgeous babes.

Susan L (lily40au) said...

I'm assuming you're talking about work colleagues because i wouldn't relatives, or god forbid, friends who were disinterested. it doesn't matter how you look at it ... some people are just hard work.

the textured leaf said...

Maybe it helps to put them in helpful categories?
The first sort are insecure,
The second are unhappy,
Not sure about the third...

Bianca said...

If you've ever read the Celestine prophecy (or un-doubtfully many other psychology –type books touching on personality types with a similar perspective) (and if you haven’t read the Celestine prophecy I definately recommend it because it is super awesome) Once you can recognize these traits for what they are - just being able to recognize them lets you take a step back and 'rise above' their pettiness –for some, it is an aggression thing, others it is a mechanism by which they protect themselves. Of course the way you then deal with each is different.

Super interesting stuff.

Myself, I am the disinterested type. I’ll own it. Its not that I am genuinely disinterested, I just find it hard to make small talk and so try and remain aloof or stick to safe topics so the other person gives up and allows me to weasel myself out of what I generally find to be an awkward situation.

PS. The anonymity of blog world allows me to ‘get over’ myself.. “cheesy grin”

SO. Said person is either one of the above, in which case deserving of some understanding, or option B a deushe. I have come to the realization that many people unfortunately fit into the latter category.

I used two brackets next to each other. Is that allowed? Or should one be a { } or a [ ]
Aaaah Conundrum.

CurlyPops said...

I know a few overtalkers and I don't have the energy or the inclination to stop them when they do it me. Very frustrating!

kris said...

You are so right! OMG.

But I think you missed two...

1. The Blinker. I work with this woman who always asks how you are and then stands there blinking at you waiting for you to carry the entire rest of the conversation... after she has said I am well Thank you... there is nothing... just... blinks...

How do you end that? I usually just say Ok gotta go! And skip away... usually scratching my head...

2. The Pre-Recorded. We have all had those chats where people have the whole spiel all ready to go and you ask them how they are... and WHAM... they're off...!

What to do with that?!

teddybearswednesday said...

I know all three types, and super merged type too.
How do I deal? Not very well. Great advice I know- avoid them- hard when some of them are in the family.
hey you probably know this, but super exciting Eduard Sharpe and TMZ are coming to AUSTRALIA, to both Sydney and Melbs! should be one good gig.x

kim at allconsuming said...

I have a relative who will always bring the conversation back to them. They stay on topic but always have an experience or story on said topic that is worse/more dramatic than yours.

This is the same person who on the arrival of our first born (premature, in the NICU, very sick) came into the labour room, demanded a chair and then proceeded to eat my sandwiches because she'd 'rotated her pelvis'.

I just stopped telling this person anything or if I did and they then went on to tell their more sordid/dramatic tale I'd just say nothing. Just.stopped.talking.

Curiously they don't do it nearly as much any more.

Those Opposite Talkers I just put down immediately. I reply with things like, 'well, you're just weird/strange/dodgy/a loser'. It doesn't change them at all but it makes me feel better.

The Disinterested Talker is the best because you can just embellish your stories to your own delusions of grandeur and they never call you to account. Brilliant.

Lois said...

Hey Lexi.
You need to learn to how to make your eyes go glassy and to drool.
Works wonders with people that you really don't want to be talking to anyway. It's amazing how fast they can move away when that happens....LOL!

Amanda said...

Just get incredibly quiet.