It might well be fun and games on night one of climbing out of your cot repeatedly and peeking around the corner. Yes it's funny. Yes it's cripplingly cute. And endearing. And I do want to squash you because I love you so much.
But let's get real.
By night seven it's NOT so funny. If you were a comedian I'd ask you to stop laughing at your own jokes. Of course I love you, I adore you, but hey tiny lady, sleep deprivation is a tool of torture that you're a little too familiar with.
My eyes are struggling to stay open. I'm cranky. I'm no good. I'm behaving like I've been eating cans and cans of Snappy Tom. I'm daydreaming of sleeping. I lay on our bed today with dead eyes. I couldn't even move when I heard you cry, thankfully your Dad intervened.
In fact, with this type of sleep deprivation I feel as if I have a newborn (and have thoughtfully included a photo above, though you were more like 5 months there). Those first few days/weeks of excruciatingly hard sleep deprivation. One day I hope you know that tiredness.
A newborn in the shape of a small toddler. Who climbs out of bed all the time. And currently has an ear infection which is directly proportional to how many cuddles you seem to require day and night.
I am not a good person to be around when I am severely sleep deprived. This weekend, unfortunately, I think you've discovered this.
Last night when your Dad and I were watching a movie, and you decided to come out, and watch it with us, despite the fact that it was 9:30pm and your regular bedtime is 6:30pm, remember that? I'm sure you do. I certainly do, I'm well familiar with it. You peeked around the corner at us - oh - about fifty seven times at least, and then came and sat on me. Then on your Dad. Then on me. Then on your Dad. It continued that way for a long time. That was cute. But after the third hour of returning you to your bedroom, it became painful. Frustrating.
And tonight, having returned you to your bed for the tenth time (yes, yes I am counting) I am pooped. I am tired. I am plum tuckered and fresh out of cuddles. I need some time to lie on the couch without anyone touching me. I am officially touched out.
Please, please find something else that is funny. That we all, mutually, think is funny. Sleep deprivation can definitely make me get a lot uglier.
Your Mama. x