Sunday, 21 March 2010

All Cuddled Out:: The Tiny Torturer


Dear Tiny,

It might well be fun and games on night one of climbing out of your cot repeatedly and peeking around the corner. Yes it's funny. Yes it's cripplingly cute. And endearing. And I do want to squash you because I love you so much.

But let's get real.

By night seven it's NOT so funny. If you were a comedian I'd ask you to stop laughing at your own jokes. Of course I love you, I adore you, but hey tiny lady, sleep deprivation is a tool of torture that you're a little too familiar with.

My eyes are struggling to stay open. I'm cranky. I'm no good. I'm behaving like I've been eating cans and cans of Snappy Tom. I'm daydreaming of sleeping. I lay on our bed today with dead eyes. I couldn't even move when I heard you cry, thankfully your Dad intervened.

In fact, with this type of sleep deprivation I feel as if I have a newborn (and have thoughtfully included a photo above, though you were more like 5 months there). Those first few days/weeks of excruciatingly hard sleep deprivation. One day I hope you know that tiredness.

A newborn in the shape of a small toddler. Who climbs out of bed all the time. And currently has an ear infection which is directly proportional to how many cuddles you seem to require day and night.

I am not a good person to be around when I am severely sleep deprived. This weekend, unfortunately, I think you've discovered this.

Last night when your Dad and I were watching a movie, and you decided to come out, and watch it with us, despite the fact that it was 9:30pm and your regular bedtime is 6:30pm, remember that? I'm sure you do. I certainly do, I'm well familiar with it. You peeked around the corner at us - oh - about fifty seven times at least, and then came and sat on me. Then on your Dad. Then on me. Then on your Dad. It continued that way for a long time. That was cute. But after the third hour of returning you to your bedroom, it became painful. Frustrating.

And tonight, having returned you to your bed for the tenth time (yes, yes I am counting) I am pooped. I am tired. I am plum tuckered and fresh out of cuddles. I need some time to lie on the couch without anyone touching me. I am officially touched out.

Please, please find something else that is funny. That we all, mutually, think is funny. Sleep deprivation can definitely make me get a lot uglier.

In sleep,

Your Mama. x

13 comments:

Home Girl said...

we have a handy tool in our house called 'the rope' it ties he door shut when little people keep escaping. draconian yes, satisfying yes. am feeling you on the sleep dep front. don't know if i'm alseep or awake half the time - its soul sapping. not really too sure what to do about it cause 'the rope' is only for people in big beds who understand that i love them even though the door is SHUT (i do still pop my head in when they cry out but there is none of that exhausting returnng them to their bed bizzo). goodluck i'm sure you will be getting a full night's sleep soooon

Home Girl said...

ps i love the undercut idea and think it would look fab on you

Bird Bath said...

oh dear! I'm feeling your weariness...but if it's any consolation to you - things will improve. I was tearing my hair out this time last year but now that our bubs is 3.5 we can pop her to bed with a cup of warm cocoa + a floating marshmallow, switch on a cd story and she usually goes off to sleep.
Sending you lots of positive sleepy vibes X

Kylie said...

I hear your pain, we have all been there. I so understand the whole 'do not touch me eva again or at least for an hour' feeling. This may not work, it's just an idea, but if she's climbing out of her cot mabey it's time for a bed,novelty and lack of bars might help her settle? Wishing you sleep fairies.

Tania said...

No sage advice, just a commiserating AAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRGGGGGHH!

Actually, just concocted sage advice: Hot bath. Cup of warm cocoa with a floating marshmallow (or glass or ten of red). CD story. LOCKED bathroom door. (she types as 2.75 year old walks in door for fifty seventh time saying "Mum I got a notty nose again").

AAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRGGGGGHH!

tea with lucy said...

Right there with you.

I think they're about the same age. No?

After two hours of that very same going to bed game, ours was awake at 10pm, midnight, 2am. . .

Thing is, we WILL be adding a newborn to the mix in a couple of months.

I think she can smell my desperation.

Leonie said...

Oh honey I hope she gets better soon and works out a new game that doesn't involve getting out of bed in the middle of the night, or all night for that matter. When you work it out can you let me know though?? I had two of them up at 1.30am wanting to be in my bed, managed to get one back into his bed and then spent the next hour on the couch in the lounge with the second one. Thankfully they then stayed in their own beds for the rest of the night but since my golden hours of sleep are midnight to 3am I have been out of it all day today whilst they are raring to go on all cylinders, it just sucks.

Does she like music can you put a Cd on repeat all night.....

Liesl (Hoppo Bumpo) said...

Two words: door barrier! She can look out or call out ... but not get out.

I know your pain; I have my own little 3.5 year old jack-in-the-box.

dorothybills said...

I so feel your pain, my eldest didnt sleep, like a normal person anyway until she was four, hence I was very scared second and third time around, but she now can sleep in until ten if I let her and has been that way for years now!

Lots of nice thoughts to you and hang in there! x

Melinda said...

Sleep deprevation is just the worst, isn't it.

In desperation I put a lock on the outside of my sons door. If he comes out once, he gets told that if he does it again the lock will go on. If he does it a second time, the lock goes on for a minute (with the bedroom light on so that it's not too scary for him) and if he keeps doing it, the lock stays on until he is asleep. After a week of this he got the idea and now he is a big 5 year old that stays in his room at night. Yay!!

I know it sounds shocking and cruel but it worked for us and I must say, I don't even feel slightly guilty about it. I hope you find a solution that suits you and your family and that you can get some sleep :)

fede said...

Oh mama, I feel your pain! We too have bedtime dramas in our house - our 4 & 3 year olds share a bedroom and the 3 year old thinks it's party time. He too has the same warped sense of humour and finds the whole things hilarious. Some nights I wish I could hand cuff him to the bed ... if only there was a quick & easy solution :) I'm a mum who needs my time at night too.... it's our time!! Don't they know that?

A said...

I feel your pain... it really is akin to torture isn't it? We also went the door lock at our house (after trying lots of other things first) and now poppet knows that she will have her door locked if she comes out for no good reason. We occassionally have a relapse but a 2 min lock on the door usually resolves it. Good luck!

Amy Paul said...

Will be a lovely note to share with her one day when her little one is keeping her up at night.
Keep on truckin' mama.
xx Amy