I am having the school blues. Yes, yes, my school days are well and truly behind me (but I still get those sweaty HSC dreams), but there's a nightmare ahead of me. Of us.
The Doctor starts school next year.
I can barely believe it.
I always imagined myself with a baby, a toddler, a preschooler, but never a school-age child. Yikes!
I attended my first school open day of the local school. It lasted two hours. Two hours of juggling the Doctor and Tiny. Sit down. Get back up. Watch some dancers. Watch some singers. Sit down. Listen to one - two - three - no let's skip the counting, we listen to six people banging on about how great the school is. And one 6 year old playing the violin. And then another Kindy class singing about ducks. Stand up. Watch the school band. Sit down. Stand up. Go for guided tour.
I know I sound whingey. Because I am being whingey. I wanted to see the school. Not an eistedfodd. Both my children were irate by the end of it. And so was I. I wanted to go home and eat Vegemite sandwiches. Not be sandwiched into a very small room with very crusty parents.
I didn't even love the school.
So I rang the school that I have heard loads of good things about and got 'Sue'.
Sue is the 'office lady'.
I am pretty sure that Sue has also done a lot of courses in 'how to be a complete biatch'.
I began the conversation with, "We've just moved into the area, and I realise I've missed the open day, I hoped there was some chance I could come and have a look at the school."
Sue goes off the line. Comes back on the line: "Enrollments start in October."
Me: "Er, I was kind of hoping to look at the school before October."
Sue: "So you want someone to show you around."
Me: "Yes that would be awesome."
Sue: "I'll see if the Assistant Principal can call you back."
It's been three weeks and no one has called me back. However, in the interim I went and looked at a local preschool for Tiny and the ace lady who runs it happened to ask me about schools and I mentioned the conversation with 'Sue'.
She grimaced and said: "I know the Assistant Principal, she will be appalled by 'Sue', I'll call her."
Shortly after she came back to me and said: "I see what you mean about Sue." She couldn't even get past Sue.
Turns out Sue told the preschool director that the assistant principal of the school was 'too busy to waltz families around the school'. That is a direct quote from Sue the Poo.
Apparently Sue is the gatekeeper.
It's a public school.
We are out of their area. I've heard awesome things about this school. I'm working up my courage to 'waltz' myself up to the school and demand a look around.
Thoughts? Feedback? Friends, Romans, ladies of the round table - what to do about a boy named Sue? Shall I start crank calling Sue in my spare time?