Friday, 22 October 2010

My Own Private Hairdresser


Sometimes when life is frustrating - I cut my own hair.

With very poor results.

I have done this a few times, with, in fact, disastrous results.

I cut my hair off from below my shoulders to chin length, no actually cheek length, once. It was when a boyfriend-of-the-time cast me off in favour of a French girl. I don't know why I felt the urge, but I took the scissors to my hair, Jennifer Aniston style, and sliced it off. If you've ever cut your own hair you will be well familiar with that awesome noise of the scissors crunching through hair. I could almost cut my hair off now just to hear it. It's reassuring. It's life affirming. And I'm sure I really showed that boyfriend who was boss (actually he was overseas when he decided to split with me via email - so he never knew the vengeance with which I cut my hair).

Anyway. My hair was a disaster. QUELLE HORREUR!

So I booked a professional to cut my hair.

Let's call him 'Richard'. Richard came and cut my hair at my house. It was awesome. I liked having someone come to my house to cut my hair. Like I was a geriatric in stilettos.

'Richard' cut my hair, asked whether there was any method to my hair cutting (answer: heck no), styled it, blow dried it, and then we looked in the mirror together. Imagine my HORREUR when I saw that I looked like Princess Di. I'm not kidding peeps. I looked like Princess Di, or I looked like I lived in Double Bay, sans fake tan and bleach.

When one looks at oneself in the mirror post-haircut, one is expected to rave about one's new 'do.

Me?

I piped up with "It might look better when I wash it."

It was only in hindsight that I thought how offensive that statement was to a professional hair stylist. Yes. It will look better when I, the hacker, wash my own hair, and refuse to blow dry it because I do not blow dry my own hair. Someone else does it once every two months.

I'm not sure what prompted me to recall this epic tale of War and Peace proportions, but I am sure you are mighty relieved I did. So 'fess up. Have you ever cut your own hair?

12 comments:

MMBB said...

I've cut my hair on numerous occasions, sometimes boredom, frustration and once even because of a bf! lol We sure showed them.

Posie Patchwork said...

Never cut my own hair, but i can imagine the temptation you must feel of "this time, i'll get it right" it's addictive!!
My children all cut their own hair when they hit 2, in fact, my twins cut each other's hair, looking at each other for reference (like a mirror, only they are not identical) but boy, did they chomp away. One more so that the other, & the unlucky recipient of the all round chop ended up with the most chic Frenchy style bob ever, complete with uber short dead straight fringe. With her fine features, she rocked the look!!
As for the hair dressers (Just Cuts of course, no appointment necessary, mercy for we mums who have to take in 2 year olds who have cut their own hair) they laughed, said they see it EVERY DAY!! Love Posie

amity ville boronia said...

Heck yes. I have a fringe. A straight fringe. And fast growing hair. If I didn't I'd be at the hairdresser every 4 weeks. It would probably be easier to grow it out, but I suffer from five-head-itis.

AnastasiaC said...

i got a haircut today as well! im suprised how many girls actually do cut their own hair - i have curls so could easily get away with it - id save loads too!

Mon Alisa Design said...

Yeppers, very short when I was 15. I regretted it when one of my brothers mates mistook me for him. I'm not too fussed about my hair now. The last hair cut I had was a year ago when I shaved it all off.
Now I'm trying to rock a feathery bob. I've trimmed my fringe to attempt a Chrissy Amplett look but it's not working. I'm thinking a trip to the hairdresser is on the cards :)

Anna Bartlett said...

I love that sound so I try to cut my kids hair whenever they'll let me. Some of my keenest memories are of going off to school with nicks on my neck where my mother had been cutting my hair... she always wanted to be a hairdresser but her father thought she should be a secretary... so she started a tafe course a couple of years ago, but after a year of OH&S and cleaning and no cutting she gave up and now practices on the grandkids... raving now. Sorry.

willywagtail said...

More often than not the fringe because I just haven't booked an appointment yet. But never the back although occasionally I have a small go at the sides. I do know that feel of" hoping it will look better in the morning after I've styled it myself" and saying so too. Cherrie

Little Pinwheel said...

i never have cut my own hair, but I grew up being told I looked like lady Di.

x

Melbourne Vintage said...

yes yes i have - a lot. i even bought professional scissors and decided that holding strands up above my head and cutting it at an angle would be resulting in a professional haircut, sadly I was mistaken. I also cut my husband's hair for almost 5 years but since he is welsh and a ginger it's more like shearing a cute sheep than cutting hair. I once had a hairdresser say to me "oh i can't do much with this" holding my hair as if it was some crime scene specimen so i forgive myself for my hairdresser phobia!

Lindy in Brisbane said...

Oh yeah, I went through a real phase of cutting my own hair when I was about 15, and I looked like Lady Diana too. But that was when she was all the rage, and I actually wanted my hair to look like that. I used to set myself up with a mirror in front and another behind me. It took me over an hour to do it!!! Much better things to do with my time these days. Like cutting my kids hair. They usually end up still needing a trip to the hairdresser though...

Aussie-waffler said...

Not my own, no, but I can't begin to tell you how thrilled Le Artiste is when he receives a bit of mummas home stylin'. Pudding bowl hair cuts are so sick, no ?

sophie said...

I keep cutting myself a stupid fringe even though I have a huge cowlick on my forehead so a fringe never sits flat, it flicks up like farrah fawcet in the good ol days! It's hideousm so I pin it back until it grows out and then I get bored with my hair again an cut it...it's a vicious cycle!