Friday, 1 April 2011

Here's A Big Question

So friends, gather 'round, a little closer. You up the back? Don't be shy, there's a seat up the front here, come on, yes, ok, that's good. Now, let's begin.

Facebook. I'm on it. Are you?

I'm on it personally, I'm on it professionally, and I'm on it blog-ally (come join us, we can chat - in real time.. Sort of.).

But here's the big question.

What happens when someone de-friends you? And don't think I didn't notice. I've got a whole database on an Excel spreadsheet that alphabetizes my friends. I roll call every morning. I notice. Trust me. When that number drops, I notice.

And now I've figured out who defriended me. Yep. I did.

There's part of me that wants to re-friend, but once you've been de-friended, can you re-friend? My head and my heart are aligned - they've signed an allegiance - they both say no.

But there's part of me, maybe it's ego, that wants to say YES! YES I can re-friend.


And so it is, this Friday night, can you re-friend a de-friend?


image via Vanishing Point


Edit:: I definitely don't keep an Excel spreadsheet of people on Facebook. In the name of comedy, I was hamming it up. Work with me peeps!

18 comments:

Tara @ Our Whirlwind Adventures said...

I de-friended someone, purely for the fact they didn't talk to me and I am not one who only wants friends for numbers and said person will 1000 friends already noticed me missing and has been trying to endlessly re-friend me despite my ignoring it to the point of it being borderline stalker :/

Bianca said...

nope, you can't refriend and why would you want to?

i'm all about quality over quantity and will not make friends with every tom, dick and harry. if you want to de friend me, go ahead. the people who really matter stick by me and that's all that matters!

h&b said...

i'm with the other two - you're kinda freaking me out with your database - obsessive much ?

I really want to to cull a heap ATM - people that used to care about me, but now seem to .. not. Not comment, no care ( and yes, i've been caring over their side of the fence ).... but i;m worried about the fallout.

Now you're telling me you count people. That scares me. I don't know how many follow me, or twitter, or on my FB personal or prof pages ...'

kat - teamkitten said...

ooh no! you can't try and re-friend someone who gave you the flick. That just doesn't work at all!
I've had someone un-friend me and i was a bit pissed about it, and then a few months later this person came sniveling back wanting to be friends, i let that request sit in my inbox for a whole week - that'll show them - then i caved and friended back, cause i'm a sucker and like things to stay nice.

I say no to refriending if they are the ones that quit - it's their loss! xo

2 said...

Me no speak the lingo of facebook. But I have heard that you can do absolutely anything on friday night and blame it on the post work vino. So they tell me, anyway.

Two Tuesdays said...

^^Me, obviously. Darn google accounts

Siobhan C said...

I had a work colleague de-friend me, mostly b/c she was giving away too much of her weekend news for a professional work environment. I noticed she didn't defriend other work colleagues, so that felt a bit weird. Maybe there was another reason ie she didn't want to be my friend. I left it. Whatevs. Now though we don't work together and she's gone through some personal crises recently and I'd really like to let her know 'hey, how's things, hope you're OK' but I'm not going there and so it seems neither is she. I guess we just aren't meant to be friends. It's a strange world we live in, but we just got to get on with it.

Kate said...

Someone in my bookclub defriended me - which was weird and then weirdly a few months later she wanted to be friends again. I caved - I live in too small a town.

Sarah said...

Oh my Lexi - you are a s.e.r.i.o.u.s FB with the list and all!!! Way to much time!

I have de friended people - really because I do not have the head space to deal with the issues and spew they were coming out with. If we cross paths again I may refriend...

I have been de friended as well. I am not taking it personally. I hardly post in FB I tend to just see what others are up to. This person and I crossed paths a few years back. She asked to friend I said yes and we have not crossed paths since - I am not worried.

FB is not good in this way. DO you notice when a friend has not called... FB is such a visual way to know when someone is your friend or not and that is in reality not life. We all go in and out of friendships... Let this person go and do not take it personally. Maybe they have done a big cull like I did recently.

If you both reconnect then great. I have friends who I have not liked (or ignored) or they liked me but we make contact by sending each other messages. AT least there is a way for me to find people if I want to touch base or find out what a school friend is up to 20 years...

Mon Alisa Design said...

I used to be on there and I loved it, Unfortunately i made the mistake of befriending a few locals and wound up exposed to small town gossip that I just couldn't bear. I was de-friended by a few people. I There were two that I got a bit "hmphy" about. One was a guy I went to school with who was an actor on Home & Away. He had over 5000+ friends and after sending him a private message to say howdy he deleted me...out of 5000+ bloody people! The other was a girl who had a beef with me declaring on my status that I felt like a Adriano Zumbo macaron. I have no idea what that was about but i got abused and then deleted. Weird huh?
I must say though that since being off it I've only been in close contact with 2 of my 200 odd facebook friends. It was just a bit of folly for me whereas my blog, and the blogging community is where my heart is. I've found that in comparison to losing "friends" on facebook, I have felt much sadder at losing followers on my blog ...especially ones that I have met in person. I'm sure they have their reasons though :)
Have a good weekend toots x

Amy said...

I do not pay attention to my friend count. but one time I had a friends daughter de-friend me because we moved away. and when she had a baby I told her mom I can not comment on the baby pics since she de-friended me.. I dont talk to her on there but is nice to see her beautiful baby..and another instance,my daughter had some friends refriend her. she did not know that FB somehow did something.. it does act weird once in awhile..and maybe this happened with this person unless you know them well.

Knorts said...

Mmmm, I deleted my facebook profile ages ago because I was a bit "Facebook is pants and they are just using my deets to sell stuff". So I left, then I joined again under a kinda pseudonym so my extended family could see photos of my kidlets. But now I'm being friended by parents from pre-school (who are perfectly nice) but it's like when worlds collide and you'd like to keep things all a bit separate and private. Not sure that's possible anymore? My friends are those I see in real life and call. Facebook is publishing yeah? It's not really having a chat. It's broadcast baby. That's my take on it. Don't sweat it. If they don't like you, or something you said - their loss.

Shontelle said...

The question is do you really WANT to re-friend? Your friend request could be ignored - BAM! Double rejection.

[Good Mum Hunting] said...

I've been de-friended and I don't mind. Sometimes enough is enough.

I usually do a cull of friends, every 3 months, just to update my list and keep it fresh and personal. I only have about 200 people on my list and I have almost all of their email addys and phone numbers, so they are actual real friends, not just random people I went to school with.

You can re-friend if you want, but I wouldn't bother.

Classic that some people thought you were serious about keeping stats on your friends list. It's ok hun, I got the joke ;)

m.e (Cathie) said...

you make me laugh! everyone thinks about it, you just say it Lexi, awesome.

have a wonderful weekend chicky ♥

Leonie said...

One of the most liberating things I have done is to delete my FB page. I've even deleted the "followers" on my blog so that I don't get sucked into the vacuum of numbers and who's doing what. There's no point worrying about what other people choose to do. If they love you they love you....if they don't....let them go play some place else.

Lisa said...

I don't worry about the friend thing on Facebook. I usually only just like to check up on what is going on. I don't comment much, usually just with family. I am with Leonie on this one, there really is no point worrying about whether people want to be your Facebook friend or not. Real friends are what counts. Ha ha ha and I totally get the joke...spreadsheet lol.

lisa :: the red thread said...

Facebook is just another black hole wanting to suck more time that I don't have... I don't go there!
LOL about the spreadsheet misunderstanding!