Thursday, 18 August 2011

Bribery & Parenting 101

I've taken to bribing the smalls to do mundane everyday things that they're just not that into.

1. Like brushing teeth. A couple of weeks ago I introduced "The Toothbrushing Time Trials" in preparation for "The Toothbrushing Olympics". The smalls don't know that they are the only competitors - and quite frankly, they don't need to know. But heck. This idea works a charm. I get Matt's iPhone, prep the stopwatch and BOOM! Two minutes of teeth brushing bliss for both of them. No wrangling with Tiny. No whinging. No lightweight brushing.

Gold star to mama.

2. In the interests of keeping the peace, Matt has decided to keep the smalls bathing separately. But I can't be bothered waiting for two rounds of bath-times, so I've been bribing them to get into the bath with a squirt each of this Imperial Leather Foamburst. Have you seen this? It's lush! Like washing myself with rich shaving cream, well that's the consistency. And the smalls - it gets them every time! Boom! Straight into the bath.

Gold star to mama.

3. When the smalls aren't asking for food, I feed them. A snack bowl full of celery, grape tomatoes, carrot sticks, whatever's on hand. Those smalls don't see me coming. Sneaking vegetables into them. Making them less fractious before dinner time. I swoop in there like a secret vegetable avenger.

Gold star to mama.

4. The Doctor came home from school upset. He needed some coaxing, but finally told me that someone had punched him in the tummy. Again. And that because I had drawn a love heart on his yoghurt, half the class laughed at him and made fun of him - and the poor little dude, he cried. The worst thing? I've always put hearts on his lunchbox - because I LOVE him - and that morning, I had thought, hmm, maybe I shouldn't. Then I thought - shucks, he's in Kindergarten. He's six. It's ok! It's love! Wrong mama. Wrong. So I wrote a little note to his teacher to let her know. He came home triumphant. Everyone in the class HAD to come to school with hearts and love notes from their parents in their lunchboxes. How cute is that? And the puncher. He got reprimanded very swiftly. School is the HARD YARDS!

Gold stars all 'round.

And here ends my bribery & parenting and ranting 101.

Image is Tiny looking scary.


Anonymous said...

6 is definitely definitely not too big for love notes! Snaps to the teacher for turning it on the nasties head. I really feel for the Doctor. Is it the same bully harassing him? Big hugs to you both.

Mama Mash said...

Ha ha I love this.... well done on the vegetables especially!

It breaks my heart to read that bullying is happening in kinder, absolutely ridiculous. I hope that it stops soon for your little man.


Christina said...

Your bribery is far more inventive and clever than mine! My bribery just involves lollipops.

If you be a good boy and let the lady cut your hair you will get a lollipop. If we can go grocery shopping incident free you get a lollipop...

Shall be taking your wisdom on board.

Sorry to hear about the Doctors troubles. Poor darling. School does sound hard. Hope it gets easier.


Nicole said...

That is so great to hear the teacher's way of dealing with it. What a great idea. Surely all parents love their kids just as much?

spectacularfairywren said...

aaaagh, the vegie sampler plate....
i like to sneak this in pre-dinner while the octonauts are occupying his conscious mind... that way dinnertime is meat and carbs carbs carbs and no worries!

gold stars all over to you!

btw your sunday group photo was the delish... gorgy. one for the wall/christmas card... hotness.

Gillian said...

It's nice to feel like you're kicking goals as a mum sometimes!

Sarah said...

Teeth - brilliant... My two year old hates it. Bridbing with band aid... yes band aid... stickers might work. Might try that when bandaids are boo.

Foam stuff - ohhh the two year old (again) loves bubble baths. Works a treat - every time.

Vegies - good one! It works as well! Ummm wonder if Little Man will eat them full stop!

School - that teacher rocks.

Bek said...

These are great tips. Gold stars for you indeed!

I love the way the teacher handled the whole situation at school. What a great response! I hope the little puncher has learned a lesson. My son got bitten by one of his mates last year in kinder. (Yes, one of his mates!) It is hard to navigate these happenings, and so much easier if the school is supportive.

Catherine said...

Love the sneaky vegetables, and love the love notes too - I hope that with your and his teacher's support, school gets better and better for your Doctor x

DancingInTheRain said...

That teacher sounds awesome - kindergarten teachers are something special!

ClaireyHewitt said...

Gold stars tongued teacher.

What a great plan.

CC said...

Inventive - I like the way you work. I am taking notes

Jobjoggas said...

Go MaMa!!! Haha this made me laugh!!

Cant believe how sad the lunch story is though! he shouldn't be getting picked on for being loved!!! the other kids are just jealous there mums aren't as awesome as you!

Clare Bizley said...

Secret vegetable avenger! Love it.