Wednesday, 30 November 2011

This Is Me. Just Another Mother Blogger.

This is me.

Worker bee by day.
Mama and wife by night.

I was thinking about mummy bloggers and thinking how that tag does not fit me. Well I don't think so anyway. That tag makes me really uncomfortable. I get kind of itchy. I am no expert parent. And sometimes - a lot lately - I am sad how little time I have to spend with my children, that is quality time. I get home, I am tired. Sometimes snappy. I hate that. I feel so distant sometimes. There's a disconnect between work life and family life. I struggle with it. Battle with it daily. I don't find the work-family juggle very easy and it can sometimes make me feel immensely sad. Right to my bones. 

But we gots to live.

And someone once went to town on me in the comments section, saying that I chose this and that it's my own fault. Well. I guess she didn't read my blog very carefully. I work four days, and when I am home, Matt works. We have that one day together, and Sydney sucks you dry. To your very marrow.

But back to my blog. Life is this imperfect thing, and so is my parenting. But, I am a mama, but I am also so much more. And my blog is more than parenting and sometimes not so much about parenting. And since I've returned to the paid workforce, I feel distant from the mummy blogger tag. Actually I think I've always been distant from the mummy blogger tag (EEK!). I could go 'round and 'round in circles with this discussion by myself. I won't. But I could.

I think Anna sums it up well here.

This is me wearing a necklace my friend Pip gave me, a few years ago. I love wearing it. It makes me think of her and all the awesome sauce she spreads throughout the world.

I have other things that have been gifted to me that remind me of special people in my life. My Mum gave me one of her vintage kaftans. I wore it throughout my first pregnancy, with the Doctor in my belly. I love that kaftan, though it's getting a bit threadbare, it's so loved and makes me think of my Mum.

I love wearing things that remind me of people. It puts me in a good mood and makes me think they're kind of looking after me that day. In a weird way. That might sound kooky. Apologies. I might be a little kooky.

End of rambling post.
At ease soldiers.


Christina said...

No two words could sum up such a complex character as yourself! (If you don't count the two words that I just used.) No one as lovely, comedic, honest, stylish and sweet as yourself should be pigeonholed.

Dear lady, do be gentle on yourself and keep wearing lovely things that make you happy. Balance is as hard to find as it is to maintain I have found. xx

shine little light* said...

I don't think of you as a mummy blogger. And I read and enjoy plenty of them. I think of you as a fellow sydneysider, smart witty lady. I find it hard to sum myself up as a blogger. I'm not any of the categories that are out there which is incredibly frustrating and also just makes me think: fuck it. Screw the categories and just get onwith it. Oh and screw crap people who have to have an opinion on how you should do things. Comment deleted! Xsx

Lady Moss said...

i know what you mean Lexi! You write beautifully and take a mean picture, keep smiling! love Lady Moss x

Little Bird, Big Chip said...

i don't have any kids but i read your blog. i thin you are great also i think that people who rip shreds off another person via the interwebs are giant dicks. people like that really grind my gears because its like the interweb makes it ok to be totally shit to another person because its faceless and therefore no accountability? sure ive read some blogs and wanted to make shitty comments because some people are weiners (not you by the way!) and i dont agree with their words, but i guess i come from the old school of, if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all. its just manners right? are there no manners on the interwizzle?! blogs are funny little things. they are personal yet for anyone to read, they chop and change. i sometimes question my own, it started just for me and was pretty loose but then as i used it to document my work i thought i should be more professional but then its no fun. yup, blogs can be a sticky wicket sometimes thats fo sure. anyhows, i read, i likes. x

purely4kids said...

You don't have to give yourself a title, you are a wonderful mama and a wonderful blogger. I won't say here what I'd like to say re the person that told you "you chose this", well so what if you did. It's ok to be a mama, and it's ok to work and it's ok to feel shitty and tired - you're only human. And you know what, Sydney is hard, it does suck you dry - argh now you're going to get me started. I too feel shitty that I come home from work and I'm tired and I'm stressed and I too stuggle to get that work/life/family balance right. Great photo by the way.

Norbyah said...

great post, lexi. don't worry about that one person who decides that she can tell you that you "chose" putting food on your table and a roof over your head is really a "choice"....i am a working mum, too, so i love reading your blog because i feel less alone in my frazzled existence....i adore seeing pictures of your kiddos (like the one of tiny in her purple frills and yellow gumboots) because you can see they have a wonderful mama who encourages them to be who they are....and that's why you shouldn't feel bad for being who you are....or feeling like you need to explain your blog. i love it....

Lilli boo said...

Lexi, a;though we dont know each other on a face to face level, I have always loved what you write and how you share your world. It's a fabulous place you live and your experiences are fun to read, your outlook on life and the way you observe the world are why I keep coming back! Keeping it real & fresh is what your about and I love your honesty too...there's too much of needing to be defined in this world, and I'm sick of tags and labels unless they are on clothing and products I like, and thats where they should stay..
I like you for who you are...keep it up hon. xo

beebeeoko said...

I'm a bit wary of mummy bloggers who try to come across as expert parents. I have been a mum for 16 months and I already know there's no way anyone could call themself an expert parent. We only know what it's like to parent our own children and I've found I prefer to find my own way then to rely on someone else who's had a totally different experience to me.
I like reading about different families and their different lives and also about people and their lives when they don't mention their children.
And I think being critical of the way someone parents is fucked and if they don't like what you're doing then surely they can piss off and read about someone else's life.

sorry for going on like that.

mama bear said...

Ah Lex it's so hard. You're right – Sydney does suck you dry. But what can you do? Gotta keep going. You do an amazing job. You are kind, caring and beautiful inside and out.


My Messy Room said...

Sydney is a hard (but awesome) city, especially as a parent working. traffic, commuting, money, all of it can be full on and stressful and kids just have to be part of the ride. You do just have to get on with it don't you...
Nobody is perfect and thats what's cool about this world. Love reading your honesty and fun! This is my kind of mummy blog! xx

[Good Mum Hunting] said...

I think you are doing an amazing job, at juggling motherhood and work. I honestly don't know how I would do it.

It must break your heart to be away from your babes, but you are right, money puts the food on the table, the clothes on your back etc.

Sydney does suck the life out sometimes. I feel it, even being a full time stay at home mum. The city overwhelms me, the beaches are barely a refuge to relax anymore, the traffic is the single most worst thing about our city... But in summer, when the sun shines, this city is epic. No one does summer like Sydney.

I've never thought of your blog as a mummy blog. It's a blog about life, fashion, kids, music, art, I could go on and on.

I'm not any kind of blogger, I just write what I feel. And what it's my head.

I love wearing things that remind me of people too. My most cherished thing is a Tiffany & Co dog tag that I wear every day. It's been thrashed, I've had it for 10 years but it's the most precious thing I own. Sacred even. When I get nervous, I touch it, play with it. It helps me somehow. Now my baby plays with it, sucks on it, teethes on it. Such a multifunctional piece of metal!

These are the waves our life, up and down. In and out. Calm then dumped. On repeat all the time. Hang in there. I think you are super.


fast times in m√ľnchen. said...

I don't care what blogger title you give yourself Lexi, just don't stop writing please. Hats off to you working mama. The smalls are lucky to have such a brillant mama. xx
So true about Sydney. When are we moving to Tasmania?

AmeliaDraws said...

ahhh, that question of choice: If one chooses to be a parent one forgoes the right to whinge/moan/acknowledge the difficulties? That’s the question I’ve been rolling around my tired mind as I have had to put aside my writing and art for the sake of my incubating child, my two sons and the preservation of my mental health. The putting aside of my second biggest love hurt... but according to many people I had two little treasures who should be my prime focus: at the expense of everything else? Apparently. Well it doesn't always work like that does it Lexi. Thank you for sharing your words, celebrations but most importantly your pathos and imperfections. Cheers Amelia resting artist and blogger.

katiecrackernuts said...

Ai yi yi, you said it sister. I don't live in Sydney but chose to work there and it does suck us dry. We knew it would and we had/have a plan and this was part of it but, whoa, tough going I tells ya.

As for Sydney suckin' ya dry head the car north with the little ones, and ya fella, one weekend soon and we'll play at the beach - brassy one, calm one, swanky one, fish and chips and milkshake one - you choose.

Bring that Muma Bear and Pinwheel too.