Thursday, 28 March 2013

How Not To Behave On Social Media


Have you seen the rise and rise of ugliness on the interwebz?

Facebook is like some cesspit of nasty commentary - and if you disagree with someone, kapow, shot down in one sweet comment. And then a wave of followers will whack you down too. 

Not only that, corporate pages are used for broadcasting whiny tirades, attacks on whoever is at the helm of that page.

And anonymous comments on blogs are rife. Running rampant through their (soon to be defunct) Google Reader, they're pollinating posts with vitriol without giving a second thought to the fallout.

Now let's think about that.

Just as there's someone on the other end of a phone call - there's someone who - every morning, wakes up, just like you, yawns, stretches, swings their legs out of bed - and checks their social media. But perhaps unlike you, they're the gatekeeper of bad messages. Angry people up in arms about something. And they have to manage that.

Way to ruin a day.

There's some very simple etiquette that needs to be applied when you're playing with others - it applies IRL and it applies online. 

Here are my 5 tips on how to behave on social media, because apparently, people need a reminder (not you guys though):

1. If you wouldn't say it in real life to someone's face - then don't say it. What gives you the power to blast someone on the interwebz? It's that disassociation that you're talking to another person, and that power play. 

2. If you can't put your name to it, don't write it. It's so sad that there seems to be an uprise in people who don't know their names, so they have to be anonymous. It's lame. Don't leave anonymous comments. It's mean and nasty, and I'm pretty sure that you're not only making someone else's day pretty shitty - but you feel riled up as well. 

3. Spread some love. If you don't like what someone has said somewhere on a blog or Facebook or Twitter - wherever, click away! You have the power in your fingertips. Go find something that you do love and tell that person that you love it. You will feel so happy that you were positive, and so will they - it's contagious. 

4. Bullying. It's not just happening to school children, bullying is rife on social media. Just because you hide behind a fairly anonymous profile picture, ganging up on people who have differing perspectives is not funny. Just because you think "you're having fun" doesn't make it not bullying. It's bullying. Plain and simple. 

5. Moderate. Yes, yes we all know - don't delete posts, but what if they are defamatory, heckling, harrassing, rude, obnoxious or just plain moderating - you need to. Plain and simple. You need to be responsible for what's happening on your page - and whether you're the ringleader, or just watching what's happening - it's still harrassment and you ultimately are responsible for what happens on the page. 

I commented on a Facebook page earlier in the week, and my opinion differed to the page manager. I wasn't baiting. I wasn't angry. I just stated what I thought. 60 comments later - I was totally wired after being name-called and shot down. It wasn't a nice feeling - and the community said they were just having fun. It wasn't fun. Fun feels...fun. This was nasty. 

I shouldn't have retaliated (what a n00b), but I didn't want to be attacked (who does) - instead they just kept beating down on my friend and I. Relentless. 

And as for anonymous comments, I delete every single one of them. Rarely are they ever nice comments, I don't even read them anymore. Not that I get many - but when I do - I am happily oblivious now. I don't need negativity in my life. Life is hard enough without having nameless people hailing down on me. 

I see other bloggers receive hateful comments too - why? Why all this animosity? 

Share some love today. 

Beautiful lion image via here. 




14 comments:

Linda Drummond said...

Love is awesome. And YOU are awesome.

Steve said...

Hi PMM, Agree on all your points. Trouble is, not everyone follows the etiquette. Not just ppl trolling. There are ppl in my industry that may agree with a comment or blog post I've written but they wont sign their name for fear of admitting that they read my blog! Its funny that those who say they don't take much notice of blogs are usually very up to date with the info on them!
It's a double edged sword. I respect the right for someone to comment anonymously for fear of retaliation etc but I don't condone maliciousness. As a rule I just delete anything nasty but I keep some comments that may disagree with my point of view but haven't resorted to being snarky about it. The most important thing I have have learnt to do is not respond to ppl looking for an online scrap-no one wins.
Happy Easter!

shoppegirls said...

Well said.

SarahMac said...

Totally agree

Danimezza said...

I love you

Bek said...

Ah, you should be queen of the Internet. How awful to get caught up in Facebook comment wars! I hope you are ok and have been able to shake it off. I stopped using fb for a while because I had a couple of friends writing nastiness about Christians (I am one)- not directed personally at me, but it still wore me out. Now I don't mind people not believing the same things I do- I don't agree with everyone either- but it seems we have lost the ability to disagree with kindness. The Internet just seems to magnify this. Sigh.

Have a lovely long weekend!

Carolyne Taylor said...

Fight the good fight! I'm not a fan of bad manners, in life or online. Love your work.

Mrsceeeceee said...

Great post!

Karen Reid said...

Well said great post

Carli said...

I'm convinced some people are just sitting around waiting to be outraged sometimes. And yeah, funny how bullying is always "just a laugh".

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cindy_bugandpop said...

Of course you are right, and I am ending you lots of loves! And like we tell our kids about the bullies in the playground. Just ignore them, it is their problem not yours and thankfully there is more niceness around the traps then crappyness. xx

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Caitlin said...

Great guidelines.