Good Cop//Bad Cop:: The Disciplining Dilemma

Tiny is one of the most feisty little tornadoes you'll ever meet. 

She's a real fireball. 

One minute she's full of cuddles, snuggling into you, the next a wildcat. 

This last couple of weeks has left the Doctor scratched, crying and sore due to Tiny's feisty outbursts. 

It might sound funny - but the reality? It makes me sad and cranky - the Doctor wears these scars because his little sister can be a real brute. He, on the other hand, is Mr Placid. At almost eight years old he's the cuddliest, warmest, chattiest little boy. 

So tonight, when I was in a separate room, I heard a little outburst - came out to the living room to discover the Doctor crying and Tiny standing beside him looking nonchalant. 

I promise, you would have seen steam coming out my ears. 

Just yesterday I had spoken with Tiny (with my Mum) about how she wasn't to hurt her brother, and how it made everyone sad that she kept scratching him. I'm not talking little scratches, I'm talking cheetah scratch marks down one side of his face, or the long scratch that went shoulder to the middle of his chest. 

I sent Tiny to her room and tended to the Doctor. She'd pulled his ear - and hard - because she said he was annoying her. Tears streamed down his little reddened face. 

Yesterday we'd told Tiny that if she continued, we'd have to punish her. And that would mean taking her Barbies and her Monster High dolls away. I've tried other ways of disciplining her, but the little punk doesn't give two hoots. She smirks, does this lame apology and then re-offends a few days later. 

I sat her down and talked to her about hurting the Doctor. About how sad it made us. And that her dolls were going. 

She smirked and said "Well at least you're not taking my Trashies."

I snapped. And she cracked. Here started hysteria in the household. For over an hour there was sobbing, uncontrollable sobbing. But it wasn't just Tiny crying her heart out. The Doctor sobbed because he felt guilty.

I am the bad cop. But I didn't feel bad (I am SUCH a hard ass). It was hard to punish Tiny, but ultimately, I know this is what she needs. Boundaries. 

image via here

A Long Way From Home

I think I'm going through a difficult stage of parenting, and when I really think of it, I think it's come down to a few factors and not the smalls, not me, it's life. We're looking to move, I'm looking for more work, Matt's looking for a new job, we're looking to mix things up, and because of this, our usual routine and calm has been thrown to the winds. We're all a little tattered and windswept and we need to shelter together. The four of us.

I sat in Tiny's doorway tonight to keep her in bed. I'm tired of disciplining her bedtimes. She won't sleep during the day. Night times are drawn out. She's in a filthy mood. I'm in an even filthier mood. I'm weary of the tug o' war. Yes I know it will pass, but it's right in this minute it's all too much and I just need a big fat phat break.

I'm going to pare things back a little. I'm going to simplify in this crazy time. They have to be. It's what the littlies need and it's what I need. If I'm here a little more intermittently, you'll know why. I'm fine, I'm just not phine-a-licious.

Have you felt this way in your parenting history? What's the cure? Tell me. I need it.

Mama Punishes Herself

Sometimes I wonder about myself. I really do. I see Tiny doing something she really shouldn't be. But I think, oh well, she's having a great time, I'll let her go. And then I wind up picking up hundreds - maybe even thousands of these bead things from all over the ground (let's just say that life got a whole lot more colourful after these shots were taken). What's that saying about making a rod for my own back...? Next time I will not let Tiny get unruly with the beads. Next time I will hide the beads and not let her go crazy with the beads. Reminds me of this.. Yes. History does repeat itself.

But it's pretty.. And it reminded me of a weird dream I had last night of a rainbow that had grey hearts punched out of it. Weird. Yes.

Sorry for the dull nature of my photies. It's grey here. And I have no control over the sunshine.