What You Want Me To Blog About

It's been a while my friends. I don't want to bore you with my reasons other than to say - you know when Bjork sang "it's oh so quiet". Well let's switch those lyrics out - and sing "I'm oh so tired, shhh shhh."

Not sleeping. Not eating. I am totally stressed. 

I'm contributing my verse, as per Apple's instructions. This is my freaking verse. 

Like Fantine in Les Miserables - I dreamed a dream. 

I did people. I did dream a flipping dream. And life is not quite what I expected. Which is both enchanting and exasperating.

Right now, I am so tired to the bones that my bones are aching. I just need a really huge hug. But then - do not look at me. No. Don't even dare. Because if you do, if you are too nice to me, I will cry.

I am right there my friends. 

So instead I am delivering the things you've requested via Facebook:

1. Kitten News: We've hit the teenage months when the cat canters through the house like a race horse. Gai Waterhouse would do well to get over here, because when he runs, he really runs. 

I have one good hand, and one battered hand. The battered hand is the hand that Happy likes to attack. 

He's taken to climbing the flyscreen. 

He's totally, purely, utterly, extremely crazy.

I would like it if he'd sit a little closer to me on the couch at night. I would really like that. Right now I have to play hard to get.

2. A people post merged with part of the reason I haven't been blogging: Last year Matt's job finished up. It wasn't something we'd planned for - and as such, it took some mental adjustment. For some part - it was over the holidays, and it was kind of good because we don't really have anyone to look after our kids; but on the other side, it was super stressful as only money woes can be. 

While being able to support and provide for my family has been awesome - it's also wearying. And emotional. And I feel like I never get to see my children enough. And when I do, I am a cranky tired ogre. 

There's also the bit where paying bills is a huge struggle. Yeah. That bit. 

In the morning I may well delete number 2 from this post. I hate talking about this stuff.

3. Oscar Prep: I am pretty sure all celebrities are polishing up their sequins. Let's guess that J-Law is going to wear Dior. Heidi Klum is going to be attention seeking. Sophia Vergara (if she attends) will wear a fishtail frock. Because she always. thinks. she's a mermaid. And has to keep showing us her incredible hourglass figure. Yes. We're jealous. The men will wear suits. Boring. 

4. Miscellaneous: I can't stop listening to this song. If you need a big sob, play this. And watch the clip. And then look at how hot Christina Aguilera is.


This is the post that you asked for. 

Feel free to ask me a question. I'll answer it. Ask me anything. 

I Forgot To Say

I am over on Facebook while my blog is on hiatus. Come talk Bee Gee hair with us. 

Don't be shy! 

The Positivity Parade

I don't know about you, but more and more I see this quagmire of negativity and hate being rained down on people on Facebook. It's becoming an ugly place where people use it as a springboard to whinge and whine about what you didn't get. What happened to me? Poor me! Boo hoo!


Seriously. What happened to you to leave a trail of demoralising comments.


It's crippling.


Someone on the other end of the interwebz is receiving your negativity - and they have to deal with it. Negativity can be crippling.


Today I'm making it the International Day of the Positivity Parade. Let your good will shine! Let it shine! Leave a trail of positive comments on Facebook today! For friends. For companies. For everyone. I'm officially sick of the hate brigade.

There is more power in the Positivity Parade.

PS - Photo? Fab things for today: pink pens make me positively perky, stripey beauty bag - perfectly punchy, Donna Hay twine - because it's precisely peppy, and the photo is me posing at a Toni&Guy launch last night. More on that later because it's perfectly good news all 'round.

The New Look PottyMouthMama

I've had a makeover over on my Facebook page. You should totes come over and check it out - as well as my new ample derriere. And bosom. And nose. And new and improved skinny arm. We can chat. And talk. And stuff.

Of if you're more into short and sharp, come over to Twitter.

PottyMouthMama. Get it while it's hot.

I Love This

The best hat of all for a breastfeeding baby.

When - and if - I have another baby, I am totes getting one of these.  Order one for your bebe here.

So damn cool.

Smoke on that Mr Zuckerberg.

via Jezebel

Well. That Was Ugly.

Well last night took a very different turn, and I can say with every inch of truth in my bones, I innocently posted that image - and overnight it caused a freaking riot on my Facebook page.

Let's recap:



- someone threatened to report me to the AFP for posting an image of a woman breastfeeding


- I got told I was a hippy feminist AND that I am a paedophile


- apparently my friends have low intelleck (sic)


- I was told I was a coward and a communist

- I got told I was Hitler


-  And I am the one who got a very firm rap over the knuckles from FB for posting the shot of the woman breastfeeding

Did I threaten anyone? Harass anyone? Bully anyone? No. I just stuck a photo that I loved on Facebook and the troll patrol came out in force.

Well screw them.
I stand my ground. Breastfeeding is natural and awesome and beautiful and brilliant - if you can do it.
 
Breasts. Made for Milk.
 
PS - image by Picasso - of a woman *gasp* breastfeeding

Dudes!

Peeps, I'm concerned! You think I really keep a s/sheet of my Facebook friends. Are you ker-azy? I work 4 days a week, I have to read 6 pages of school notes. I have two children and a husband, and a truckload of washing to get through, biscuits to bake, beds to make, showers to have, make-up to apply, phone calls to make, groceries to shop for, must I go on? And you think I really have time (and want) to compile a spreadsheet of my FB friends! How OCD do you think I am? Allow me to introduce you to satire. (Perhaps I need to hone my craft a little more.)

Here's A Big Question

So friends, gather 'round, a little closer. You up the back? Don't be shy, there's a seat up the front here, come on, yes, ok, that's good. Now, let's begin.

Facebook. I'm on it. Are you?

I'm on it personally, I'm on it professionally, and I'm on it blog-ally (come join us, we can chat - in real time.. Sort of.).

But here's the big question.

What happens when someone de-friends you? And don't think I didn't notice. I've got a whole database on an Excel spreadsheet that alphabetizes my friends. I roll call every morning. I notice. Trust me. When that number drops, I notice.

And now I've figured out who defriended me. Yep. I did.

There's part of me that wants to re-friend, but once you've been de-friended, can you re-friend? My head and my heart are aligned - they've signed an allegiance - they both say no.

But there's part of me, maybe it's ego, that wants to say YES! YES I can re-friend.

And so it is, this Friday night, can you re-friend a de-friend?

image via Vanishing Point

Edit:: I definitely don't keep an Excel spreadsheet of people on Facebook. In the name of comedy, I was hamming it up. Work with me peeps!

Stop! It's Thrifty Time

On Saturday, when I was meant to be packing more stuff away and tidying our abode, I snuck off to a flea market as only true flea marketing warriors would do. Warrior? Why warrior? Well my husband was grumpy, but due to the fact I was grumpier, I won and escaped the throes of house chores and ran away for 1/2 hour to join the thrifty circus.

I gave myself a budget of $10. And I stuck to it.

In amongst some other stuff I scored, I got these three pretty plates to add to my collection.

And those bromeliads? I bought a bunch of those for 10 tiny dollars too. Ok so I went over budget. But not by much. Just double or nothing folks, double or nothing!

How was your weekend? Anything to report?

Come join me on Facebook too. I set up a Facebook page today. It's fresh and precious.