Christmas Gift Guide:: For Men

I am lying in bed sick for the second day. Seriously. Someone save me. 

Given I am so incredibly busy in bed, I've put together a gift guide for men. 

Notoriously difficult to buy for, I've done some trouble shooting that will mean you'll score a slam dunk in the gift giving department. Go on. Get shopping.

1. Hookey Board from The SuperCool $40: Hours of fun, he can brood all he likes while getting points on the board with this classic. 

2. Grown Alchemist Body Cleanser 500ml $34.95: Have you smelt this? Well you jolly well should. It's sublime, and anything that gets him into the shower gets the tick of approval from this wife. 

3. The Chivas Shave from The Barber Shop $48: I am a really big fan of giving experiences - and I love the idea of a traditional cutthroat razor shave, while he enjoys a Chivas Signature cocktail. That's pretty sweet. 

4. Sveg Overnight bag from Elk $245: Plant the seed, watch it grow. Give him this beautiful overnight bag and he might take the hint and whisk you away on a romantic getaway. A girl's got to dream.

5. Makr Bottle Key from Mr Kitly $18: Made to blend into your keys (but not be turned into one) this bottle opener is pretty nifty to have, and I think makes a practi-cool gift for the guy on the run.

6. D.R. Harris Windsor Eau de Toilette 100ml from Saison $89.95: A fresh citrus fragrance that warms into black pepper and vetiver - YUM! Traditional, understated and good hit of summery goodness. 

7. LAMY Al-Star Rollerball Pen from Notemaker $49: I am a bit of a pen nerd, so sue me. No don't. But seriously, there's nothing nicer than writing with a good pen. Maybe you'll even get a love letter or 52. 

8. Extreme Speed Boat Ride - 60 mins for 2 people from Red Balloon $140: I took Matt on one of these for a wedding anniversary gift. Despite his reluctance (and my super excitement) he loved it. It was THE BEST FUN EVER!!! Looking at him on this was like looking at a puppy with its head sticking out the car window soaking up life (in the best possible way). Honestly. We got off this ride, and immediately started thinking about who we could gift it to. It's SO MUCH FREAKING FUN! 

9. The Art of Sourdough bread making class at Brasserie Bread $140: We don't need more things, but we knead bread. HA! See what I did there. I'd be pretty wrapt if Matt started baking a fresh loaf here and there.

10. A goat from Oxfam Unwrapped $39: You read it right! Give the man a goat. It'll give everyone plenty to smile about. 

What Can I Do? Stop The Violence

It's a shocking fact widely reported that one patient was admitted to St Vincent's Hospital every 30 minutes after being knocked unconscious on New Year's Eve.

One patient. Every 30 minutes. In one hospital alone. 

Alcohol fuelled violence seems to be scarily on the rise, and it makes me wonder - what do we do? How do we stop it? How do we protect our young men from thugs that drink too much and thrive on the fuel to rile up their aggressive streak?

Daniel Christie is 18 years old and fighting for his life after being king hit by Shaun McNeil, in which police allege was a series of unprovoked attacks.

Any google search will suggest that this slight teenager, on the cusp of the rest of his life, was never a match for the 25 year old labourer who took him down.

I feel sick about it. Sick that someone would do this - and that so many violent men are doing this. 

Sick to my stomach for Daniel's family. I can't even imagine what they're going through. 

Sick that it feels like nothing's being done about this rise in violence on the streets. 

Thomas Kelly died last year - in almost the same spot. What did we learn from that? 

Apparently not much, except that Thomas Kelly is very much-loved and very much-missed by his family and friends. 

Oh and the perpetrator got off very lightly. 

But Thomas Kelly made us all sit up and think - how can this happen to our kids? Thomas Kelly 

Out in the heat today I was pinning laundry on the clothesline, a quiet meditation, thinking about Daniel's family. A grief welling up inside of me. I have a son. Maybe you do too. I want to do something about this violence. This violence is not ok. I want Daniel's family to know they are not alone. I quietly contemplated what I could do for this family. 

Flowers are nice. A meal is great. But what can I do for Daniel Christie's family? For Thomas Kelly's family? 

I can use my voice. 

That's the sum of it. 

It really doesn't feel like enough, but if we all start talking about this - and acknowledging that it's not ok for men to endure this violence, for our good men to endure this violence then we start a murmur. We strike up a conversation. It becomes part of our vernacular. 

Matt and I briefly chatted about the violence, the out-of-control-ness, the what-to-do-ness. 

Matt suggested when the Doctor was old enough that he not frequent those areas. 

But that's years off yet - and yes, while I see avoiding areas as a good (but which areas do you avoid, because unlike a movie where attacks mostly occur in small dark alleys - it's out in high traffic public areas, anywhere really) temporary solution - we can't live our lives wrapped in cotton wool. 

And we shouldn't. 

And we won't. 

I'm sure that all our good men have endured some kind of unprovoked violence.

Let's not tolerate it. Let's not quieten down about it.

Yes men have testosterone. But we're not cavemen and we don't go out looking to harm others in this playground of life. 

I want to do something for my son. For my nephews. For all the good men out there that don't thrive on violence.

I want to do something for Daniel Christie. 

Gift Guide:: For The Papas

Men. Science says they're the most difficult people to buy for. Ok I maybe made that up, but it's true. Ask anyone. Men. What do you get them? Women? Easy. Men? No. Not easy.

Here are 10 ideas to get you on the track to gift giving utopia. Well here's hoping. But men. They're traditionally unpredictable creatures. Or are they? I don't jolly well know.


1. Stripe Pocket Detail t-shirt from Country Road $49.95 - You can't fail a classic striped tee. And if he doesn't like it, it's the perfect addition to your wardrobe. Are you picking up what I'm putting down?
2. Moroccan Neroli Shaving Duet from Aesop $80 - This smells SO. DAMN. GOOD. And I hear from a reliable source that it's the bee's knees too. 
3. Men's Original Hobe from Hobes $159 - Matt has these. Matt loves these. Your man might love them too. Classic cool.

4. Ai Weiwei Sunflower Seeds Large Handkerchief from Third Drawer Down $26 - Cool graphic design on a utilitarian accessory. 
5. Smith Journal one year subscription $47.80 - This mag is such a great read. SUCH a great read. 
6. Large Sage and Citrus Amber candle from Plain and Simple $40 - This is one of the best smelling candles I've ever gifted. And the packaging is awesome
7. Luxe beach towel (Shoalhaven) from Lark $69.95 - Ships ahoy! I do love this nauti-cool towel.

8. Notepads and pens from Oxfam Unwrapped $22 - Totally stuck for ideas? Oxfam Unwrapped have some genius cards that mean someone is going to be super happy.
9. Gift box - 4 pack from Happy Socks $59.95 - Speaking of happy - Happy Socks. Matt loves being given socks. Don't tell him I told you.
10. The Little Vege Patch Co. from My Messy Room $44.95 - If your man is a little bit handy in the garden, this book looks a whole lot of ace. 

Being The Mother Of A Son

Back when I was pregnant with the Doctor, a good friend said to me, half aghast, half horrified - "What are you going to do if it's a boy?"

I was taken aback. I was delighted to be pregnant. I considered my pregnancy the best gift of my life. I barely gave the "What sex is it?" dialogue any airtime in my mind. But when my friend asked this, I was  definitely shocked. I didn't give two hoots whether I was carrying a boy OR a girl. I remember after  giving birth, holding that newborn on my chest - in sheer relief, delight, and exhaustion  - it wasn't until my sister prompted me that I took a look to see if we had a baby boy or girl. 

In answer to my friend: I was going to parent my child to the best of my ability. Regardless of sex. I was going to do the best job I possibly could. 

                                                            ***
I've long been an avid fan of Steve Biddulph. In fact, it's been eight years since I discovered the  wisdom of Steve Biddulph. When I was pulling together ideas for this post, I was a little hell-bent on getting in touch with him. I went through his publisher, Twitter, Facebook, Google, and finally his talent agent before I was finally able to make  contact. When I saw that pop up in my inbox my heart literally skipped a beat. 

Kindly Steve has provided some insight into his early work as a family therapist.

"As a family therapist way back in the 1980s it was clear that men were often the dysfunctional ones in families, and that rather than just blame them, we needed to offer more help to find their voices and bring back their hearts to be available to their partners and children.  The book Manhood proved this was true, so many men found it moving and helpful, and we began to then think - how can we prevent the way society damages men in the first place. 

Raising Boys was the result of that, and for twenty five years I have carried that message to as many people as possible in talks and workshops.  Mothers especially appreciate understanding that their boys do need teaching how to be kind, helpful, and at the same time keep that boy energy - that it's not bad, just in need of ways to be expressed.  Schools have let boys be more active, and many parents don't rush their little boys into school, waiting until they are really ready.  Its clear that they develop more slowly and in a different sequence to most girls. 

"Gross motor first, fine motor last".   And as dads have become more involved - today's father spends on average three times as much time with his children as the last generation - both boys and girls feel their fathers love them, and want to be more like him.   If we want good men, we have to start with little babies, love them, teach them, engage them and show them."
                                                       ***

I grew up as one of three sisters. I don't have a brother. I'm not a man. What do I know about parenting a son?

It turns out: a lot. I'm learning daily.

My son is gentle, thoughtful, kind. He loves reading. He's mad for LEGO. He's inquisitive. Chatty. He really likes to chat. I'm careful not to tell him to stop talking. I want him to keep talking to me. 

He's smart. Funny. Fun. Cuddly. He likes wearing green, on green, on green. I let him - because that's self-expression. 

Sometimes he needs a gentle nudge to try something new. Sometimes he needs a gentle nudge to tidy his room. Or put his clothes in the laundry. Most of the time he is pure awesome.

He'd like to not wash his hair regularly. 
He'd probably eat choc-mint ice cream for every meal if he could. (Me too.)
He asks me to tuck him in about 32 times each night. 

I see glimpses of him as a teenager, and it makes me feel nervous. 
I see glimpses of him as an adult, and it makes me feel excited. 

                                                          ***

In answer to my friend's question: "What am I going to do if it's a boy?"

Fall in love madly, hug him like crazy, listen to him speak, kiss him as much as I can, tell him he's brilliant, teach him it's most important to be kind, help keep his dreams afloat, let him cry if he wants to, hold him when he's sad, teach him to tidy up, let him make messes in the kitchen and rumble and raspberry on the bed before bedtime. 
                                                         ***

We want to celebrate the good men in the world. Read more 'Being the mother of a son' posts today at the following blogs. Together we've banded together to talk boys & men (but not Boyz II Men):

Meet Me At Mikes
Checks and Spots
Mrs Smith
Kootoyoo
Sadie and Lance
One Flew Over
Pigeon Pair
Mogantosh
Hugo and Elsa
Gourmet Girlfriend

It Was Only A Matter Of Time

A quick Friday funny. Of course this had to happen.

So. Damn. Funny.

Oscars 2013:: The Tuxedos

Let's get the men over and done with - because, it's totes my least favourite part of the show. I mean it's a black suit. Blah blah blah. Here are three of the best. Fast forward the rest. 

Oh Jason Schwartzman. If only you were two feet taller. You look so dashing, even the moustache is working for you. I know right! And the side-part, phwoar. You look sharp.

Edit:: He's 1.68m.

Eddie Redmayne shows them how it's done.Except for the velvet slippers. No. No. No. Too casual. Too contrived. Should have gone for patent leather with shoelaces. 

Edit:: He's 1.8m.

Oh my lucky stars - now Eddie - take note of Joseph Gordon-Levitt's shoes. And to see him singing AND dancing today. Sigh. I'm just going to have to google how tall you to see if you can be my celebrity crush. 

Edit:: He's 1.78m, for the record.

Uber Good Christmas Gift Guide:: For Him

Men are notoriously difficult to buy for. Well I think so anyway. I have a high unsuccess rating with gift-giving to my husband. Which means every year, gift giving becomes harder and harder - until you get so far down the track that he'll wind up with a new lead pencil, an eraser and a notepad. Utilitarian is the way to go I think.

So here are some of my ideas for a man-friend.

1. Skate Rocker from Freedom $499:: An investment, yes, but I love everything about this chair - the lines, the colour (plus it comes in a beautiful tan leather) and the fact that it's a rocker. Rock on baby! 

2. Dermalogica Soothing Shave Cream by Dermalogica $28:: I've talked about this here before - I love it so much I want to talk about it again. When Matt started teaching, he wanted to be clean shaven - his skin wigged out a bit, and so he tried this Soothing Shaving Cream. I've used it myself (except not on my face) and can vouch for it. Plus it smells super wonderful. Couple this with the Dermalogica Pre-Shave Guard and you've got yourself a pretty sweet shave.

3. Acca Kappa Ivory Badger Hair Shaving Brush from Saison $180:: I don't know about the man in your life, but my man never really buys himself anything except the essentials. I love this beautiful shaving brush - a piece of luxury for the everyday.

4. Aussie Rules Footy for an Indigenous Footy Player from Oxfam Unwrapped $65:: Every year I love to support Oxfam's Unwrapped program. There are so many seriously good causes, and there's no risk that this gift is not going to be liked. Give the gift that keeps on giving - and choose something - big or small to go to someone who really needs it. 

5.Vans - Bright Green Black from SurfStitch $89.95:: Nothing says summer quite like a fresh pair of Vans, some boardies and a beach towel. Or a skateboard in Matt's case. I love this green. And I love SurfStitch. Their customer service is WOWSERS. 

6. The Thirty Six by Siegmund Siegreich $34.95:: If your man is a reader, then this book is incredible. It's written by a Polish gentleman who, as a teenager, survived the holocaust (he now lives in Melbourne). It's a book that will live within you forever - and you won't be able to put it down. Heart-breaking, harrowing, and  so beautifully written - I highly recommend it.  

7. Istanbul Turkish Towel from Lark $39.95:: Traditionally made and from natural fibres, these Turkish towels are fast drying and nice and compact. Perfect to toss in the car for an impromptu afternoon jaunt to the beach. 

8. Country Road Swim Short $49.95:: I like the cut of these shorts - and the colours. And a good stylish, utilitarian gift never hurt anyone. 

9. Sony PS3 Playstation Console 500GB $369 from JB Hi-Fi:: I will admit it - sometimes at night, when the kids are in bed, I challenge Matt to a game on the PS3. It's fun! You should totes try it!

10. A massage voucher:: Chances are - if your man is like my man, he doesn't pamper himself much. Which is why I really love getting Matt a gift voucher for a massage. It never fails to make him more relaxed. 

The Tale of Two Alexes

Once upon a time I went on a date with a guy called Alex. Let's call him Boy Alex.

Boy Alex had approached me a week earlier in a cafe and given me his card. I thought to myself "Hmm, that was smooth." However I flinched at his name. It posed a problem for me because my name is Alex* too.

So we two Alexes (Boy Alex and Girl Alex) went on an ill-fated date that lasted all of about 45 minutes, due to the fact that for 43 minutes he had been a complete and arrogant asswipe, and I decided at 44.5 minutes that I wasn't going to endure it. Or go through life with a partner called Boy Alex.

I stood up, thanked him for his time and walked out of his life.

This was possibly one of my worst ever dates - not only did we have the same name and I had a premonition of being tagged "the two Alexes" which I thought was repugnant, but he was a total toolbox.

What's your worst ever date?

And while you're sharing, I'll go and think of some of my other worst dates. Because trust me, I have some real gems.

*And then everyone started calling me Lexi. Turns out we could have been lovers. Damn.

image via

Oscars: George Clooney Etc.

Any well-balanced Oscar round up should include men's style, right?

Well this is not balanced.

All the tuxedoes look pretty well the same to me, it's a bit boring to me, black-white-black-white-blah-blah-blah, so I'm not even going there.

And George Clooney? I never really got that thing. He's not hot to me. But this woman attached via velcro to him? She looks pretty pleased to be seen with him. So that's a good thing.

Does Your Man Hate Shopping?

Well I have just done you a huge favour. Looky looky what I found for you. US designer Thom Browne's new Autumn-Winter show in Paris. If your man's not inspired by this collection, I don't know what will inspire him.

Want more shopping inspiration? Click here.

Christmas Gift Guide: For the Men!

Men are the single most difficult creatures in the known cosmos to buy for. Men, many a-time have had me stumped. But they're not going to stop me this Christmas. And nor are they going to stop you. Gather 'round friends, here's 13 ideas to treat the beloved men in your life. Steely creatures that they are.

Toms mens canvas sneaks - Hype DC $80

The best classic striped tee. Ever. - Genki $79 

Moroccan Neroli Post-Shave Lotion - Aesop $51

Who wears short shorts? Not anyone you know in these - Volcom $TBC

Fair Trade Organic Blend Coffee 1kg - Palms $37.90 

Go analog with this speaker trumpet - Third Drawer Down $29

Make sure he's always on time for date night - WeWood watch $119

A good book. The Faith of Graffiti by Norman Mailer - Readings $28

You can't go past an Aerobie frisbee - Rebel Sport $30

Some killer sunglasses - Ksubi $300

What man doesn't love a fresh pair of socks? Bless their cotton socks - Happy Socks from Kaeho $17

Everyone wants to feel kneaded. Traditional artisan bread making classes - Brasserie Bread $POA

Loves surfing? Will love this new book - 'These are (mostly) pictures you've never seen before' by John Witzig $35

Or why not give the man poo?

Way Down In Kokomo

I'm not down in Kokomo. Heck I don't even know where Kokomo is. But I wish I was there. I'm not. Instead I'm drowning in bills, junk mail and endless Christmas lists that aren't mine. And a credit card that's hit DECLINE. Plus I'm back into my winter woollies! Yowser.

My Christmas list is very simple. Very streamlined. I'd like a new lip gloss for Christmas thanks Santa!

One of my faithful readers asked me to help her out of a gift glut. She'd hit the skids and needed inspiration for her boss. A double whammy because his birthday falls right near Christmas, so really she needed two ideas - and he's a non-drinker.

I feel I've let her down. Sorry dear reader, I really am. I had good intentions.

It's like the gingerbread house I bought and have still not constructed, sorry to the Doctor and Tiny. I am scoring myself a #fail this Christmas.

But fear not, I do have some ideas for a style-savvy, non-drinking, double whammy male. Check 'em out home girl!

Head into your closest David Jones and snaffle some Geoffrey Beene handkerchiefs Actually check before you go, just in case.

Who doesn't love to play frisbee? There's no more superior throwing power than the supremely good Aerobie. Love. Love. Love.No matter if your man-child has a pair of Havaianas already - nothing beats a fresh pair in a fresh new colour. Hello SUMMER! Men deserve to look and feel good too! Get them some lip schmackos from Mecca Cosmetica. Y to the UM!

Other ideas?

- A nice new beach towel

- A magazine subscription

- A music voucher

- A nice new set of playing cards. I know just the ones.

HUZZAH!

Christmas Ideas... Men!

Men, for me, are traditionally very difficult to buy for. It's not that I don't love them, it's just that I don't understand them. Socks, grunnos, meh - boring! But no longer gal pals, here are some ideas to troubleshoot the big boys in your life. A relaxed tee for the weekend? Saturdays Surf NYC from Incu $79 Bottoms up! Limited edition Absolut Vodka Glimmer $49Super stylish, retro-licious vintage poster from Galerie Montmartre $2,600

Very Don Draper - get your man his own chair - Metropolitan Armchair from Freedom $1299If your man really wants undies for Christmas - make them stylish - Horses Square Cut from Stonemen $35

Super cool headphones to listen to Richard Mercer's love song dedications. Via Alley $100

Nothing says love and devotion like a mixed tape. Check out these cool and quirky Mix Tape mini cushions (set of 3) from Pepper Stiches $48

Down on the sand and it's Beer O'Clock. Poolside? Beer O'Clock. Out of the shower? Beer O'Clock. This could possibly be man's new best friend. Third Drawer Down $85

I Do Declare!

So apparently those big blue eyes of Pete Evan's don't woo you ladies. I'm declaring our man of the match Manu. He snaffled a huge 70 per cent of votes. Let's take a look at the score board at full time shall we?

• Pete Evans came in at 18 per cent (I don't understand you ladies!)
• A side order of fries came last, with only 11 per cent. Chicken salt, sauce or gravy?
  
  And because I am such a good sport, and there's nothing than a bit of eye candy, here's a gratuitous shot. With leather necklace. Just for you. No. Not you, YOU!

images via smh.com.au

Great Buys For Hot Guys:: Christmas

I hate buying gifts for men. It just seems so impossible. Matt is worst of them all because half the time I find my presents are being squirrelled out of the house straight for a charity bin. They say charity starts at home, but how about loving my gift. So I'm problem solving guy presents today. Hooray for all womankind!

Let's go shoppers. A small balloon speaker for mobile phone or iPod. Around $75 from GeekStuff4U
I really love Aesop. They're Melbourne based, but so very cosmopolitan. Get your man friend this 'Barber of Seville' kit to put his best face forward. Aesop $80

Anna & Boy mid shorts. A bit pricey at $165. But cool, non?

An achingly cool 'Hemingway' hat from Truffaux Hats $145

Arvust super soft raglan tee from General Pants $39.95

A subscription to Jamie Magazine from iSubscribe $47.95 (6 issues)

Or Cook With Jamie (because let's face it, I want something other than toasted sandwiches and pizza) $41.95 at Borders

Hookturn BYO Coffee Cup $10.95

Anthony Lister Book from Stupid Krap $40

Tickets to a show at the Sydney Festival. Or some shows are free so pack a picnic!
New sunglasses from Australian company Colab Eyewear.

Or what about some new Havaianas?

Or a bottle or two of imported beer?

Or treat him to a massage? Or a pedicure?

Loads of great blokey ideas over at Remo General Store too!