2015. A blank page

This is it. The start of a new year. 

It always feels a bit daunting - what can unfurl from this beginning? 

I went to bed before it struck midnight, I was fast asleep as others celebrated. 

But 2015 holds much promise. What can it yield? What can I dream? What can be accomplished?

I am going to look after myself better. Invest in me. 

When you first become a mum - the people around you implore that unless you look after yourself, you can't look after your baby. Then life gets busier and busier, and you seem to fall by the wayside. But it's important to pick things back up - because it's true. Unless you take care of you, you can't take care of others. Of course it applies to everyone. Not just mothers. 

But this is not the year it starts. This is the day. And day by day, I will endeavour to do right by myself. 



(you can buy the print featured above at The Motivated Type)

New Year's Resolutions. And Me. Yes. NY Resolutions and Me.

Traditionally I have shrugged off New Year's resolutions. Well outwardly I tell everyone I don't do them. Just between me and myself - I do little things. 

But this year, I will outwardly tell you some things I am changing. Because these things are good, positive, very excellent things to do. In my mind at least - you my friend, dear reader, may have other thoughts - and that's ok. I am happy with challenging my own thoughts. Let's spar.

1. I am going to get more into my garden. Just because we rent - doesn't mean we can't have a nice garden - or a thriving little vegie patch. I am BOOM and doing it. If it flops, I will try other crops. That's my new green thumb mantra. And if those damn stinkbugs don't all die, I'll find something that will bump them off. That will be my life-long quest.

2. I am going to exercise. And not get too busy to do it. I was into it, then work got really ridiculously busy, and I am talking really ridiculously busy, so I felt more inclined to go home to be with my family than miss out on more time with them by exercising. Somehow, my friends, somehow, I expect to exercise at least four times a week. I am going to be fit and fabulous in 2014. Fit, fabulous and 14. I don't know how it's going to happen but even if I have to hypnotise myself, I am damn well doing it. Taser me if I don't. 

3. My sister told me she was reading more this year. So I am totally copying her. Unless there's some really crappy, crappy TV show that I need to live tweet, then I have to do that. But reading is where it's at. 

4. Meal planning. It's happening this year. Matt and I - we're both sick of multiple jaunts to the supermarket. Speaking of which - not buying supermarket brand anything. Those pricks can jam their own brands where they fit. I see what they're doing - screwing down the farmers. Not happening here. I'll buy brand names, and straight from farmers where possible. 

5. Listen to more music. Music makes me happy. I'm going to make it accessible and play more of my favourite albums. David Grey 'White Ladders' is coming back, and I'm not afraid to be out and proud. I love good music AND it makes me feel happier.

What are your resolutions? Share share share. Come on. Don't be shy. 

PS - What is this purple flower? If you know, please do tell! 

Ten Achievable Steps To Turning New Year's Resolutions into a Reality:: Vashti Whitfield

Like I said yesterday, I am sharing with you Vashti's inspirational tips for making your resolutions stick. 

In the past I've not made resolutions for the fact that two days later, I forget, or I lapse, or I just can't be bothered - so I ditched them. After reading Vashti's tips - it seems more realistic and achievable, and I think I can start 2013 a-fresh with some ideas on how to live a better, happier life. 

Over to Vashti:

It’s that time of year where way too much of the good stuff over the silly season has guilted us into making a series of New Year’s resolutions declaring that this, yes this, will be our year of big change.

This year I will dump my annoying boyfriend for someone more deserving of me; I will give up sugar, wheat, dairy, drinking, smoking and anything that doesn’t honour my body; I promise to actually use my gym membership more than twice and I will pay off all my debt and start investing wisely, as in no more shoes, Net A Porter ‘whoops, I just pressed buy’ moments and certainly no more leaving my credit card behind the bar!

The first step to actually turning this year around is to acknowledge the fact that if we are here, at the beginning of yet another New Year, with yet more of the same old resolutions, then clearly something in our approach is just NOT working.

It will take a little bit of time and a lot of thinking, but if you are really serious and 100 per cent willing to back yourself and really go for it this year, follow my top ten achievable steps to ensure that you get as much out of 2013 as you hoped for.

Step 1/

Create a list of all the key areas that make up your life from career, health and money to relationships, family and wellbeing. Don’t leave anything out.

Step 2/

Now give each area a mark out of ten in terms of how happy you are with that particular area, one being the absolute lowest and ten being super fantastic.

Step 3/

Go back over each area and ask yourself these questions. “What really got in the way of me making this happen last year?” and “How did I sabotage this for myself/what excuse did I have for not doing it last year?” Read back over what you have written and have a serious conversation with yourself as to whether you are finally willing to let the excuses go and start moving forward.

Step 4/

Take each area, one at a time, and write a couple of lines about how you would like it to look and feel a year from now. Be as detailed and specific as possible. Manifesting is a process that many avoid and yet done effectively can be the one constant that keeps you focused on your outcomes.

Step 5/

A year is a long time, so take each area and define four specific and measurable, time based goals to work towards. These need to be goals that really inspire you and that when achieved will have considerable impact on your life. Work backwards and create one year, six months, three months and one month goals for each area. Now commit these goals to your calendar.

Step 6/

Map out specific steps and actions, like when you will go the gym, when you will have done your tax return or handed in your notice etc. and then put them in your diary/calendar. Once you reach three months, be sure to acknowledge what you have achieved and then repeat the process to begin working towards your six month goal.

Step 7/

Schedule and commit to weekly reviews of where you are at with your goals and then structure what specific actions need to be completed that week and put them in your diary/calendar. Use lists, Post It notes, reminders and any resources needed to ensure you follow through on your commitments.

Step 8/

There is nothing like a weekly check in with someone that knows your plan and is willing to support you sticking to it. So look at how to create the support structures around you to help you stay on track, who and what would be good for this?

Step 9/

Write a letter to yourself, reminding yourself why achieving these goals and ultimately the specific changes in your life, will make such a difference. Be sure to acknowledge to yourself what will be hard about the process and list the excuses or situations you are likely to create to try and sabotage yourself, but equally, remind yourself that you know you can actually make all this happen this year and that when you look back on this time, in your future you will be incredibly proud that you finally made it all happen.

Step 10/

Last but not least, write a description of what your life will look like at the end of the year with all your goals achieved. Write it in present tense and with as much detail as possible. Now take this fabulous vision of how life will look and put it somewhere that you can see it everyday, knowing that if you don’t have a clear focus on where you want to be, you will end up in exactly the same place this time next year!

Note to self: You get one life, so make this the year that you really commit to yourself and go for it!

For more from Vashti Whitfield - and for even more inspirational tips - check out her blog 

Maybe McQueen. 

 images via Pink Wallpaper

Yo Mama! An Interview with Vashti Whitfield

A few months ago I read an article about an inspiring woman, and her equally inspiring husband - it was a beautiful story of love and devotion. It was one of those stories that stayed with me - it struck a real chord and I remember being profoundly affected.

This beautiful couple had two gorgeous small children; the beautiful wife, Vashti Whitfield enjoyed a successful career as a professional life coach/facilitator, and her handsome husband, Andy Whitfield, was hitting his stride with his own successful acting career.  

Fast-forward a couple of months - and I received an email asking if I'd be interested in having Vashti on my blog. Well - that's a no-brainer. Of course I'd love to have her on my blog. I was ecstatic!

Vashti is a woman you want on your side. I can imagine sitting with her and chatting into the wee hours about life, kids, parenting - whatever. She's a positive powerhouse and I can't wait to hear more from her in the coming months.  

I could think of no better way to launch into the New Year than with Vashti. Let's go!

PMM: Vashti - as a wife and as a mother, you've been through so much sadness - how do you keep refreshing yourself?

VW: I have always looked at life with a sense that there is just so much possibility out there. Whilst there have been, and still are, times that I feel extraordinarily challenged, I always come around to the fact that there is something wonderful to be had and shared and that is what inspires me and guides me to take and make my next move. I also make sure that I keep hitting my personal  'refresh' button, which often isn't until one of my wheels has fallen off, but I am learning to read the signs a little quicker. So along with being a mummy and the many aspects of my work, I absolutely make sure that I exercise, ride my motorbike, run with the wind in my hair, watch a movie by myself with Andy as my imaginary friend and anything that washes away the build up and pressures that the current chapter of my life and I place on myself.

After losing Andy, what made you keep moving forward? 

Losing Andy who was such a young, beautiful and open man, gave me this tremendous determination to be as creative, authentic and passionate as I could possibly be - as a woman, a mummy and someone capable that could use her force to make a difference however big or small. Losing him created this daily conversation with myself about being privileged enough to have my life and to be here now, and that I must make the most of that with every minute I have! This is what keeps me moving forward, along with the fact that I feel like he is always around and can see right through me when I am not following through or stepping up in the way he would expect of me. On top of all that, I have two little beautiful kids who no longer have their dad, which makes it even more important for me to keep moving forward and ensure their needs are met. There are ups and downs and both are honoured equally so as to ensure we all get the chance to process our grief.

You have two children - how do you manage the juggle of working mum?

I squeeze as much as possible in the time available to me. I invest in time for myself as I find I am not capable of being effective in my work or being a 'nice' mummy if I don't get the space to think. One of the tricky things about grief is that it can just creep up and take a hold of you, so making alone time is critical for me. I also have always worked for myself, which whilst it comes with great responsibility, also gives me the flexibility to manage my time and the motivation to create great work that supports my family and feeds my soul. The truth, however, is that sometimes I just want to buckle under the weight of it all and often finding myself taking many deep breaths after having to cancel clients to collect a sick child from school, knowing that I am the breadwinner and the one who will be up all night with them, trying hard to be clear and fresh faced the next day. But just like popping a baby out, in the moment you think "I can't do this" you find your real power and centre and from nowhere comes the stuff you are really made of.

What is your advice for turning New Year's Resolutions into a reality? I never stick by mine - so I don't make them anymore. Can you turn me around?

The issue with New Year’s Resolutions is that we generally declare them as a reaction to the things we didn't achieve last year that we feel we need to change. The reality is that we usually need to take a step back and address why we are in our current situation in the first place. The first step is to reflect on what structures exist in our lives that have stopped us or will stop us and then is the time to declare the realistic, inspiring and tangible goal like resolution that has some accountability, some strategy and a clear fail safe plan to bring it to life. The truth is a takes a bit of work and a whole lot of honesty, but once you can front up to that, anything is possible.

What's the best bit of your day?

I love the mornings. If I can rise before the kids, drink a delicious coffee, write for a while, ride my bike to the beach do a quick soft sand run and be home just as the kids are waking, my day is made! Paying a baby sitter for 90 minutes for me is worth every cent and then getting to make their brekkie, packed lunch and a quick play before school and everyone is happy!

Maybe McQueen seems to be a hub of honesty and inspiration. Grief can be exceptionally hard personally - do you find sharing with your community helps? 

I, to my own detriment sometimes, have always worn my heart on my sleeve. My need to verbalise my thoughts and feelings has always led me to share a little more openly than most, which certainly gives a platform for others to explore and share their own journeys. Grief is something that is usually incredibly private and yet until I began communicating about it, I felt completely suffocated by it. During my husband's illness we made a documentary about the journey and just as it was being interviewed for it, you resisted the idea of sharing your thoughts and feelings, but once you had let go of everything through talking about it, anything and everything seems possible, lighter and brighter. Sharing your own experience not only allows others to process their own lives but externalises thoughts and feelings that once let loose, become more about possibility and new beginnings than just a sad and finite ending. 

What's next for Vashti Whitfield?

Losing my beautiful friend and partner in crime has really taught me that time is of the essence and whilst being in the moment is key, creating and taking action towards the life you want is paramount. So for me 2013 is about turning my blog Maybe McQueen into a place that is to only a platform for cathartic sharing but more of hub for much, much more! There will be video blogs, books, master classes and a real marriage between my work, my passions and how I voice that out there in the world. There will also be the release of a documentary about Andy called ‘Be Here Now’ next year, so keep your eyes peeled for that. You never know, you may even see me hosting a bare all talk show in the USA if I manifest hard enough! Anything is possible.

Check out Vashti's blog - Maybe McQueen. 

Andy and Vashti have made a feature documentary 'Be Here Now' about Andy's journey. You can follow the progress and support the making of here.  

Tomorrow I'll share Vashti's Ten Achievable Steps to Turning New Year's Resolutions into a Reality.


This is the fourth interview in my Yo Mama! series. Interviews with creative working mamas. Look out for them weekly. 

The Resolution Revolution

What is it about a fresh New Year that inspires some to cast their wishes into the world and turn them into resolutions? Resolutions that are promptly forgotten and all they leave in their wake is guilt.

Guilt. Who needs it?

Not I.

But in the interests of a New Year, I'll start my own habit forming. All over again. Yes, yes, back in the habit. I need all the help I can get, and if it comes in the form of blogging about it to force some discipline and self-control, then that's what it takes.

* More quality time with my family

* Eat better - I'm low in iron and oh-so-tired

* Exercise more (this is going to be so achievable because when you do none, more is easy - the only way is UP!)

* Flossing - yes that old chestnut

Just to be clear, they're not resolutions, they're habits. PottyMouthMama doesn't do NY resolutions.

By the way, Happy New Year. I hope 2011 is Super Duper to the max.

image is of the world's prettiest wall calendar by Poppies for Grace - gosh I love you girls, so clever.

Happy New Year!

Tonight I'm planning on sitting on the couch watching a movie, reading a magazine, washing my hair, heading to bed early, enjoy some beauty sleep, waking up headache free, and yawning in 2011.

I am like the Ebenezer of NYE.

It's seven years since I met Matt tonight, with a bad fake French accent, making him cocktails - four fingers of vodka: one finger of juice. Then he refused to drink it.

Are you rocking out tonight peeps?

image - I can't remember, I'm sorry. If it's yours, tell me.

Papa, Can You Hear Me?

I really hate being disconnected from the internet. It makes me feel anxious. Even if I've got nothing to do, I hate the idea of not being able to switch on. So the past couple of days have seen me in cold sweats, and thinking about heading to the library to log on. Only thing is, the library was closed. More cold sweats, more heart palpitations.

I won't even venture as to how we came to be disconnected. Otherwise it might perpetuate more cold sweats and me turning cross-eyed.

I've been making radical changes here at Chez PMM. I went to Ikea (and braved the oodles of other shoppers) to revolutionise our kitchen with one of these. I put it together myself. Am I proud? Heck yes.

But just in case you've been wondering what my NY resolution will be? Well I'm not a big fan. I usually forget them by the next day. But this one is a keeper: do my pelvic floor exercises three times daily. Now folks, there's something you can not regret.

image via

Progress Report: Not To Be Sneezed At

Dear Diary,

So I continued on with my wonky little project to hand.

Dear Diary, I had to intermittently take breaks because for some unknown reason, I felt a lot of pressure with this stitchery.. I'm worried she'll think it's too wonky.

But besides some little hearts I want to add - and I mean little as in teeny tiny, I think it's done. Cute? Quaint? Will my friend know how I love her so?

What do you think Diary?

I'm starting another, and I hope to be a little more lucid with this one. I'm thinking of letting go of the uptight me, the one that's worrying, and just go forth and create. I hope this works dear Diary, because otherwise I may have to take stress leave from my embroidery.

Pimp Stitch always has some awesome ideas. Inspirations. Colours. Ideas.. Ahh I can tap that.

In other reports, I have three things that I am sending to Pip. In exchange, she's sending me three things. I hope she likes the three things I have carefully selected for her. I'm doing well with my decluttering. I've already taken two big boxes to the op shop, with plans for more next week. Monday - Post Office.

Anyway diary, I'm feeling weary. Must go brush my hair one hundred times, repaint my fingernails, apply my fake tan with one hand and stare longingly at my Rick Astley posters. A busy day.

xxx

A Giveaway-way-way: Step One On The Road To Recovery - Declutter

Look at me - my resolutions are flying in the wind like a flag. Am I a trailblazer of sorts? I don't even do resolutions. But here I am decluttering. I've already taken four boxes to the op shop. Go me! Truth be, this giveaway has been a long time in the making. There are a lot of things around my house that I think, hmm, that's not quite me, but you know I think Miss X might dig it. So here it is. My little pre-PottyMouthMama One Year Birthday.

Pip at Meet Me At Mikes kicked me off. I'm sending her some things. She's sending me some things. Together we're kicking a declutter of sorts. Dig it?

But this one, this one is for you dear reader. If you tell me the silliest thing you've hoarded, I'll tell you mine.

Oh darn it, I can't wait that long, I'll tell you one thing right now.

I kept a whole heap of dresses that I wore when I was 15/16, 'just in case' they came back in again. Thankfully my flatmate at the time held an intervention and forced me to throw them in the charity bin when I was 23. They were NEVER coming in again. I find it hard to get rid of fashion. Particularly my vintage loves. But you know, some things have to fly.

So tell me, wherever you are in the world, one of the silliest things you've hoarded ever. Entries close in around a week's time when I remember. Deal?

PS - the above is a selection of things.. but not truly indicative of what the winner will take. But I promise you, I will make it good!