I gave birth to our second child five weeks ago. Since that day I've been troubled. Not by the baby. No she's my sweetie, a dreamboat. My two babies make me radiate happiness even through a grey day. My trouble stems from her name.
Four months before we had our first child, we had a boy's name and a girl's name already selected. So when he arrived, it was a simple decision, we knew his name already - even if we didn't know whether we were awaiting a boy or girl, we'd carefully chosen one of each.
This time around we had so many names floating around, we had a very long list, but we hadn't fine tuned it yet. And because our little girl arrived unexpectedly a couple of weeks early, we still thought we had some time up our sleeves. So for a few days she was known as my nameless baby.
I then felt the excitement that new mothers feel. The headiness of hormones, the giddiness that this little babe in my arms was ours, she was healthy, safe and we were a happy family of four. My husband and I tossed up names, discarded names - he loves Scarlett, I used to - but no longer. I like Molly, I like Maisy - he's not that big on them.
Finally we settled on a name.. It was a name that wasn't really on our original list, but we both liked. I say liked because I don't ADORE it.
And before you incredulously screech the name back at me - let me jump in early.
It's an Old French name. It means 'to listen'. It's also the name of the protagonist in 'To Kill A Mockingbird'.
So you see my dilemma stems from the fact that we live in the deepest, darkest reaches of suburbia. Whenever someone enquires after our baby girl's name, and I tell them - they are shocked. Or feign interest. Then I fumble and try and justify the name. So does this set the scene for how our little Scout's life is going to be? Or does this put us in the category of bogan names? Heck I hope not.
I've deliberately held off registering her birth for fear we've labelled her with the wrong name.. But I can only do that for so long. We've got other names up our sleeves, but how do I know if this is the wrong name?
I don't like that people make the Boy Scouts association.
I don't like that people gawp when I announce her name.
I don't want her to grow up with a name that she loathes.
Some people sit on one side of the fence, others on the other side, and there's me, dangling my legs while sitting on the fence.
Should I put some names in a hat and draw them out? Or has Scout really become Scout after five weeks of being labelled by that name? We've flirted with calling her an alternate name for a day, but we kept forgetting and calling her Scout anyway.
Our two and a half year old seems to either think her name is Minxie (ha how wrong he is) or SCOUT (and that's always yelled with pleasure).
We've loaded her middle names with two very girlie alternatives, so I guess if she grows up and thinks - hey I'm not Scout - she can always change it.
After all - a rose by any other name would smell as sweet.