Saturday, 13 March 2010

Jean Genie

Today I went shopping for jeans. Sounds fun. Sounds exciting.
And it was.

Right up to the point when I walked in to the store and stood in front of the wall that housed all the different jeans. Skinnies. Super skinnies. Low slung skinnies. Zip-leg skinnies. Straight leg.

Since when did jeans get so darn... skinny?

I liked the relaxed cut of the boyfriend jean, but didn't rock them myself, they just didn't seem to suit me at the time.
I like Kate Moss' grey jeans, but can never find the right hue or cut.

And the last time I bought jeans was about two years ago, when I found my very favourite Wranglers that I have worn day in, day out, and are now on the cusp of becoming paper thin. My bottom is also in peril of popping out of said jeans, in a public place near you.

The assistant came over and asked me if I'd like help. Yes please. I'd like help understanding the difference between skinnies. Super skinnies. Low slung skinnies. Zip-leg skinnies. Straight leg. And where exactly were my beloved bootcuts? Not exactly cutting edge hardcore fashion, but my favourites nonetheless. They balance out my hips and proportion with a gentle persuasion of.. denim.

Then the assistant summed up with 'Oh I gave these jeans to my Mum and she really loved them.' Here was a 20-something girl trying to sell me jeans by telling me her mother liked them. Hey sister - wrong. Wrong. Wrong.

I may be a mother. I may have two children. I may be on the wrong side of my 20s. But I am not your mother. I do not strive to look - ACK - mumsie.

I tried on three pairs. That's all the enthusiasm I could muster for these achingly cool skinny cut jeans. It's all I had in me. I tried them on and pulled them back off double-time and folded them neatly to be returned to the assistant. Then I strode out of there.

Just because I am not a teenager does not mean I don't want cool jeans. If you prick us, do we not bleed?

If you tickle us do we not laugh? If you wedge us into spray on jeans do we not want to curl up die in the foetal position?

I might have been on the brink of a mid-life crisis right there in that shop. I stormed off from my little family, heading back to the car. Thankfully I got detoured and wound up in the next store and I found a woman who nurtured me, we chatted about kids, I tried on some jeans. I wasn't freaked out. I wasn't about to start rocking backwards and forwards. She got me a t-shirt that would work with said jeans. She made a sale, and also made me happy.
I might have been borderline crisis-lady but that lady saved me. She redeemed our shopping trip. I am not a huge fan of shopping, but when I need to buy something, it has to be done. Does shopping ever send you into a frenzy?
PS - Pic is of the original Jean Genie - David Bowie.


BuBbles said...

Oh gosh, I need a new pair of jeans and now I'm scared to go shopping! Heaven help my bootie when I do venture out...

Maggie May said...

a great pair of jeans is THE most essential piece of my wardrobe

BOB & MABEL said...

I hear you! The last pair of jeans I bought was one of the most traumatic experiences ever. I tried on about 20 pairs (not at all kidding) before I got the right ones. My body ain't swishing into those tiny little spray on numbers anymore.

Shine Little Light said...

I totally feel your pain and Im early 20's! Not everyone suits or even wants to suit the 'Im-wearing-jeans-or-are-they-tights?' look. God bless nice shopping sssistants.

Georgie Love said...

I have about 10 pairs of jeans, no joke. I only buy them from Dorothy Perkins in the UK - as they are about between 30 and 50 Aus dollars, I can predict how they will fit and the have all styles. Awesome.

flossy-p said...

hehehehehehe... you always cheer me up. Great post!

p.s. I would have slapped that little 20 year old!

flossy-p said...

HEY! HEY! Look what I found!!!!

sean the prawn said...

I detest buying jeans..can send me into a mega depression...sales assistants are way too young, shop mirrors way too nasty. when I find a pair I like i but a dozen

zofia said...

Luckily I have a little sis who sends me her cast-offs!

jo price said...

Just a wee warning to you all...I followed Flossy P's advise and checked out although thought that there was something I wasnt getting here...went back and checked - yikes always double check no good :(

Aether-art said...

I had exactly the same experience this weekend! Cannot believe the dominance of the skinny jean! It's like skinny jeans have been multiplying with other skinny jeans and now they're the master-race!

Hazel said...

I don't know what possessed me - after reading this post- I thought hey that reminds me I need jeans.
So I went into what used to be the shop I could get jeans from and damn it. Even if you don't try to buy skinny jeans I think they're all styled that way regardless of whether they're labelled bootcut. Geez it was horrid. I kept going up sizes but it made no difference. Besides that the denim seems to be all this cheap looking stuff- like workman's jeans. when I thanked the assistant and tried to leave, she tried one last sales pitch. A pair that was ripped in various (obviously meant to be stylish) places. I just looked at her blankly- and said "no thanks- I was hoping for something a bit more formal". Thinking to myself that's what my old jeans look like and why I'm in here!
Gave up and ran away. Hobart doesn't have many jean shopping options!