Tuesday, 9 March 2010

Tiny Troubles


If you think you had a bad day, spare a thought for weary old me. I fought a brave fight, but I might as well have been slaying dragons and conquering ticking crocodiles. Tiny got me again with smoke and mirrors. I trusted that small child of mine, and popped her in to bed, blindly, naively so. For ages she sang and sang, and my goodness, that girl continued to sing.

She sang her little heart out for over an hour. And that's when my brain finally twigged. I went into that small child of mine's bedroom to discover she had de-nappied herself. She'd damn well de-nappied herself and spread a distasteful spread through her bedding.

I quickly got her out of there. Macgyver would have been proud. I got her out of there quick smart, de-pooped her, deposited her on the couch with her big bro, stripped the bed, changed the bed (second time today) and put her back into bed.

She continued to sing. And then finally slept.

Damn me forgetting the fool-proof onesie. But it's not just any onesie. It's the crotch-popping onesie, because she can't pop it. Beware the sleep deprived, naive mamas of the world. Small children around the world are quietly removing their nappies, singing their sweet songs, and that is when trouble hits.
Photo above is totally unrelated, of Tiny pushing a tiny trolley at Bunnings. Thrills do come cheap in our family.

15 comments:

Mon Alisa Design said...

OH NO! The dreaded poo painting! I've been there too x

Sarah said...

Oh man...

Julia said...

Oh no. I so feel for you. I had exactly the same thing happen to me (several times) last year. A happy, singing child behind closed doors would make most mums happy. I was fooled too. Happy and singing for ages. I've linked to what I found (http://artefidelity.blogspot.com/2009/06/some-days-are-shtliterally.html). So I feel for you. I know how shit it literally is. x

Mama Mogantosh said...

That little one... she's got personality plus. It's the singing that gets me. My, what a fine old time she was having in there. Too, too funny. NOt so much for you, of sourse. But think of the stories you can tell her over a glass of wine when she's twenty-two.

I wish for you a tomorrow full of unpoppable onesies.

Knicky Knacks said...

Some would say she was just creatively expressing herself! It's not what came to my mind when my daughter did it! Mind you, she'd made little people out of hers, and given them names! Singing or silence is deadly.

Amy Paul said...

that's the shits.

literally.

I've got 2 down 1 to go without ever experiencing poo painting.

lucky you!
xx Amy

P.S. SJP most definately best dressed. LOURVED the hair dahling.

BuBbles said...

Lol, at least you can use tonight as material at Tiny's 18th!

I can laugh now but that's only because my BuBba is still to learn how to undo his nappies. I'm sure I won't be laughing when he learns :)

Leni and Rose said...

Ah, yes! We've had that same experience over here, last week in fact. It was the silence that I finally twigged onto!

Susan L (lily40au) said...

i had images of her denappied and poop spread from one end of bunnings to the other ... what a relief! aren't kids frightening? where does that evil come from? go with it ... i never had poop episodes with two but i had my share of months being so tired i wasn't sure what my name was and i sure can sympathise.

Laura Jane said...

Evil, EVIL child!!!

You have my sympathies. I was lucky enough never to have a poop painter. It boggles my tiny mind.

Tania said...

So thrilled am I that the imagery is wholly unrelated that I shall sit and reflect on what might have been for a minute.

(silence)

OK, this is NOT funny anymore. I mean, um, not for poor you. And Tiny won't find it funny on her 21st birthday either. Two onesies, I say. With magic superglued poppers. The kid does not move without the double popper onesie. It's your new mantra. cue: big mama hug (I mean the hug is big, not that we're big mamas).

teddybearswednesday said...

OH Lexi Oh no. xo

Hazel said...

oh dear. thank god puppies are not that creative! I have to say this is a perfect contraceptive for me!

Toni Brockliss said...

I think you can say "Tiny this is giving Mummy the sheets" and technically you are not swearing.

Gawd. :(

Did you also disarm a bomb and build a light plane from a toothpick and some chewies?

Suzy said...

Ugh, how horrible.

Do you reckon she's ready for potty training?
Mine became really fastidious about only pooing in the toilet within moments of wearing undies, but before then he was completely unfussed.

It's been 2 months now and I am still grateful for each and every pooey nappy I do not change.

In the meantime I hope the onesies remain unpoppable.