Wednesday, 11 April 2012

Neighbours. And I don't mean Kylie, Scott Michaelson or Madge

Do you have dodgy neighbours? For a while there, we had great neighbours. We had a bunch of IT guys that lived down the back of our house and we barely heard a peep from them. Our neighbours on another side are a young couple renovating the cutest weatherboard cottage you've ever seen. And then on the other side are some people that always have their blinds closed, and I only ever see their dogs out the back when I hang the washing out. 

Life was good. Life was simple. Life was quiet.

Until the IT guys moved out, and we had this bunch of junior burgers move in who drive up and down, up and down the driveway. Blast out their music starting at 11:30pm. Have a spot of biffo at 3:30am outside the front of their house - which coincidentally is right outside our bedroom window. Not so rad. 

And then the young couple with the ever-so-cute weatherboard invited us in for dinner one night. A good night was had by all. A few months later they asked us if we wanted them to trim their huge - beautiful - oak tree that leans over our driveway. We said yes! Yes please. The possums get in there, along with the bats, and they have one big pooping and weeing party all over our car. So they said, yes, yes we will do that. And then nothing. And then two days after Christmas one of the branches - actually two - fell on our car and gave it three big pock marks on the roof.

We let them know. They said they were waiting to trim the tree because it was too expensive to have the tree trimmed - it was $600. We got a quote to fix our car - it was $600. And then they started to avoid us. Like the black plague. 

Now they're not talking to us. As soon as they see us drive in, they go inside their house. And since the tree branch falling on the car thing happened, we have to park on the street. 

Totes awkes. 

And now the flipping across-the-road neighbours are parking right outside the front of our house, which - as we all know, is the holy grail of car parks and in a highly sought after parking situation, that park belongs to the correlating tenant. RIGHT? Isn't it some unsaid thing? But no. Not for them. It's like they're staking us out in their big white Tarago. 

I'm thinking about moving into this pink caravan that I spotted while we were away. At least I could move it every time someone got too close. 


Hazel said...

Oh pmm that sucks. But our neighbours at the block have nearly all caused us as much grief, asking for $50,000 for an easement, dirt bike riding for HOURS, random surveying on our land, with pegs plonked in the middle of our block, painfully refusing to sign a note for our fire management plan, complaining that our outdoor lights are affecting their star gazing. So I'm not sure if that's any consolation, but neighbours can be a pain in the behind even with 9 acres of space.

Liza said...

we moved from 60's style suburbia where no one had garages and was forced to speak to each other as they came and went, complete with a Madge type neighbourhood stickeybeak, to modern living with drive in garages so everyone drives in and never sees let alone speaks to each other. Our newest neighbours came to say hi and presented me with a $5k water bill that we 'owed half of'. Needless to say I refused and they haven't spoken to us since. Meh, the otherside are lovely. Opposite is a family of teenagers and trouble is brewing!

Caspalovelee said...

Whilst reading this I am listening to my obnoxious neighbour laugh like a hyena. There's one in every apartment block. Why? What could be that funny?

I feel your pain with poor neighbours, stolen car parks and awkwardness. I've just learnt to plaster a massive smile on my face as I walk around my apartment block, avoid eye contact, and to yell from my balcony with all lights turn off in a voice with a strange accent so no one knows it's me telling them to shut it.

Fsn said...

I feel your pain! We live in a terrace and when my bf bought the house years ago he actually paid EXTRA for another parking space at the front. Doesn't seem to stop next door parking on it though claiming it's a 'shared space'. Bf gladly showed them the deeds. Now they rent it out - but surprise surprise - didn't tell the tenants it's ours! Joy!

Yvette @ Delightfully Tacky said...

ooooooh! dodgey neighbours!!!

We have great neighbours across the road (who coincidently own the house behind us) and their son and his mates reside in it.. when their music gets too loud.... their dad comes down the driveway and tells them to shut up!! Its fabulous!! :) Neighbour to the side is old and never hear a peep - neighbour on other side yells at their kids alot in french.. enough said.

Sarah said...

Well I hope my neighbours do nt say the same abuot me! We are loud. Teenagers and tantrum toddler!!!

we are lucky. Have had worse neighbours. AT least now it is probably the best we will ever get.

Tahnee said...

lexi, I was laughing just at the title of this post! and laughing in a I-feel-your-pain-kinda-way. it doesn't matter what house we buy, we seem to end up with dodgy neighbours. and they are not dodgy neighbourhoods! currently we are surrounded, both sides and at the back. the only great ones are across the street. it's alway something! x

Norbyah said...

oh god, i could write a post about the dodgy neighbours i've had in the past. seriously, like creepy lock the door and turn off the lights like we're not home and maybe they'll go away, to totally stickybeak watching what we're doing inside. but, i have to say, your situation really sucks. hope it gets resolved. and for the across the street neighbours parking in your spot. how awful!

toni said...

In our old abode the off his tits psycho neighbor from hell used to run up the street at night shouting "I'm going to f#%kin kill you!" to the air. Imagine waking from a deep slumber at 3am hearing that.
We have had dirt bikes, screaming neighbors, a little kid with serious constipation troubles (their toilet was next to our outdoor area), a crime stoppers offender selling stolen car engines in his backyard, and a couple going through a separation who came over to vent one night and ended up telling us about her husbands leather fetish and stayed for 3 hours and ruined our salmon fillets.
Now we live in the hills. So far so good. The lady next door has lots of visitors and burns a light under the house 24/7 but she's an acre away and to me, after the past, it's like another country.
Thinking on you Lex and hoping you can have a spot of serenity one day.

Rachel K said...

I have lived next to many unpleasant neighbours. While at uni I lived in a unit next to a middle aged man. Only a brick wall separated my bedroom fom his. The wall needed to be double bricked because every time he would get intimate with his girlfriend I could hear every noise she made. She was a loud moaner, hence her name became Mona. It was just yuck being woken up at night hearing her moans and we all knew when she was having the big O. Same thing happened a few years back. We moved into a house where our neighbour's house was really close to ours. We could hear the wife outside in the street, she was that loud.On a Christmas morning we had to delay opening the presents as we always record our son opening his gifts. The noise coming from our neighbour's bedroom could be heard all through our house and that's the last thing we wanted to record on our Chritmas dvd.

Our new house came with a bunch of bogans over the back fence. We met them because their feral dog had dug its way under our back fence to crap in our yard. The owner didn't offer to clean up the mess and we had to barricade the fence as he was too lazy. Their dogs bark all through the night and they leave outside lights on for the dogs all night which lights up our bedrooms. And then there's the partying which starts at midnight and usually goes into the wee hours of the morning.

Rowantree Design said...

I live next door to a tree hugger. There Large gum tree branch hanging over our fence. Sailor asks them to trim the branch. Flat no! Roberta removing pool toys before the heaven's open, branch cracks, the noise so loud I stood stunned, branch comes crashing down on me, knocks me out and I fall in pool........Sailor wonders where I have gone.....opens a sits beside pool and barks like crazy.....Sailor comes outside and notices pool gate open, finds me, pulls me out of the pool, calls ambulance........Why, did this have to happen? Two weeks of my life spent in hospital......Neighbours have finally decided to sell! Yes, I am so happy that i dont have to look at them anymore.
PS. I met one of your very lovely friends at CR Bondi Junction. We had such a lovely chat. X Roberta

::The Beetle Shack:: said...

eww how very awkward. My husbands unk lives in NZ and had the same parking situation (neighbours parking in 'his' spot). He got out a tin of paint and painted a very convincing 'NO STOPPING' sign right there, in his spot. Then he continued to park there in peace.... untill he got a PARKING FINE!!! ahahahaha

you should try it potty moth. it'd be ace


mama bear said...

I HATE nasty neighbors. You know what the old bitch upstairs did now? She planted a rose bush where Rosie's ball always rolls in the garden – so she can scratch herself when she goes to get it. I suggested ripping it out and sticking it up her hmph, Chris said a polite but firm note might be better.

Let me know if you have a spare caravan! x

Loz and Dinny said...

We share a wall with a totally excellent neighbour. She's and artist and occasionally her friends and her have bohemian-like gatherings and play the piano and it wafts into our house all dreamy-nice like. I don't ever want her to move ... and she wants us to stay too (though screaming smalls vs piano doesn't seem a fair trade, non?). Our other neighbours build garages up on our fence line and dare us to call them on it. I am developing an irrational dislike for them and want to graffiti all their fucking 'fairies live here' signs in their garden ... instead I smile and say hi!

Luna said...

Oh I hear you! We have neighbours with those dirt bikes... in a suburban family street?! Across from our son's room is an older couple who play their TV loudly from 1am. Teenagers who walk up and down our corner property on their mobile phones! Um, what's wrong with the footpath infront of their house? Dunno.

Anonymous said...

don't get me started on neighbours, we have angels on one side and devils on the other and the neighbour at the back middle are just that...inbetween!