Thursday, 3 May 2012

Spin Cycle

A couple of months ago I did a spin class with one of my friends. 

It was at the very height of my exercise binge, and I couldn't wait to hit the pedals and cycle my gluteus maximus into greatness. 

We went after work, got changed with the heady scent of sweat and fitness lingering in the changerooms, and headed into the spin room. 

The walls were painted in black, with neon lighting - remember that from blue light discos? So the lint on my lycra was illuminated. I ain't no Cadel Evans, sisters. 

It was when the instructor came up to me, and commenced adjusting my seat, and then told me that if I couldn't keep up, I should just keep riding, but don't stop, I started to feel the first pangs of fear. 

Then the lights were dimmed and the music (bad music) was cranked up and the disco lights came on. Then I got really worried.

Nevertheless, I forged ahead. I was a warrior. I was like Lance Armstrong meets Fame. 

We started riding. And riding. And riding. After a long period the instructor told us that the warm up was over. There I was thinking the class must be finished. Enough of the pedals. And enough of the damn bike seat. 

The class went on for forty five arduous minutes. The most arduous thing, besides cranking up the dial on the bike, was the bike seat. Cruel beast that it was. 

Why does no one ever talk about that discomfort? 
I felt like John Wayne after a three week horseride. That bike seat bites.

I got home, inspected my property and vowed to never return to spin. 
And I haven't. 

After consulting the interwebz, it turns out us ladies can inflict a lot of damage on our lady parts due to a fraction too much friction from those no-good bike seats. 

The next day the gals at work asked how the class went. I told them it was more painful than childbirth. You know when the baby crowns. Yes. That bit.

I'm not going to beat around the bush. No. I'm talking about what lies beneath the bush. That bike seat hurt. And I'm never going back. Ever. 

Why didn't anyone ever tell me about the cruel beast that is the bike seat? You and me, we need to talk. 

(This article on SMH brought these memories back, bubbling to the surface. That cruel wench of a bike seat.)

image via Somewhere in Seoul


Lucinda said...

Agree! I also went once in a moment of insanity, I couldn't wait til we had to ride standing up.. I walked gingerly for days and have never been again, vowing I would rather birth quads! And I'm a horse rider- gimme that any day!

MissBrown said...

I just blogged about my new bike last week. She's real pretty but that seat is a bitch.

Jaclyn said...

loved this. I was bruised for weeks, why didn't anyone tell me?

Sally said...

You can buy a padded bike seat cover from K-mart for around $15. There are bike pants with padding in the arse too which can help, as can wearing a sanitary pad for comfort.
I used to love spin. One of my favourite classes ever. I haven't been since the early days of my pregnancy with bub #3. He is eight months old now... time to get back to the gym me thinks.

Lady Moss said...

I. Hate. Spin. Once was far more than enough.

candice said...

**whispers** I love spin. Agree a padded seat is a worthwhile investment. So is asking the instructor to show you how to sit and stand in the right 'space'. I think I could even see myself teaching spin classes. Maybe.

helena said...

If the frame isn't locked to the tire a thief could remove the front tire and get away with your bike.

kids bike

Lin said...

oh gosh this is so true. I did one cycle class, about 6 months after giving birth to my second child. I lasted about 15 minutes and couldn't sit down properly for 6 months! I put it down to not being fully recovered from childbirth, but sounds like it was that dang seat. I really damaged my tailbone. It throbs just thinking of it! Haven't been back... I'll stick to running!

Bec said...

Oh that was a funny read brought back some memories

Luna said...

At least you gave it a go. Now I know what my sister was complaining about a few months ago.