On School Uniforms

Who was the brainiac that decided: yep, a white shirt is the way to go for 5 year olds for school uniform? Which parent doesn't want to wash and iron white shirts?

I'll show you a parent that does not wish to soak, then resoak, wash and iron white shirts for a 5 AND an 8 year old. 

It's me. 

I've got both hands waving madly in the air.

Who thought white shirts were a great idea? I would really love to meet them. And hit them in the face with a wet fish. 

These white shirts give me such grief. It's a never-ending cycle, wear the shirt, soak the shirt, wash the shirt, iron the shirt. Uniform people, I have better things to do - but the problem is, I never get to them because I am having a relationship with these shirts. A relationship I never wanted. 

My children, not particularly dirty little creatures, come home each afternoon with a coating of dirt around their cuffs. A splatter here and there of school-time detritus, and I score too long spent in the laundry trying to bring back the white school shirt.

Honestly. Why didn't they choose something practical?

A Deeply Disturbing and Probing Investigation Into The Bread Bin

image via pinterest

It's true. Yes it is. 

I've been thinking about the humble bread bin - and what role it takes in our home. 

Because right now, our humble bread bin - is in fact, lying dormant. Neglected save for a few crumbs and a bread tie. 

Actually, that's a lie. Our bread bin is being used. As a bread shelf. Inside it might be empty, a vacuous space where you *could* store your yeasty goods. On the outside, ours is stacked with bread, bread rolls, five cookbooks and a box of Earl Grey tea. 

You look horrified. What kind of a bread bin am I running over here? 

I know, right?!

As part of my incredibly probing investigation, I cast the questions out to my Facebook and Twitter friends - do you have a bread bin? And if so, do you use it? 

In my years of being a proud owner of a bread bin (almost eight), I've discovered that rather than the bin playing gracious host to the bread - instead I forget the contents, and months later discover a plastic sack of velvety green stench-iness. Marie Curie I am not, but I'm sure we could bottle this and sell it back to our local pharmacist. 

Unsurprisingly, I had very few responses wound up getting quite a few responses. Actually I am surprised by this. Shocked even. But really, all I was after was quality. I was hardly ever going to ever get a sample of 1000: 

Exhibit A: This is weird - I was only thinking about a bread bin today, thinking should we get one as the bread is always on show! X

Exhibit B: Yep. It's filled with paperwork.

Exhibit C: Have one, don't use it. But I did when I was baking bread

Exhibit D: yes... and no.

Exhibit E: Yes, a Freedom one actually. Only had it for six months and I love it!

Exhibit F: Yep, I use mine.

Exhibit G: I have a bread tin but it has traditionally been used for storing cat litter. I haven't quite got over the fact that I don't have a cat any more.

Exhibit H: Yes, filled with half open packets of random biscuits, crisps etc which I totally forget about as they're hidden. Has never contained bread.

Exhibit I: ours was the unofficial 'third drawer' where school reports, old watches, red pens and overdue bills went to die #breadbin

Exhibit J: our bread bin is filled with chargers.

Exhibit K: My mum used one every day of my childhood. But she was a Virgo so that may explain a lot of things.

Exhibit L: used to but didn't use. Bread never lasts long enough to be put away now

Exhibit M: We've got one and use it - agree w above that it can make the bread go off quicker but we eat it pretty fast 

I could go on with more prime examples, probably right through the whole alphabet, but I'm calling it (even if the figures don't reflect the same - who says surveys have to be accurate?!). 

The bread bin, my friends, seems to be in the decline. Nearing extinction.  And I'm not alone! WAHOOO! 

Unless of course you decide to utilise your bread bin for other purposes, such as: 

- bread shelf

- filing bills

- cat litter

- stale biscuits and crisps

- chargers

- school reports, old watches, red pens and overdue bills

- or bread, if you're a Virgo

In which case - the bread bin is on the rise - buy a bread bin straight away, do not pass GO, do not collect $200. Just grab the bread bin and run. 

But friends, for now, my probing investigation is here to deliver you the very disturbing news: not many people use a bread bin for its intended use. And for me, it's just taking up room on my bench. 

And Then The Washing Machine Died

A few months ago our fridge started doing something alarming. Quite literally. In the middle of the night it would start wigging out and beeping. Incessantly. It got to such a point, after repeat performances, at 2am I would stagger out of bed, bump into walls, and turn it off at the power.

In the morning I'd defrost it, and sure enough, the ice would start ice-ing as soon as I averted eye contact. I'd be in for another night of the freaking beeps.

It's here that I must also point out - I was the only one the beeping would wake. Everyone else continued to sleep soundly. But not me. For me the beep was too much.

After a number of weeks of this, I declared we needed to buy a new fridge. Clearly it was on its way out.

I'm not a huge white-goods purchasing fiend, but I went and bought one and we have a new fridge.

It was mid-Winter last year that our dryer decided to not play nicely anymore. Clearly we have some Winter timing issues.

Just yesterday I was churning through my Saturday washing pile ie Mt Everest in clothes, when the washing machine made a loud bang as I was walking away. I went back, looked at it. Dead. It flipped the fuse. It wouldn't give me any power. Dead.

The good news is I was right in the middle of washing the Doctor's school uniforms. The better news? I can't find any local laundromats. What happened to all the laundromats?

Thankfully my sister let me toss a few loads in her machine last night.

What's with the whitegoods giving up the ghost? And what ever happened to whitegoods that lasted the distance. My parents still have the fridge they had before I was even thought of. Still going strong - and surprisingly energy efficient.

Looks like I need to find some funds for a new machine or I'm going to be hand-washing a la Little House on the Prairie. Michael Landon would be so proud.

The image, is of course someone grenading a washing machine.