Getting School Ready (sp)

Faber Castell Single Hole Pencil Sharpener: keep them en pointe this year!
Document Wallet Printed (A4): perfect for notes and readers
Staedtler Norris Club Coloured Pencils: get them colouring within the lines (or outside!)
Studymate MegaMonster Premium Scrapbook: make lunches more exciting by keeping a scrapbook

I can barely believe the school holidays are almost over. Gasp! I love school holidays, it's relaxed. There's no school lunches, no morning rush, no fossicking through the laundry searching for clean uniforms. It's living the dream. Ha! Particularly when I am on holidays from work too. 

But these holidays I've decided to use the time to get a bit organised. When the kids got sent home last week of term with a list of stationery requirements for the year ahead - I sighed. It felt like forever away. But fast-forward and we're just a few weeks off being back in the grind, so together with Officeworks, I'm sharing my top tips on how to get your child school-ready. 

1. Talk about it: Don't go into the cone of silence, talk about school. Talk about what it's going to be like (particularly if they haven't started school), talk about teachers, about friends, maybe even talk about playground politics (because heck, we have SO been there). We talk about the year that has been - and what a big year it was - recognise this, and then talk about all the opportunities that lie ahead. Communicating allays fears and helps their growing minds. 

2. Involve them: When you're getting prepped for school - you might just want to knock it all over by yourself (we all know that's quicker), but by involving your child, you can make them feel like the captain of their school-ship. I let my kids have input into things like lunch boxes, school shoes (but they have to be fitted properly), and a couple of key rings on a school bag helps them feel like they're personalising their kit!

3. Sleep isn't for the weak: While I could sleep for the week, my kids love to stay up late in the holidays, and they love to get up early too. Sigh. A couple of weeks before school goes back, start that nice routine again so that they are getting enough rest. I also wind down activities in this period too so they're not so tired from running about everywhere. We stay home and have quiet days, playing board games and soaking up the together-ness. Children love routine, and love to know what's happening next, so if you can set this up early, it should help to make things easier.

4. Cut corners: I'm not usually one for cutting corners, but if you can outsource something. Outsource it. Officeworks has a free School List Service that allows you to submit your list at your local store - and their team members will pick and pack on your behalf for free. They'll even call or SMS you when it's ready to collect. 

5. Start a scrapbook: School lunches get so. darn. boring. Start a scrapbook with lunch ideas so you're never stuck for fresh, nutritious ideas. (I love this Studymate MegaMonster scrapbook for just 88cents!)

Officeworks has also just launched a new app for growing minds - suitable for both primary and secondary students, that's fun and educational. Check it out! 

It would be remiss not to mention Officeworks support for The Smith Family's Back to School Appeal - aimed at helping 638,000 disadvantaged Australian children succeed at school. You can buy a donation stationery card in store, or go online and help provide a child with their school needs. 

Are you ready to get back to school? 

On School Uniforms

Who was the brainiac that decided: yep, a white shirt is the way to go for 5 year olds for school uniform? Which parent doesn't want to wash and iron white shirts?

I'll show you a parent that does not wish to soak, then resoak, wash and iron white shirts for a 5 AND an 8 year old. 

It's me. 

I've got both hands waving madly in the air.

Who thought white shirts were a great idea? I would really love to meet them. And hit them in the face with a wet fish. 

These white shirts give me such grief. It's a never-ending cycle, wear the shirt, soak the shirt, wash the shirt, iron the shirt. Uniform people, I have better things to do - but the problem is, I never get to them because I am having a relationship with these shirts. A relationship I never wanted. 

My children, not particularly dirty little creatures, come home each afternoon with a coating of dirt around their cuffs. A splatter here and there of school-time detritus, and I score too long spent in the laundry trying to bring back the white school shirt.

Honestly. Why didn't they choose something practical?

I Did Reading Groups. It Was Good.

Due to work, I've never been to volunteer to do stuff at school. It kind of sucks because I know my smalls would love to see me in the canteen - and nothing would warm the cockles, even the sub-cockles, of my heart more than seeing their smiley little faces and giving all of their friends ice creams.

However this year, the tides have turned, and I was delighted (not exaggerating) so discover that Tiny's class had reading groups on my day off. Never has the school received a note so quickly from me, signed with my time and my availability. Boom! I am in!

Except last week I forgot I had committed to reading groups. The teacher came up to me in the playground to remind me that I was doing reading groups - and my face fell. To the ground. On the asphalt. I have the memory of a colander. With added drill holes.

I had pre-arranged to go sniff my friend's newborn. Nothing. NOTHING. Not anything was getting in the way of me sniffing in that newborn's sweet milkiness. Not even reading groups. I had been daydreaming about that wee babe for weeks. It was just hours from being a reality: me drinking in that newborn smell - I sound like such a creep - but I just love them. (NB: Matt, I really, really want another baby. Our family is not complete. And NO! A cat or dog will not fill the void. And PS we're not even allowed to have a cat or dog due to our charming landlord - THANK YOU OVERLORD).

Generously the teacher said I could start this week. I have to tell you, I was a bit nervous, never having being involved in reading groups.

And so it is, I found myself ecstatic to be sitting in a cosy classroom with about 23 small people, a few other mums and one teacher.

Tiny was overjoyed and clinging to my leg. Sidling over to me when she was meant to be at her teacher's attention. Blowing me kisses. She always slays me, that cuddly girl of mine.

I got the rundown on what to do - and away we went! Reading about... chairs! I work in furniture retail - there's only so much furniture chat one can do. Thankfully the books are short.

And then our group got in trouble for being too rowdy! Scandal!

Between you and I - I was delighted our little group had some joie de vivre! Better than being a group of wet fish talking about chairs!

It was SO fun - not dancing on tables fun (not that I've done that in about 10 years), but heartwarming fun. I am wholeheartedly so excited to be able to sit in with Tiny's class and do reading groups with them.

After school, to celebrate life (and reading groups) we went to the cafe for a round of caramel milkshakes and hot chips. Living large. Yep. That's me. Coyote Ugly stylie. 

Tiny At School

I realised I hadn't shared an update on Tiny and school when I received an email asking how she was going. 

I think we're six weeks in (?) and it's better. Definitely better than those first couple of weeks.

Tiny actually told Matt that she LOVES school and had had her best ever day earlier this week.

We have our ups and downs, and there's a bit of confusion when she comes out mid-week in normal clothes, and we have to let her know it's a school day, but she's cool. 

She's still shy, but she's warming up. 

We do readers every afternoon during the week, which, let's be honest, can be a bit of a drag, but when it comes down to it, it takes just a few minutes - and it's helping her. I can see her growing in confidence, and starting to blossom. 

It's easier on the heart now, much easier. 


image: Original 1957 Press Photo 2x2 Negative Lincoln School Bubble Gum Blowing

Tiny's First Day of School

Tiny was so freaking excited about starting Kindergarten. She was pumped. 

She rose early in the morning, got dressed, we brushed her hair to get the world's biggest knot out, did cute pigtails, packed morning tea and lunch, and then off we went. 

She was so excited she ran the length of the block to the school gate. 

Once we passed the school gate, a look of worry clouded her little face. I could see the nerves kick in, and I felt them too. I spotted some familiar faces and quickly pointed them out to her. Immediately the tension dissipated and she relaxed a little.

We walked hand in hand to her classroom (which was the Doctor's Kindy classroom) and despite the crowd of parents, found a spot at a table. The girl sitting next to her was playing and we discovered her name was Lily - Tiny's favourite name. I started chatting to her mum and the girls played, cautiously. Tiny spotted someone from daycare - and then declared: "You can go now."

De javu. I think this happened when the Doctor started school. 

So I left, after standing at the classroom door and spying on Tiny for a wee while. I didn't want to leave my wee Tiny. It hurt my heart. Finally I walked down the stairs and off into the playground where I ran into a friend, broke down - and told her not to talk to me and not to be nice to me.

I chatted a bit with some other mums, and then left the playground for the day.

In the afternoon I arrived early, got the world's best park (there's a lot of world's best here, right?), and mentally prepared myself for seeing my tiny Tiny walk out for the first time. I gathered with the other parents, and out they came - schoolbags bigger than their bodies, hats covering their faces rendering them unrecognisable unless you crouched down really low. 

I could see Tiny's shoulders. Slumped. She looked down. Once the bell rang, and she spotted me, she lit up, but only temporarily. We held hands, collected the Doctor and then she said: "This didn't turn out how I expected it."

We talked a bit and she concluded that her teacher had been cranky at the class because some children had gone missing. We talked about it a bit, I told her the first day is always the hardest and that I hoped the second day was better for her. She was so depleted. Poor Tiny.  

After devoutly wearing her school uniform all holidays, I had hopes Kindy would be amazing for her. She'd be a duck to water. 

I know it's early days, but I feel sad for my babe. Why was that teacher cranky? Why on the first day of 13 years of school? 

Second day of school and Tiny told me "it was better, but not much". 

Whoa. First Day. Year Two. Whirlwind Alert.

What happened to me? 

Happily blogging one minute - all quiet on the Western Front the next. 

Tiny starts school tomorrow. In equal parts (maybe) I'm happy because she is SO flipping excited, and then struck by grief that my babe is growing up all too quickly. I remember the day she was born. How did we get to first day jitters already? 

On her first birthday she commando crawled through the grass at the park to get her mitts (and teeny tiny new baby teeth) into a juicy nectarine. She was so full of glee. And this is how Tiny is. Keen for the next adventure.

Over the weekend she climbed into my wardrobe - which is no mean feat, it's a mess and it's small, and there's quite a bit crammed in there. I asked her to get out to no avail. Then I told her to get out, to which she replied bluntly "Mum, you're always trying to ruin my adventures."

So tomorrow will be another big adventure with tissues in hand. For me. Not for her.

And then there is the Doctor. BOOM! Straight into year two without so much as a look back. He's happy, he's confident, and in some way - this is how we want our kids. Independent. But my goodness, it definitely hurts. 

Are your smalls starting school this year? How's it going?

PS - Have you seen Moonrise Kingdom? You should. It's SUPER GREAT. Wes Anderson. SUPER GREAT!

We're A Black School Shoe Down

We are back in the throes of school life. Back, arms flailing, struggling for breath, amidst the white sea ponies, the flurry of water, gasping for breath, we're back. Dramatic? Moi? Of course I am.

But that's how it feels. Out of my control, a disconnect because I'm at work - and yet -  we're cast back to the frenzy and almost Draconian routine that school life entails. 

It makes me sad to my stomach just thinking about it.

So the Doctor started Year Two today, and Tiny, well she's beside herself excited - next week she starts Kindergarten and she can barely contain her excitement. It's beyond cute, and so *almost* contagious. That girl is thrilled to be amidst all the learning. She was a little disappointed not to be starting today. 

But it's good news that she's not starting today. Why? Well not just to drag out my sadness and guilt, but because we're a black shoe down. 

Last week she got her shoes fitted. This week we can only find one shoe. This is going to be interesting.

Matt and I have both turned her room completely upside down searching for that lone, lurking Mary-Jane - to no avail. 

It's no surprise we can't find it. Her room is an overwhelming mess. Piles and piles of clothes, Lego for me to tread on at midnight, and dolls clothes. Not to mention the leaning tower of books. And the pencils tipped out on her bed. 

I overheard Tiny proclaim to her cousin during the holidays - when asked why her room was such a mess: "Because I like it that way!"

Let's hope that lone shoe turns up in the next few days. Otherwise she's going to be Hopalong Cassidy meets Tiny the Pegleg. 

image  - Walk to School 1954 by Willy Ronis

School Shoe Shopping

This is a sponsored post

Nothing beats a well fitted pair of shoes. I can testify to this - I have an unusually narrow and long foot, so much so, that when I buy shoes, people question whether I really am a 12. For the record, I am. And when it was time to get fitted for back-to-school shoes, every year it saw my parents talking me to Clarks to get the best fitting shoes. I wore them almost every day of my school life. 

My Mum always taught us that it's better to invest in good quality, well fitted shoes, and it's something that's always stuck with me. It makes sense, doesn't it? Your feet carry the weight of your body, and have the power to make you feel great if your comfortable, or downright cranky if they're not fitted correctly. 

Last week the Doctor and Tiny visited Clarks to get fitted for their new sparkly school shoes. Tiny loves hers so much she wore hers home. 

Clarks gave me the opportunity to interview Brenden Brown, a practicing podiatrist and spokesperson for the Australian Podiatry Council - who filled me in on why well-fitted shoes make a sound investment for small feet (and any feet for that matter). 

PMM: Why is it important to get school shoes fitted?

Brenden Brown: Research from the Clarks back-to-school 2012 report revealed that at any point in time, 41% of Australian children are wearing the wrong size school shoes, contributing to issues such as childhood obesity, clumsiness and back pain.

The average Australian school child spends 82 days of the 200-day school year in ill-fitting
shoes. With over 3.5 million school children in Australia, podiatrists estimate that our kids
are spending 2.3 billion hours in the wrong size school shoes each year.

Blisters, flat feet and cramped toes are not the only consequences of narrow or
unsupportive shoes with more than 3 in 5 surveyed podiatrists stating children who wear
the wrong size shoes are less active at school (from feeing uncoordinated / having sore
feet), and 38% believing ill-fitting shoes contribute towards childhood obesity.

I wore Clark's throughout my school career - Kindy to Year 12. What's
changed since then? (Since that was *gulp* almost 15 years ago.)

BB: Shoes are now designed for both comfort and support. We’re now aware of what’s
required for our children’s school shoes, and they’re designed around the anatomy of the
foot. An example of this would be the fact our feet aren't designed to bend in the middle,
which is why Clarks school shoes are rigid through the middle of the sole, whilst flexible at the toe, allowing the shoe to move with a child's foot

I heard it's a good idea to 'break in' your school shoes before school starts. Why is that?

BB: We all want the first day back at school to be as trouble free as possible, so giving your kids a chance to break their shoes in beforehand will make sure their growing feet are completely comfortable in their new shoes from day one.

Velcro vs laces. What’s your verdict?

BB: I would always recommend laces if possible, they cradle your children’s feet and allow the school shoe to move and work with the foot. Laces are a good indicator of how well your child’s shoes fit. Clarks has an expert fitting process, called the 10-step Check and one of the stages includes checking that the lacing gap on your child’s shoes should be no wider than the width of you finger (approx.15mm) for a good width fitting. Velcro is a good alternative for children who are unable to fasten their laces.

Is there any good news for people with narrow or wide feet?

BB: Yes, Clarks is your answer! Clarks offers 18 styles, 184 sizes and 6 different width fittings. Recommended by more than nine out of ten (92%) podiatrists for a child with healthy feet, Clarks has trained fitters around the country dedicated to helping you find the perfect fit.

Any tips on how to teach my seven-year-old son how to tie his laces?

BB: Clarks has a great and colourful ‘Learn to Lace’ card which you can pick-up for free instore. The age-old bunny ear technique has worked well with my daughters too.

Any extra tips for back-to-school shopping?

BB: I would recommend that you do it when the children are tired, so that they’re more likely to sit still when being fitted. I would also do it when they’re starting to get a little hungry, so that you can give them a little fun snack to keep them preoccupied during the fitting.

About Clarks 10 Step Check:

Clarks has trained fitters around the country offering advice on the following 10-step expert fitting process:

1) Heel Grip: with the child seated, pull firmly to ensure no heel slip;
2) Width: with the child standing, make sure the shoe shape suits the foot shape.
Feel for excess pressure on the little toe;
3) Depth: make sure there is enough depth. Remember that too many creases
equal too much depth;
4) Length: make sure the child is standing correctly. Feel for the longest toe. There
should be approx. 15mm growing room (the width of your thumb);
5) Arch: make sure the shoe cradles the arch;
6) Toplines: the ankle bone must be clear of the topline. This may not be
necessary if the topline is padded. Make sure the shoe fits neatly against the foot;
7) Back: the shoe must fit snugly around the heel;
8) Instep Bars: ensure enough holes for adjustment or velcro must grip firmly;
9) Walking: the age-old walking test around the shoe store is still a valid method
for reviewing the shoe’s fit If you know what you’re looking for, check to see how
well your child’s walking, if they feel comfortable and make sure there’s no heel
slip;
10) Laces: when fastened correctly, the lacing gap on your child’s shoes should be no wider than the width of you finger (approx.15mm)

Are your smalls ready to head back to school? Are you?

Getting Ready For School:: 11 Tips

Tiny is starting school this year. My little Tiny starts Kindergarten in just over a week. 

Oh how it hits me with a mixture of feelings. I know I am going to feel the eight bar blues when my little girl walks through the gates, and even moreso when I have to turn and leave her there. Unbearable. I know. I'm a complete sap. 

But joyfully, Tiny is so beside-herself-happy that she's been wearing her school uniform most days - and embraces anything to do with starting school. Sneaker shopping? Yes please! New lunchbox? Awesome. It's pretty darn endearing to see her so excited. 

I've been thinking about things I did to make the start of school transition for the Doctor a little easier. It's a big change going from the cloistered and loving environment of preschool, to the oversized playground of primary school. 

Below I've created a little list of things that helped us when the Doctor started school - maybe they might help you and your little people too?

• Velcro. Velcro. Velcro. As much as I detest velcro, I learnt to embrace velcro. It saves the stress of learning to tie shoelaces. And - on a gross front, shoelaces - when in the bathrooms, can get wet with wee. No teacher - nor any child - wants to touch wee-sodden shoelaces. Plus, teachers tend not to want to tie shoelaces these days. Funny that. 

• Wear in the lunchbox. We have those Tupperware lunch boxes - but the clips on them are quite stiff if they're brand new. As our preschool teacher once told us, when you're sitting in front of the TV, open and close that sucker to make it easier to open. And then get your child to see if they can open it. If they can't - job well done. If they can't - keep going. Teachers are scarce in the playground. If they can't open the lunchbox, there's a good chance they won't get any lunch.

• Don't pack too much. There's something in us mums that means we turn into that crazy woman that thinks our child is going to starve at school. They're not. And they won't. Do not put too much food in your child's lunchbox - for two reasons. 
• Generally there's an eat before play rule, but if you pack so much in that lunchbox, your kid is going to be sitting on the bench trying to wolf down that massive picnic you packed - before they can get a chance to play. Which means not only less downtime, it means less time being able to play with their new school mates. 
• If you pack too much - chances are, it will also start to come home. In tact. And destined for the bin. Keep things simple - and it's a good idea to pack something you know they like. There's nothing like food for comfort.
  
• Spare undies. Spare socks. If your little person has an accident at school - there's a good chance the school will have spare uniforms to wear (if you can pack a spare uniform, sweet. If not, don't stress.). However - who wants to wear random communal undies? No one. And if you wet your pants, there's a high probability that your socks will be wet too. Pack some spares for the first term at least.

• Tissues. Call me crazy, but the toilets sometimes run out of toilet paper. To you, your little Kindergarten kid might be big and independent, but at school - it's daunting - and who do you call out to when there's no toilet paper? I packed tissues into the Doctor's pockets just-in-case. Trust me. 

• Send a ball. Or a skipping rope. In the first few weeks, it's tough. Your child might not know anyone, it's hard to remember names - and the playground is biiiiig. It's hard to find your friends, so if you pack a ball - like a rubber handball - they have something to play with, and chances are, other kids will want in on the sweet handball action (or skipping rope). 

• Don't ask about the day as soon as you get in the car. Don't even think about it. Those little Kindy kids are so zonked, so, so zonked, and it's hard to remember what you did during that buzz of the first day, week, month. I know you want to know what happened, but be patient, let them have some downtime, then ask specific questions - like "Did you go to the library today?"

• No extra-curricular. Like I said, those little people are so worn out by the new routine, new faces, new names - by the time they get to 3pm - they are 100% exhausted. Minimise stress and simplify things by cutting down on extra-curricular activities. It will make everyone's life easier. 

• Bathrooms: Ensure your small knows where the bathrooms are. Very important! Show them which toilet to use, what sign to look for. And also prep them on what to do if the toilet cubicle is in a state of disarray (check the other cubicles if they are free, particularly if you have a girl and there's wee on the seat). 

• Drop Off and Pick Up: Try to make sure you're not too rushed in the morning so you have a few minutes in the playground before bell time, and make sure you tell your child where you will meet them. Kindergarten teachers generally have to wait with their class until each of the parents turn up, so try and arrive before the bell rings to keep everyone happy and stress free. 

• Pack Your Own Tissues: You might just need them.

PS - The 'Starting School' book by Janet and John Ahlberg is pretty good. Reading about school if helpful too, your local library might have some titles that are worth checking out.

Have you got any getting ready for school tips to share? 

How To Not Cry At The School Concert: 6 Tips

It's that time of the year when we celebrate the milestones of our children with end of year concerts, presentations and all the malarky that comes with Christmas. If you're like me, sometimes your eyes get drippy - it's a little documented fact that once those maternal hormones start churning - your eyes drip. A lot. And I - at your service, have come up with a way to thwart those pesky drips. 

1. Be Anna Wintour: You know how Anna wears sunglasses, like, everywhere. Well why can't you? Go into the classroom with your oversized Von Zippers (oh - maybe they're Chanel?) - no one needs to know your eyeballs are sweating. Do they? Nope. You're sitting front row at the end of year concert and the pollen goes - bOOM - smack bang into your eye? Sunglasses will stop that pollen from even getting close to your cornea. Your little cherub receives an award and your eyes starting that tell-tale tingling? Make like you're a celebrimummy and don a pair of oversized sunnies and not only stop your eyes from melting - but look like a complete kooky snob. Who knew reading the concert program could be so, er, difficult wearing sunglasses?

2. Bite the inside of your mouth - or your tongue: Did you know that if you bite the interior of your mouth - it is associated with distracting your eyes from become pools of water? Try it. I do. Often. This tip will serve you well in school concerts to come. 

3. Go cross-eyed: Try crying and being cross-eyed at the same time. You just can not do that. And then add a mirror into it - yes go on, just slip that compact mirror out and have a wee peek at how silly you look. See. Look who's not crying now. 

4. Look Upwards: What? I'm not crying! The sun's in my eyes. Ok it may not work indoors, but worth a shot outside. Oh ouch - something just flew into my eye. There's another tip I threw in as a freebie. 

5. Laugh: Pump up the volume on those endorphins and laugh. Or smile. Whatever floats your little boat. 

6. Pinch Yourself. Hard: Have you ever tried this? Nope probably not, because I am probably the only one that's afflicted with lactating eyeballs. But if you ever find yourself in that sitch - then pinch yourself. And hard. No. Not that hard. Just enough so that the pain distracts you. 

But of course, my favourite is number one. Mainly because I want to sing this to any mums that turn up wearing sunglasses in the school hall. 

There-ends my tutorial on how not to cry at the school concert. Early next year I'll be hosting a how-to not cry at the school gate as our little babes head off to Kindergarten. That's right. I'm going to be the one sobbing in the car afterwards. But not at the gate!

Tying Laces. And Other Stuff

We are currently drowning under a pile of Year 1 homework.


When I was in Year 1 we didn't have homework. Well certainly not to this extent. (And when I was a girl Paddle Pops were 60 cents, and I walked home by myself.) This week we have a daily reader, homework books, Mathletics, and a talk on rhinos to do. Fo' realz. 


Amidst all this, we're teaching the Doctor how to tie his shoelaces. You can pooh pooh me all you like - and say we are late bloomers to this, but I am not one to push, and we do things at our own speed, when we are good and ready. 


On the weekend I found this video that I thought was a cute way to teach your kid how to tie their shoelaces. 

Ordinary people must be saying: "But PMM, why do you need a video?" Well a couple of years ago I discovered that I don't tie my shoelaces correctly, I have some funky way of tying them, and it's not completely successful. It still serves me well, but I thought I'll relearn with the Doctor so we can learn together.


So I am now learning to tie my laces too. 

Life As A Funeral Director

Back when I was 15 - at school we had to do 'Careers' as a subject. We had a teacher who had the world's biggest combover, wore short sleeve shirts and wreaked of BO. Not terribly inspirational.


As part of this course we had to answer a questionnaire on the computer, which would then tally up your likes, dislikes, favourite colour, favourite food and personal disposition, and spit out what it thought you should be.


Sounds exciting, doesn't it?


So that computer spat out my results. What it thought I should be when I grew up.


A funeral director.


My 15 year old brain imploded.

And then I left it there.

I continued school, studying anything I could that would move me away from becoming a funeral director. Visual arts. Drama. Modern history. English. No biology.

So it must have been three years later, towards the end of year twelve, when school leavers are preparing to hit the real world, and I was working out which degree I wanted to apply for. 

We had a different careers advisor by this time (phew) - and I shared my dream to tread the boards, and become an actress.

Her response: "You'll never make any money."

My 18 year old brain imploded.

Way to take my dreams, hold them up to the light, then throw them to the ground and stomp on them. Repeatedly. Way to go.

So I ditched the idea of going to NIDA.

I completely ditched it. Those dreams were dashed, and I've never really reconsidered it. Those poorly chosen words just kept ringing in my ears.
Instead the careers advisor told me I should pursue something like public relations.

And I did. I went to uni, attended one class of public relations theory, left that class and thought "I can't sit through that" - and enrolled in Writing instead. But worked in PR the whole way through my degree. I got the best of both worlds.

But lately I've been thinking of being a funeral director and how life would have been so different. It takes a gentle art to be a funeral director I think.

Have you ever had a mid-life crisis/career change?

image via: Daily Mail

A Big Week At Chez PottyMouth

Well, well, well.

It's been a big week around our neck of the woods.

The Doctor started back at school. Exciting. Scared. Nervous. Poor little guy was so nervous on the day, he couldn't eat much for breakfast, so we just chatted about why he was nervous; what was going to happen at school (we could only guess); and how he knew lots already about school - and he'd be back with his friends.

This week he is KO'ed and hitting the hay early every night.

Golly gosh he makes my heart swell.

And the other big news for the Doctor...
He lost one of his top front teeth on Tuesday - and the Tooth Fairy came overnight. Mega cute attacks.

Tiny is at a new preschool and loving it. I have such a good feeling about the preschool, and can't wait 'til I get to go and pick her up again, because I just quite like being there! Maybe I should study early childhood, then I could go there more often. 

And the good news here: Tiny is hitting the hay early too - which is amazeballs because like I've said before, that girl has STAMINA, with a capital S. 

How's your week going? School? Packing lunches? You ok? 

Gareth Malone: Art of Teaching

Did you watch Gareth Malone's Extraodinary School for Boys on ABC1 last night? If not, you totes missed out. He is amazing. Catch it on iView if you can - it's a brilliant prgram. Particularly if you have boys.

Stuff

It's the pointy end of the year and it's really starting to hurt.

I ran around all weekend, and on my day off, I think I spent more time in the car than anywhere else. And I've still got shopping to do.

My body even aches!

But onwards I go - and so do you friends, because that's what we do.

Tiny celebrates her fourth birthday on Friday and I can barely believe it's been four years since that little mermaid swam into the world. Probably time for another baby. Matt. Hear that??

The Doctor had his school presentation tonight, and received a citizenship award. Of course I got teary. I was already teary when the Kindy + Year One choir sand 'True Colours'. The Doctor's award tipped me over the edge. Proud.

Did I tell you I shrunk in the wash? Yep. And I dyed my hair red. Hawt or what?

I don't really have much else to report on.

Oh - and yet I do. We got our Christmas tree on the weekend. I spent Saturday afternoon decorating it, a bit baffled the smalls weren't interested in helping, but I kept on humming away with the dazzle and sparkle. That night, after it was looking perfect, the damn thing fell over. Yes. You can only imagine my glee. So I went and bought a proper Christmas tree holder thing. This is an investment my friends, but worth it. The tree is - VERTICAL! Be amazed. Be astounded.

Have you decorated?

Christmas Gift Ideas: Teachers

A few peeps asked for ideas for teachers, so I put together a list of ideas with a bit of a budget in mind - because that's the way it is in my house. Hope you find some inspiration ladies to say thank you to some of the most influential people in your children's lives. Teachers.

Give the teacher an apple. Probably the coolest post-it notes ever - Collection of Cool $6.50

One of my ideas this year was a potted geranium in these Gigi pots for our beautiful Kindergarten teacher - Freedom $19.95

When all breaks out in the classroom, remind your teacher to Keep Calm and Carry On - Lark $15.95 (for 4)

I don't think you can beat Lavender Hand cream - L'Occitane $9.95

Fog Linen Work 100% linen pouch - Mr Kitly $19.95

 A beautiful Angel candle - Queen B $19.95

Cute and quirky little nest sparrow - Papier d'Amour $15

Gift your teacher a bright oversized tea cup and they'll be the coolest in the staff room - T2 $28

I'm borrowing this idea from Heather. Cool limited edition tea towel - Salvation Jane $19

If you liked it then you shoulda put a pom pom on it. Man, do I like this cush? YES! - Castle velvet cushion $49

Olivina Honeysuckle Rose Hand & Body Wash 500ml - Saison $22.95 (sale)

What do you think? Straight As? Go to the head of the class? Gold star to PMM? Do tell.

Thanks to Baby Mac for setting me on the straight and narrow.

Here's A Good Reason To Say No To Bullying

Bribery & Parenting 101

I've taken to bribing the smalls to do mundane everyday things that they're just not that into.

1. Like brushing teeth. A couple of weeks ago I introduced "The Toothbrushing Time Trials" in preparation for "The Toothbrushing Olympics". The smalls don't know that they are the only competitors - and quite frankly, they don't need to know. But heck. This idea works a charm. I get Matt's iPhone, prep the stopwatch and BOOM! Two minutes of teeth brushing bliss for both of them. No wrangling with Tiny. No whinging. No lightweight brushing.

Gold star to mama.

2. In the interests of keeping the peace, Matt has decided to keep the smalls bathing separately. But I can't be bothered waiting for two rounds of bath-times, so I've been bribing them to get into the bath with a squirt each of this Imperial Leather Foamburst. Have you seen this? It's lush! Like washing myself with rich shaving cream, well that's the consistency. And the smalls - it gets them every time! Boom! Straight into the bath.

Gold star to mama.

3. When the smalls aren't asking for food, I feed them. A snack bowl full of celery, grape tomatoes, carrot sticks, whatever's on hand. Those smalls don't see me coming. Sneaking vegetables into them. Making them less fractious before dinner time. I swoop in there like a secret vegetable avenger.

Gold star to mama.

4. The Doctor came home from school upset. He needed some coaxing, but finally told me that someone had punched him in the tummy. Again. And that because I had drawn a love heart on his yoghurt, half the class laughed at him and made fun of him - and the poor little dude, he cried. The worst thing? I've always put hearts on his lunchbox - because I LOVE him - and that morning, I had thought, hmm, maybe I shouldn't. Then I thought - shucks, he's in Kindergarten. He's six. It's ok! It's love! Wrong mama. Wrong. So I wrote a little note to his teacher to let her know. He came home triumphant. Everyone in the class HAD to come to school with hearts and love notes from their parents in their lunchboxes. How cute is that? And the puncher. He got reprimanded very swiftly. School is the HARD YARDS!

Gold stars all 'round.

And here ends my bribery & parenting and ranting 101.

Image is Tiny looking scary.

The Art Of Bullying

I've written previously about the bullying. About the Doctor's first year, first term even, and being bullied. About the angst it brings. That feeling, as a parent, of feeling helpless, of guilt, of wanting to stand up for your small child. And the anger.

I'm lucky that the Doctor's teacher is so amazing, and as soon as I've mentioned it, she's stepped in, found the next appropriate moves - and made them.

It was only on Sunday, when we were enjoying the sunshine that the Doctor sidled up to me and told me he had something to tell me. But that he wouldn't say it in front of his Daddy or Tiny.

I neatly tried to angle away from Matt and Tiny. Tiny threw an almighty tantrum and screamed, but I had to segue so I could chat with him. He rarely comes out with these things, and I know that when he comes to me, I need to tread carefully because he withdraws further and I have to work harder and harder to get the information that he tentatively wants to share with me.

And so it was that he told me that a boy in his class, in fact a guest at his birthday party, had orchestrated a 'team' to team up against the Doctor. One kid kicked him in the face. And that another kid in another Kindergarten class punched him in the stomach whenever he sees him. "It doesn't happen as often anymore, but everytime he sees me, he does it. He punches me." Then it all made sense.

It was then that I realised why the bad moods, the feistiness, the very things I put down to being a six year old boy. The morning ritual of telling me he felt sick. I bought it because he has been sick. He's had a cough. He's had month long colds. But man I wish I had seen this coming. Because that sickness he described in his tummy? Anxiety. Butterflies. That sick feeling when you're dreading something, translated by a six year old as being sick.

No wonder he's never really told me he loved school. I expected him to fall in love with school. I was a big nerd at school (heck, still am!), and loved it. I've been waiting for him to fall in love with it. But it's not there yet. He loves reading, and writing, and the joy he gets when he can sound out a word - thrilling. This learning to read ride is a giddy, awe-inspiring ride, and education can never be undervalued. But he doesn't love it, just yet at least.

And when I think about bullying being part of the Kindergarten culture - well it makes me wonder what's going on in these kids homes to think that HEY THAT'S OK! How are their parents going to react when the teacher tells them what their little five or six year old has been up to? What happens?

So I'm sharing this story, in the hope that if your child is being bullied, maybe our story will help you. Or maybe your child is the bully - and maybe this story will help you too, because it's not ok.

Bullying in any shape or form is not ok. Never. Ever.

image totally unrelated. Me sitting in woeful traffic.

It's Almost That Time

Tiny had her first day at preschool this week. Actually it was only three hours to be precise. She loved it. And so did we, because for the first time in a long time she went to bed at 6pm and stayed in bed until 6:30am the next morning.

Hello preschool. Where have you been for the last year?

And then the following days? A struggle to get her to bed.

The Doctor starts school next week. I'm an emotional wreck. Up and down. He on the other hand, a cool customer.

Anyway, have you seen Tangled? I haven't. But the kids and Matt have. Word on the street was it was great.