Monday, 18 August 2008

An Amendment to My 'Secret' - And I Use That Term VERY Loosely


Recently I outed my 'secret' to the Universe. It was an attempt to find a house for us to move to.

Apparently my 'secret' needs to be more specific.

Apparently I need to give the Universe more guidelines. Apparently I was a little vague when I put it out there. So here I am. Here's my amended 'secret'.
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Dear Universe,

I know I said I wasn't too fussy with the house we moved into. Well I didn't mean it. I am fussy, but for good reason.

I know last time I did mention Kramer peeling vegetables in his shower, however, I didn't think you'd elaborate on that, and bring me to a house with a kitchen sink in the main bedroom. While I do enjoy cooking, I think cooking and sleep are two very separate activities. Just as drinking and driving are two separate activities. They should never be mixed. I'm not really a whipped cream and chocolate sauce kind of gal. So you know, that house wasn't entirely enticing for us.
I'd also like to say that I am not that into houses that are so randomly constructed that I might need a map to get around. The dark room in the house I refer to was great (not that we'd ever really use it), the compost was great, the space was cool, but the vegie patch was my favourite part - which doesn't really say much for the house, right?

So Universe, I know you probably thought you had creative reign when I was so vague - but now I am going to be a bit more upfront. A bit more brash. I'll tell you what I want - can you direct me to this place of my wildest dreams?

- floorboards are preferable, if we have to have carpet can it please be new?
- gas cooking is preferable
- a bathroom with a bathtub is preferable
- bedrooms larger than a shoebox are preferable
- no mould, no rising damp, no damp spots on the ceilings/walls etc
- a nice fenced flat backyard with a Hills Hoist in a SUNNY spot (I hate clothes lines in the shade - who does that??)
- storage is always looked upon favourably
- and as before a big tree to hang a swing in
- a shed for Matt to paint in
- lots of light
- quiet, safe area close to trains, parks and schools

This looks nice, but probably too large - I'm not such a big fan of cleaning.

Anyway Universe, I'll let you get to the nitty gritty of the details (hey, just to fine tune my request, no rodent/bug problems either, ok?) - thanks in advance.

Your friend,

PottyMouthMama