Monday, 18 August 2008

An Amendment to My 'Secret' - And I Use That Term VERY Loosely


Recently I outed my 'secret' to the Universe. It was an attempt to find a house for us to move to.

Apparently my 'secret' needs to be more specific.

Apparently I need to give the Universe more guidelines. Apparently I was a little vague when I put it out there. So here I am. Here's my amended 'secret'.
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Dear Universe,

I know I said I wasn't too fussy with the house we moved into. Well I didn't mean it. I am fussy, but for good reason.

I know last time I did mention Kramer peeling vegetables in his shower, however, I didn't think you'd elaborate on that, and bring me to a house with a kitchen sink in the main bedroom. While I do enjoy cooking, I think cooking and sleep are two very separate activities. Just as drinking and driving are two separate activities. They should never be mixed. I'm not really a whipped cream and chocolate sauce kind of gal. So you know, that house wasn't entirely enticing for us.
I'd also like to say that I am not that into houses that are so randomly constructed that I might need a map to get around. The dark room in the house I refer to was great (not that we'd ever really use it), the compost was great, the space was cool, but the vegie patch was my favourite part - which doesn't really say much for the house, right?

So Universe, I know you probably thought you had creative reign when I was so vague - but now I am going to be a bit more upfront. A bit more brash. I'll tell you what I want - can you direct me to this place of my wildest dreams?

- floorboards are preferable, if we have to have carpet can it please be new?
- gas cooking is preferable
- a bathroom with a bathtub is preferable
- bedrooms larger than a shoebox are preferable
- no mould, no rising damp, no damp spots on the ceilings/walls etc
- a nice fenced flat backyard with a Hills Hoist in a SUNNY spot (I hate clothes lines in the shade - who does that??)
- storage is always looked upon favourably
- and as before a big tree to hang a swing in
- a shed for Matt to paint in
- lots of light
- quiet, safe area close to trains, parks and schools

This looks nice, but probably too large - I'm not such a big fan of cleaning.

Anyway Universe, I'll let you get to the nitty gritty of the details (hey, just to fine tune my request, no rodent/bug problems either, ok?) - thanks in advance.

Your friend,

PottyMouthMama

7 comments:

Amanda said...

Boo and I would help you clean that very unique home you pictured but only if we get a couple of rooms in one of the turrets!

Hope the universe brings you the house of your dreams! Now i think about it I might just ask the universerve for a couple of things....

Georgie Love said...

Ugh, house hunting is a horrible and draining task! The hope you feel when you turn up to a place and then the let down when you discover that they think it's ok to show you a place that hasn't been cleaned since 1984. Yuck.

Good Luck! Here's to the Universe providing (in abundance!) :-)

jodi said...

We asked the universe and she provided. We even got a rainforest-esque view and outdoor shower. Cheap rent and maintained gardens. And landlords that bake for us. I believe that when you stop stressing about it and let it be the perfect house is always found.

CurlyPops said...

I'm sending positive vibes your way.....househunting really sucks.. whoops I mean househunting is fabulous...think positive!

The Lil Bee said...

You are hysterical! Gotta put it out there!

nan said...

Dear, darling Lexi, am not really coherent due to the late hour but I'm hearing you on the personal housing crisis issue. If you scroll back through my blog entries from last year you'll see that I feel your pain, although I must say I haven't come across the kitchen accoutrements in the bedroom before. Oh, if only the walls could speak!

Also just wanted to say that I haven't forgotten the fact that I owe you a delicious parcel. Hope you don't mind but I'm outta time before the trip so I'll send it when I get back in late September.
In the meantime stay well.
xx Nan

skinnyGLASSESgirl said...

HA! I'd like a place that doesnt fill with dust every hour on end. I think I have to vacum like 20 times a week. I'm giving up! OH and it'd be nice to have a neighbor who doesnt wake me up from loud sex every other night... ;oP