Thursday, 17 September 2009

When Creme de la Mer Just Won't Do

Here at PMM HQ we have yet another round of ace tips that have come from our editor-in-chief Tiny Superstar. You may remember that she helpfully doled out some very handy style tips, well this time around it's all about beauty. If you're looking to bop the recession on its head and looking for ways to pretty-up on a shoestring, Tiny Superstar has the answers.

Tip Number 1: If served yoghurt, why bother eating it? Healthy digestion is over-rated. Smear it all over your alabaster skin and let it soak in. It's best if you also go crazy so no one can get near you with a face washer to wipe it off. Just so it gets sticky. It works better that way.

Tip Number 2: If you're served pear, just keep sticking your finger into the soft flesh. This is an age-old cuticle treatment. Again, definitely don't eat it, you wouldn't want to waste that fruit on your digestion. Would you?

Tip Number 3: Every single morning, without fail, go into your Mama's bedroom find her very much loved organic lip balm, stick your finger in it and smear it all over your body. Do this every morning and you will definitely shine (who cares if it's from all the olive oil you can perhaps batter some fish on your skin later - remember the recession folks!).
Tip Number 4: You are what you eat. So if you're at the beach or in the sand pit, do eat a little sand. It's nutritionally sound and besides that it's gritty on the tooth - and any chance you can to have a crack at whitening your own teeth, take it. Sea salt and pearly whites - perfect.
Tip Number 5: Don't ever brush your hair. Enjoy the big-hair-day look. Then everyone can tell your Mama that she should be brushing your hair more often. But if she comes within 5ft of you with a hairbrush, go berko, flat cat, scratch at her, and then run away. Works a treat. Who needs a hair stylist and who can afford them? Mother Nature is best.
And there ends today's beauty tips a la Tiny. Feel free to email any questions to Tiny. She'll do her best to bang out an answer on the keyboard).


Loz and Dinny said...

Oh this makes her even more edible - too cute!

Leah1517 said...

Dear Tiny,

I hear fishing used tea bags out of the bin and putting them under your eyes is good for under the eye dark circles, maybe you could try this out and let me know what you think? I'm sure your Mama wont mind you fishing through the bin..


Tania said...

Oh PMM, today I am so feeling your pain (ours was a strawberry, yoghurt and oats cleansing scrub).

tea with lucy said...

She's been trading notes with The Little One.

(I'm crying / laughing because you might as well be describing life at my house lately.)

Cindy said...

Poppy so loves to chew on the sand too while sprouting "don't chew sand". I so don't get it. She is also anti the hair brush and they both go with the rustled bed hair - it is still in fashion - yes? We skip the yoghurt regime though and much prefer Nana's top-o-line face creams because a lady does have to look her best. It is important to not have any shine while you are rolling all over the floor.

Aussie-waffler said...

Dear Tiny,

My cousin liked to dip his apples in the sand at the beach, seems he preferred them extra crunchy. He is now an actor with really, really white teeth so I would like to firmly support tip no.4.

Mama Waffler.

Kirsty said...

PMM - you have made me laugh so much with this post - love it!

peppermintpatcher said...

Psst - Tiny, I don't ever brush my hair either. sssssshhhhhhhh, don't tell anyone, not even your mummy. I will not join you in a pear and yoghurt lunch though...