Wednesday, 28 July 2010

You Want Me To Vote? Gimme A Coat.





I've made an executive decision today. Friends, you will like it. Trust me (because this is standard dialogue for a politician). I will kiss babies. Lots of babies. I will even give them raspberries on their milk-filled little tummies. And *smile* for the camera.

I've decided to go into politics. I'm going to run for election.

My policies I hear you ask?

Steadfast. Rock-solid. Watertight.

I have one most excellent and truly ace policy.

All mums should be issued with a trench coat, or at the very least a cool raincoat.

It's pouring here AGAIN - and I hate running about with two smalls when it's raining. I have to strap two littlies into the car and stand out in the rain while doing so.

When I gave birth, instead of a Bounty Bag I should have been handed a Burberry trench. I'd look stylish and stay dry. I'd settle for Aquascutum too. Or Stella McCartney.
We'll be like the Australian Olympic team. You get to choose a standard issue item that's classically styled - except we'll be cool, we won't be wearing Green & Gold, and we won't be throwing big sticks or jumping over high sticks. Or alternatively we could make our own Mama Olympics - the 100m dash in stilettos (or ugg boots). I am open to suggestions.

In fact, before writhing around with contractions, you should be given a small card - you nominate your trench.
You like my policy? Easy. You vote me in. PottyMouthMama for PM.

Are you going to vote for the coat?
(Anyone who does not vote for the coat will be issued with one of these. Tough choices ladiez!)

14 comments:

LionessLady said...

Just last week I bought a lovely navy blue trench from, of all place, Target! Better than that, it was only $35!

gret said...

YES PLEASE! Why has no one thought of this sooner! You are a true genius, and therefore totally have my vote.

Toni Brockliss said...

I don't own a trench so I would vote for you! I want one that makes me look like 99.
xxx

Monique said...

Can I vote twice? Yes and yes. And I'd like the raspberry please.

flossy-p said...

teehehehehe. Well, I'm not wearing one of those sweaty plastic poncho's that's for sure. So I'd better be votin' YES.

Little Pinwheel said...

lol... I am so not going to be seen in that blue number. So I had no choice but to vote! Also I like your policies. I kind of need a jacket right now though. Not long until the mad dash to pick up the little one and I have no doubt I am going to get wet. I have gumboots, but no trench.

when is the election?

teddybearswednesday said...

What about the non mums?
Don't we count?
Neverthess I would still vote for you xo

Shine Little Light* said...

Im not even a mum and I'll vote for you out of the current choices :p
*s*

Liesl said...

I'm casting a donkey vote - that is, for a stylish donkey brown trench.

Frankie Small said...

You defiantly have my vote, and i'll take the red one!!!

Cath @ chunkychooky said...

A new raincoat of sorts would be fab but I don't like coats with a belt, however I will vote for you because the other options are as crap as the blue plastic thingy...

Loz and Dinny said...

I'll work in your campaign office, for nothing ... if I can have all three - Hot!

Nat Kringoudis said...

You have my vote! Standard issue Burberry in Bounty Bags yes please!

ecobabe said...

I bought a coat AND Ugg boots yesterday. I am so sick of this winter. A lovely Marcs military wool coat (to keep me drier and warmer than my trench could) and gorgeous knee high black Ugg boots for the home. I totally agree, 2 kids, carseats, rain = sucksarse