Wednesday, 8 September 2010

Autopsy Of A Vacuum Cleaner


Do you ever have to autopsy your vacuum cleaner? I find more and more, that I am donning the dust mask and gloves, grabbing a scalpel, and trawling through its innards.
It's not pretty people. Not only is it stuffed full of dust, it has lots of hair (gag) and random objects. It's like running the gauntlet of dust disease.

I love CSI. But I do not love my own version of the autopsy. Emptying the vacuum bag is not high on my love-list. Actually it doesn't even rate. It's not glamorous. It's not even vaguely fun. It's just disgusting. The only reason I do it is because I seem to vacuum up every stray piece of Lego that belongs to a set, and then I have to retrieve it.
I love vacuuming. It's the only piece of housework I love. I do it with gay abandon. I love vacuuming so much that I have written about my love for it several times before on PMM. Need some expensive counselling?

My FIL has observed me before, rummaging through this dense gunk - and asked why I don't do it over a bin (as it is, I lay out a piece of newspaper and go through it with a fine tooth comb, or my fingers, whichever comes to hand first. Ok it's my fingers - but they are gloved!). Clearly he doesn't see the need for the autopsy, and maybe thinks that I do this sort of thing for kicks. It's cheap. It's not fun. But it's cheap. Could that make that a fun kick? Er, no.
Please tell me I'm not the only housewife performing the slightly unorthodox vacuum bag autopsy. Tell me you're doing it too. Even if you're lying.
image from i don't know where. eep!

14 comments:

trash said...

Oh yeah. I do it too.






























I'm lying.

Michelle said...

Lexi, I do not do it. But I know of others that do. You are not alone.

ps Good luck with the new job!

xx


pps - just read trash's response, very funny!

Nell said...

Oh yeah sister, i've done that before! I once hoovered up my favourite necklace and was determined to retrieve it...the hair is so the worst part. I wonder how I have any hair left with the amount that finds its way into the hoover! G-ross. x
ps. good luck from me too with the job. You'll be rockin', no doubt!

nicole said...

Depends on what I vacuumed up ;-) Socks I retrieve, Legos, not so much... But then I do tell my kids when I'm thinking about vacuuming so they can pick up their prized possessions ahead of time.
What can I say, I' a mean mum.

Samantha said...

ahhhh, I vacuumed the car last week and up went my jawbone headset. Then it got stuck in the walls of the house in the vacuum system, then I ripped up my hands pulling apart the barrel. I got it back. It wasn't fun. You are a wonderful Mum, there's no way I'm opening that vacuum for Lego!

willywagtail said...

Lego is far too pricious and expensive to just throw away that way. Little lights and heads and arms and other disassembled pieces were always finding their way into my vacuum cleaner. These days I don't go through the contents but regularily have to empty the head useing long nose pliers to get all the pet hair out of my pet hair friendly electrolux. If only I had bought a different brand! Cherrie

Little Ted Canvas said...

I sucked up a white tail this morning because it was to high up to squash & my vacuum bag is desperately in need of emptying, but now I'm too scared to open it...

teddybearswednesday said...

I do it all the time, like everytime I vacuum.
It really is one of the most revolting tasks. x

katiecrackernuts said...

I am more interested in what the child in this picture is doing? What the? Is she saying, "mum, I just sucked up my bobby pin"? Or is it a robot dance movement? What is that about?
And no, we don't dissect. My policy is if you left it on the floor and I sucked it up, it's GONE. Suck it up - literally.

Rach said...

Yep I do it.

And I think I was standing next to you at the lifts on at the Chase on the weekend - got all shy and didn't want to barge in on your family/weekend/non-blog time. So a belated Hi to you all. x

Georgie Love said...

No, if it is vacummed up, it is dead to me. Currently our vacuum doesn't have a pole, it's like a head to a nozzle, so I have to vacuum on hands and knees. Really up close and personal.

This is both bad and a little degrading, but I don't mind it - it's that usually I am on my hands and knees with a toddler on my hip OR trying to climb on my back shouting "horsey! horsey!" OR turning it on and off and pressing the button that sucks up the power cord.

It's these extra obstacles that makes it a really MUCH HATED activity. But I still do it once or twice a week. THANKS REVOLTING AND MOULTY DOG.

margot said...

I don't do it.
I'm afraid I'll have to in the near future.....one of those things I said "I'd never do".

And the picture is a little scary.

Actually, you are all scaring me a little bit.

Jaclyn said...

hells bells! I'm like a intern on Grey's Anatomy going through my vacuum. fascinating stuff...

Nat Kringoudis Melbourne said...

Vacuum. Look at the word. Stare at it. It is the weirdest word. I don't like it. I don't like how the word looks and I don't like what it means. I don't like vacuuming. Give me ironing any day.

You crack me up!