Is Brazil Better Than The Bush?

I once had a Brazillian wax. It wasn't a high point in my life. In fact I remember lying there, a captive of the beautician, in a very unflattering position. I clearly remember wanting to punch her in the head and run away half waxed. But I stuck it out. Stuck being the operative word. Through her horror stories, her causing me pain, her telling me all about previous clients and their dedication to the Brazillian, I was stranded. Marooned at the hands of a waxer. I lay there and wondered why the heck I had decided that I needed to try this. And immediately I knew I'd never be back - either to her - or to Brazil. I didn't need to stamp my passport. I was happy to stay in the bush.

And then I went through the perfectly maintained landing strip phase. I'd routinely be waxed and maintain, maintain, maintain.

There's no way in the world I'd shave, employ electrolysis, use depilatories or any other hair removal scheme. Waxing it is for me.

But how to decide what's up in the land of bespoke bikini lines? Bikini line trends wax and wane just like fashion - it changes as does our skirt length.

As we have celebrities - and I use the term loosely, such as Britney Spears, Paris Hilton etc baring all to the world, so do the hordes follow. But not me. I stand defiant. I am not going back to the Brazillian. Not ever. It's Wrongtown. Post code unknown. I don't care who is going to Brazil, but I am not. Brazil is good for Havaianas and soccer. But not for bikini lines.

I read a great piece by SMH's Jacqueline Lunn recently about her good friend of many, many years, declaring that unless a woman had a Brazillian, he wasn't interested. She was outraged. So was I. Who the heck does this guy think he is dictating how a lady garden should be maintained? Does he subject himself to the Boyzillian? (Gosh I hope not, that's all sorts of wrong).

But that's not what I'm here to talk about today. Nope. What I want to talk about is whether the bush is better than Brazil. In my belief, yes. Yes it is. I'm not talking a forest. An unruly forest. I'm talking a bush. Not overtly cultivated, but a modicum of trimming required.

Kate Moss is allegedly a fan of the bush. In fact maybe we could rename her Kate Bush.

There's a whole market of lady trimmers out there. A growing market of hairy horticultural tools. What of you? Sitting there, reading this. What are your thoughts? Brazil or the Bush. Cast your vote and be heard.

Disturbing.

Check out Katy Perry's response to the Sesame Street hoo-har on SNL here.