Thursday, 17 May 2012

Guilty. As Charged.

Firstly, I want you to read this. Then come back over here and rejoin me. OK? Yes. Very good. 

With a very heavy heart, I must say, I do do some of those things. 

I hate that I do those things. I am mortified that I do those things. It's terrible I do those things. 

So today I am starting a new life. A fresh new page of my life. And I've sort of sampled this life previously - I've got a taste for it. I've voluntarily left technology turned off. Let my phone run out of batteries. And it feels SO good to not be switched on and available to the world all the time. 

It feels so refreshing to not be a slave to the ping of my phone.
To turn off - and not feel this creeping sense of - sheesh, I can not be in this moment. 
And it's good for my family. 
It's good for my family to have sacred time with me. Sacred family time. 

Do you do that? Or do you suffer FOMO? Because if you suffer FOMO, then just wean yourself off. Because really, all you're missing out on is finding out what someone's having for lunch, what they just bought (yawn), or how fabulous they are. 

And while you're at it, check out this thoughtful post from one of my favourite bloggers, Checks and Spots

image via this Etsy shop - phone is available for sale. And you can totes interact with your kids with this phone.


candice said...

Yes yes yes! I agree whole heartedly. Until I weakened and got a smartphone, I was super good at not letting technology derail my life. Because, when you think about it, all the other things you really and truly have to do as a mum to keep the family well fed and in a modicum of health as well as some of the things that we just like to do for ourselves (exercise, in my case) there really aren't enough hours in the day for all the distractions of the internet. I am horrified to think of all the times in my last few smartphone endowed months that I've pulled out my phone to 'just check' when I really should have been engaged do all sorts of other things. Horrified.

Thank you ever so much for pointing me back to Checks and Spots. I'd forgotten how much I liked it over there. Truly when did we get so obsessed with photographing, sharing and cataloguing everything?

(Oh and to add to this epic - I love that fisher price phone! We still use mine from when I was a small).

Michelle said...

Guilty too your Honour.

I know a woman who DOESN"T HAVE A MOBILE PHONE! She doesn't want one, she says "you can call me at work, you can call me at home, if you can't catch me leave a message on the answering machine (remember those). If I'm not answering the phone it's because I"m busy living" I can't help envy her freedom.

I know I have a problem, but it's so hard to turn off! Maybe there needs to be a help program for iphone addicts...Apple should fund it...

toni said...

I was telling my son about the importance of making eye contact and one day he came up to me and I was on the computer and we had a conversation and I don't think I looked at him once.
It was like a light bulb moment...only the bulb felt like it weighed ten tonne and hit me in heart. I cried that night in bed feeling like the worst mother in the world.
Since that day I have be slowly tuning out of the things I built up around me to stop feeling lonely as a stay at home mum.
I stopped blogging, rarely go onto facebook, blog reading was cut down to my favourite ten. The tv goes on as a treat only. I only use my phone to take photos and post to instagram because it's fast but it's also a photo journal and I like that.
It's hard being a mum sometimes at home. You sometimes feel that the world is moving without you and I used my technology to feel apart of something. But my family is more important that status updates.

Knit Witch said...

Great post. No-one really knows the long term effects of disengaging from the present time and place. Being a parent is tough and sometimes we want to be distracted from it, but, it passes so quickly. As the mother of teenagers who are now completely engrossed in their phones and FB and all technology, I'm on the other side, often feeling like a nasty, annoying interruption and distraction from their lives...!

Mon Alisa Design said...

Great post Lexi! My last blog post revealed a glimpse into my former life before our big move, and how I relied on both facebook and my mobile to feel "connected". I can now look back at that time and see it for what it was. I've learnt so much about myself since then. I don't own a mobile phone and haven't had one for 3 years. I've only recently started a page for my shop on facebook but find it hard to navigate as I don't have a personal profile.
The only gadget I have is this here computer and I'm rarely on it these days. I'm lucky in that we have been able to move to the country and leave everything behind. It was a hard thing to do however I feel the better for it. There's so much for me to absorb, new friendships that are being built and Autumn skies.
Having said all of that, and from the point of view of NOT having these distractions, there are times when I'm not tuned into my girls every request. I think we all are guilty of that ( BTW, I hate that word when it relates to being a mum). In my case it is when I'm trying to do some work, be it a new necklace or painting. I do my best but sometimes I need to tune into other things and it can be hard to switch from being totally engrossed in my work to listening to my 4 year old tell me that she is infact a lost princess who was found at our doorstep and Obi (our dog) is her horse. Don't get me wrong...I ADORE her imagination but a story like that can continue for hours on end. So yes, I do alot of "Uh huh's" and "Really?" while I finish my work.
I know this topic is more about technology. I just thought I'd put another example of parental distraction into the mix :)

ally said...

Excellent read
I try to have mine on silent most of the day...and to leave it at the bottom of the bag. But then I keep taking photos. You know, so I can remember instead of just using my brain!!
I know its stealing time away that I'll regret later

Siobhan said...

[from Checks & Spots] "While we’re busy capturing our lives for the benefit of others, the richness of the moment slips away. As Henry David Thoreau so beautifully wrote,

You must live in the present, launch yourself on every wave, find your eternity in each moment."


Norbyah said...

thanks for sharing this article. i'd heard about it from a friend and been meaning to read it myself. i am ashamed to admit, i'm guilty of this too. i am going to make a vow to be more 'present' for my children and to switch my phone to silent (phone calls only for emergencies). i know i will look back on this time in their lives and want to remember those stories, the things they say.....clearly. without interruption.


Leisa said...

Guilty as charged. Forever grateful that when mine were little, mobile phones were the size of housebricks and only the very rich had them...but I have one now and my young adults and one teen are missing out. Reading this has awakened me to make changes. No more excuses of bringing the iPhone along "just in case" and "to take photos". I think I'll just use the little point and shoot for that. Back to fun and simplicity.

Lady Moss said...

Ouch. That hurt. Forget weaning mines staying on the charger all day from now on.

Luna said...

Lexi, you've made two good references there. Last week, two of my fave blogs were closed for these same reasons. I don't pinterest, twitter or FB (much). I blog when everyone is asleep or Fiance is with our two boys. I do see parents everyday who are chained to their mobiles while the kids are rushed around in strollers. As for 'The Glow'... pfft! If any one day of 2012 is like that I'd close my new blog.

librarygirl said...

I don't have a mobile phone! I love the freedom from them - they are tyrants. I feel really sad when I see young women glued to them when out with their little children.
Really sad, actually.

My kids are teenagers and they have mobiles but use them less than they used to. Facey seems to have lost its lustre for them too ( I'm not on it - like Pinterest and some blogs, though).
Great post ms pottymouthmama


Lady - thanks for da props! You're awfully good to share my post.

And thank you for such a fab post. It's so true...that phone of mine is probably the main barrier to Thoreau's call to live in the moment. If I'm not careful these days will slip by while I toggle between emails/fb/sms on my phone.

Yup...this was just the jolt back to reality that I needed.