Why The Hypoxi Radio Ad is Poxy. In Fact. It Sucks.

There's a radio ad on at the moment for Hypoxi. 

Before we get into the ad, let me talk about Hypoxi. Hypoxi is, in my book, a load of codswallop. It's meant to be a weight loss thing, but looks like an 80s computer that you stick your legs in and apparently - shazam - your cellulite will disappear. See why I think it's a load of bollocks?

I might as well get the Atari 64 out and stick my pins in and see how that goes. Probably just as effective. Call me cynical, but Hypoxi - don't call me maybe.

In my book - if you want to tone up - diet and exercise. Not a poxy Hypoxi machine. 

But anyway, I digress. Back to the radio ad. 

It starts off something like:

"Ladies, what shape is your body?" 

(Pause)

"Ooooh, that's a lot of pears."

And then it goes on to talk about the merits of poxy Hypoxi. And on it goes.

The premise being - pear-shaped women = ouch. Poor you. But we can do something about it. We can fix your pear-shaped body. 

Well I'm here to say - screw you Hypoxi ads and your petri dish for breeding insecurity in women. Women already have enough insecurities without you planting a seed of doubt in our minds. 

I'm a pear shaped woman, and I don't need you to validate - or even erase my shape. For all you know, I might be totally happy being a pear. I love pears. Juicy, tasty fruit that they are. I'm ok with being a pear. 

I really detest this ad. And whenever it comes on, I'm pretty sure my blood pressure goes up. 

Who comes up with these ads that are targeted at making you feel bad about yourself? I for one am not going to align myself with a brand that makes me feel like poo and guilts me into trying their product. I won't buy a thing from them. 

Pear, apple, banana, kiwi fruit, mango - whatever shape you are - don't feel ashamed ladies! 

And this, my friends is why I think the Hypoxi radio ad is totally and utterly poxy. You can have your Hypoxi and jam it. 

Hmm. Thoughts?

I'll be honest. I am not Brad's biggest fan. Not anything to do with Jenny, or Ange. Or Gwyneth. Or anyone in particular. I'm just not a Pitt-fan.

But I am a Coco Chanel fan.

But Brad meets Coco?

I'm not sure I want to buy fragrance from a man with a goatee. Even if it is Brad Pitt. I don't even want it if it's Doug.

Thoughts?

Embarrassing Bodies:: Why? Why? Why?

What happens to people that makes them go on "Embarrassing Bodies"?

I mean, I am all for seeking medical help if you need it, or have any questions, but what makes you go on a global TV show to talk about your body woes?

Talk to me. I really want to know. What makes people do it?

I mean it makes for great viewing for me. But... why?

This is not a sponsored post. I just am curious what brings these people to share this with an audience of millions?

And finally - last but definitely not least - how would you caption this photo?

Guilty. As Charged.

Firstly, I want you to read this. Then come back over here and rejoin me. OK? Yes. Very good. 


With a very heavy heart, I must say, I do do some of those things. 


I hate that I do those things. I am mortified that I do those things. It's terrible I do those things. 


So today I am starting a new life. A fresh new page of my life. And I've sort of sampled this life previously - I've got a taste for it. I've voluntarily left technology turned off. Let my phone run out of batteries. And it feels SO good to not be switched on and available to the world all the time. 


It feels so refreshing to not be a slave to the ping of my phone.
To turn off - and not feel this creeping sense of - sheesh, I can not be in this moment. 
And it's good for my family. 
It's good for my family to have sacred time with me. Sacred family time. 


Do you do that? Or do you suffer FOMO? Because if you suffer FOMO, then just wean yourself off. Because really, all you're missing out on is finding out what someone's having for lunch, what they just bought (yawn), or how fabulous they are. 


And while you're at it, check out this thoughtful post from one of my favourite bloggers, Checks and Spots. 




image via this Etsy shop - phone is available for sale. And you can totes interact with your kids with this phone.

InstaBotox

I've been having a blast on Instagram, whereby I mess with the filters (not fillers) and can produce almost blemish-free, wrinkle-free skin. It's better than Botox. No needles. No toxins. No muscle paralysis. 


Speaking of which...What do you think of Botox? 


I've not had it. Not going to either. 

I like to think of ageing gracefully - of embracing the wrinkles and lines that are medals of life (and I often think - if I was a caveman, I wouldn't even be alive now - high five frown lines!). 


I had some photos taken last week - where my brow is furrowed - and well, it's probably ripe for sowing some plants in there. It's probably not perty, but it's part of me. 


I think overuse of Botox winds up looking a bit.. Odd. A bit... Freaky. It's a slippery slope, and how do you ever get off the merry-go-round of your three monthly Botox top ups? I genuinely want to know. 


A tell-tale sign, I believe, is those cray cray kick up eyebrows - that's a giveaway. 


So go to town friends, if you're pro-Botox, educate me on the joys. If you're sitting on the fence, perhaps I'll come join you. And if you're not keen on the needle in the face, talk to me too. 

The New Look PottyMouthMama

I've had a makeover over on my Facebook page. You should totes come over and check it out - as well as my new ample derriere. And bosom. And nose. And new and improved skinny arm. We can chat. And talk. And stuff.

Of if you're more into short and sharp, come over to Twitter.

PottyMouthMama. Get it while it's hot.

Hands Down

I've been thinking about this for a while now, and I'm not sure what to make of it. I bought some, but I've never used it. I'd much rather wash my hands than put that stuff on, and what ever happened to the immune system doing its thing? I have used hand sanitiser once or twice (in hospitals or at a nursing home) but I always feel like my hands are a bit dirty. A bit.. covered in chemicals. A bit unnatural.

But I'm throwing it open to the floor - what do you think of hand sanitisers? Do you use it?

Rated R

I watched a show the other night. Actually, I will correct that. I happened to catch part of a show the other night about labia-plasty. It was ABC's 'HUNGRY BEAST'.

Anyway, it was all about how the soft porn industry has to regulate the look of the vulva to meet the standards of the classification board. So what if your labia doesn't meet the standards of the board? You get treated to digital labiaplasty.

You may be wondering why I am concerned about the regulation of the soft porn industry, and truth be, I'm not. But I am concerned about the fact that women are being told another body part must conform, or they should think about getting surgery. And from here I am guessing that this is only going to snowball to become a bigger and bigger issue.

You can read the blog post from Hungry Beast here.

You can read an article from SMH about the growth industry that is designer vaginas here.

Images of crass jackets made from blow up dolls by Sander Reijgers.

It's Not Just Different. It's Wrong.

the only caption I can come up with is what her husband is thinking: hubba hubba.

Apparently last night was crickets night of nights at the Alan Border Medal.

The thing is, I don't give a toss what night it is because I just can't get pat this frothy monstrosity of a dress (worn by Hayley Bracken). Clearly she was going by Chanel's mantra of 'before you leave home take one thing off.' Unfortunately I think Hayley has taken off the wrong thing.

Discuss.

On the flip side, Lara Bingle looks like a Goddess. For bonus points discuss this too.

images via