I often have these inner conversations. When I'm hanging out the washing, tidying the kitchen, quietly stirring cake mixture for my children. Solo pursuits when my brain has time to rest and contemplate.
Mainly these conversations (and they are self-conversations, rather than just thoughts) are what I am going to blog about.
I have all these ideas, but by the time I get to sit in front of my computer - they've dissipated. And then I spend the next hour (or two) flirting around the internet, looking for distraction, news, or sometimes the meaning of life.
I haven't hit a regular cadence with blogging over the last year for a number of reasons.
Number one - I've been so busy. And it's not just the 'I'm too busy' palaver, it's genuinely head under water busy. Like I barely see my own family, let alone have time to sit down and bang out a blog post busy.
Number two - I'm still on blogspot. Seriously. I started this blog way back in 2008. When Tiny had just been born. She's just turned eight, and therefore so is PMM, and while Tiny is off mastering all manner of pursuits, PMM is still on blogspot. Should I switch? Should I bother? Or I should I embrace this 'vintage' platform?
Regardless, it's been a stumbling block because while everyone else's blogs are beautiful, flawless representations of themselves, mine is old and creaky.
But on to 2016. I'm not one for resolutions.
Actually, secretly - I do make my own resolutions, I just don't like talking about them. I like to think of them as intentions.
So 2016 for me is intended for self-care. This is the year I look after myself, and hit some kind of stride in terms of exercise, eating well, getting enough sleep and cutting out all the bollocks that's burdened me.
Exercise: there is currently none of this happening, which makes me feel sad (and flabby) so I'm going to be kind to me and start moving more. Even if it's just 20 minutes a day. Something, somehow, every day.
Eating well: I often think if you follow me on Pinterest you would believe that a) I have a really bloody awesome wardrobe; b) my home is impeccable and so Scandi-style it hurts; c) I work out regularly; d) I am eating salads all day every day. It's far from the truth. But instead of being completely unrealistic and being unkind to me, I'm just making a few rules. Non-negotiables. I'm going to start the year right by bringing my lunch to work. No more searching for the perfect lunch each day. No more making do when I can't find my dream salad. Nope. I am going to aim for three lunches brought from home per week. And no more 'I had a shitty day, so I am going to treat myself' because if I keep doing that I'm also going to be treating myself to lap band surgery. And yes to less boozing. It doesn't make me feel great. In fact it makes me feel sluggish, regretful and sad. I don't really need any help on any of those things, so for at least the first month of 2016 - no booze (remember when I did the three month, no alcohol and copped all that abuse, well bring it on haters).
Paying my bills: On time. No explanation required.
Less Tech: Embrace lo-fi. I find myself reaching for my phone first thing every morning, and I'm really starting to resent the control it holds over me. Instead of reaching for technology, I'll be seeking eye contact and creating meaningful relationships - in real life.
So that's my 2016. My good intentions.
What are yours?