You Want Camel Toe? You Get Camel Toe

One of the key searches that bring people to PottyMouthMama is, lo and behold, camel toes. It seems a lot of people are scouring the interwebz for information on camel toes. Camel toes. Camel toes. Camel toes. You just can not get enough of camel toes.


Thankfully gal about town Pip has hooked me up with this beauty.


BEHOLD!


The Smooth Groove. Camel toes begone! Banish your camel toe to the back of your wardrobe er, somewhere else because they have no place with you. No. Not now that we've discovered the 'stylist's secret for a smooth profile'. I know. I know. I know.


You've been looking everywhere for something like this.


Well thank Pip. She found it.

Did you know that 55% of women have experienced camel toe at some point? Did you ever think?
Did you know you can buy a Smooth Groove for just $23.92?! Me neither. And it comes in black, white or clear. How jolly versatile!

It will help you prevent a camel toe in your favourite catsuit. Catsuits for the win! Or alternatively you could buy your clothes a size up. Now there's a novel idea.


But if you're keen to see what Smooth Groove can do for you - check this out hipsters.


Now get on over there and buy yourself a Smooth Groove. Tell them Pip sent you.

But Thanks For Sharing!

Teenagers! Gather 'round! I've got something to share with you.

I don't need to see your butt cheeks hanging out the bottom of denim cut-offs.

I don't!

I have my own ample derriere to swing around in all manner of clothing, though I tend to cover mine up. But just in case I do feel the urge, I can take a look at my derriere in a g-string, or a boy-leg brief, or even - gasp! - newd!

When I see you walking down the road with half your booty hanging out the back, I feel sad! Buy a size up! If you don't it can also result in camel-toe-itis! Just because clothes are a larger size doesn't mean they cost more - treat yourself. You can thank me later!

Call me prudish, call me PottyMouthMama, whatever you want to call me is ok by me, I just don't want to see the junk in yer trunk.

You might think I'm old, and yes, I am a parent, but I'm not old at 31. Trust me, I remember being a teenager - and I had no urge to hang my butt out for the world to share. In fact I was infatuated with over-sized tees bearing Malcolm X, Arrested Development quotes and Keppers to hide my lanky frame. Gulp.

Let Jessica Simpson set the example here. She bought a size up and her cheeks aren't on the menu. BUY A SIZE UP! I don't want to see the boo in your booty.

And the image above? Front bottom? Junk in her kerplunk? Whatever that look is, she's headed straight to Wrongtown.

Oh No! It's A Camel Toe!

Yesterday I was witness to a tragedy.

Yesterday I was scarred for life.

Yesterday I saw a camel toe to rival all camel toes.

Seriously. A HUGE camel toe. Which I couldn't stop looking at and marvelling at how uncomfortable said camel toe must be.

I'm sorry gals, but sometimes it's best to buy a size up. Or rearrange things so that you do not have a camel toe that I need to keep looking at and snickering (but buy a size up - trust me on this!). Even Matt was giggling. A camel toe of epic proportions.

Please ladies, guard against the camel toe. Be prepared. No one wants to see your camel toe. No one. Be vigilant. Be alert. Your camel toe needs you.

image via