Today on PottyMouthMama I have a guest post - which is not something I ordinarily do. But during the four years I have been blogging, I have had the great fortune of meeting some truly inspiring women. Women that I wanted to share with the rest of the world. To shout about from the rooftops.
I've known Nat for over two years. She's the type of woman who very politely takes life by the scruff of its neck - and makes it better. That means it's positive and bright. I can't say enough good things about Nat - she's like a bright nurturing beacon of light.
Nat juggles her incredibly busy work life with life as the mum of two gloriously beautiful babes. The below post has been written by Nat.
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This time last year, I fell pregnant. Something many
women find themselves doing at some point in their life, but equally it's no
mean feat. As a natural fertility specialist, I
know that some women’s journeys to pregnancy can be more difficult than other
women's. Another thing I know is babies. I know how to make them, I
know how to keep them in until they are well baked and then I know how to get
them out when my patients are ready to have their babies. I practice this
everyday in my clinic.
However nine months later, I was in for a shock
when I experienced nothing short of a horrendous 18 hour labour, drug free
(just saying), which ended in an emergency c-section. Again, something I
know many women have been through, but certainly not something I would have
chosen if I had been given an option. This birth didn't go to my plan. I
couldn't control it. This took some coming to terms with. It was a good lesson
for me as a health professional, not one I wanted to have to learn but I took it
on board.
Just as the dust was settling and I was finally
getting my life back into gear post cesarean and I was coming out of the haze
of new mum-hood, I got a phone call that would change our family's
life. My son was diagnosed with Cystic Fibrosis (CF). I can’t
remember much from that day. This was not how I'd envisaged this working
out for us.
As a health educator and blogger, I’m yet to share my
story on the world wide web. Now a few months have passed, I've got more of
our story to tell. Initially I was wary to share. I wanted others to see my son Geordie for who
he is rather than 'Geordie with CF'. You see, we very quickly learnt that
people don’t know anything good in regards to CF. They know that people
with CF suffer, they are sick and in the past they very often died at a young
age. I also wanted the chance to prove to people (and perhaps even to
myself) that that would not be my son's experience. I needed time to show
others (and again, prove to myself) that I could hopefully keep him well.
Not to be delusional about the reality of CF, I realised the challenges
that the future would hold for us, but I would use all my might to scurry
through every crevice of my brain and use all the tools I had. The 11
years I devoted to studying health care was for a cause. It seems, this
is what I had studied for.
I’m no stranger to CF. My best friend of 20 years
has a son with CF. Two best friends, two boys with CF – what are the
chances? This question I have asked myself a thousand times. What are
the chances? With 3000 people living in Australia with CF, how is it that
my high school bestie and I could both find ourselves here? Most
people's reaction is – ‘you’re so lucky you have each other.’ I agree,
whilst I am so lucky to have her - this reality has been the hardest
thing to come to terms with because the biggest risk to a child with CF, is
actually being around another child with CF. It means that our
two sons shouldn’t really play together. How do we do play dates?
How do I cope with limited time together? I’m still learning to come to
terms with it and it’s hard. Really hard. What about our dreams of
taking them on a flight together to Disney land?
The first few weeks left my heart dark and heavy, like
somebody had dropped a blanket over it. Every time I felt like I had
my head around it, I’d be punched in the face again as if somebody was saying
“oh no you don’t – get back to feeling sorry for yourself.” Thing is –
that ain’t me. Soon after, I couldn’t face it any longer. I took
charge and I took it real good. We had to move on and get going with the
job of making sure Geordie is a healthy boy.
See, Geordie picked the right family or should I say,
he was given to us as a gift. Whatever way you look at it, I had lessons
to learn and still do. I learnt I’m a control freak – yup! Who
knew, right? Granted, he has a bloody determined mother with a head
harder than rodeo bull and a really level headed easy-going daddy. He’s
way lucky. He also has a sister with a love for him that is larger than
life itself.
Prior to having children, I would wonder what they
were going to look and be like. Every parent dreams of their ‘perfect’
child, or rather, they want their child to be perfect. When I received
the CF news there was a moment where all of this ‘what about...’ flashed in
front of me like a broken neon sign that is shorting out. I thought to
myself ‘this isn’t what I imagined, somebody let me out of this
silly dream.’ When Geordie was diagnosed, so many messages streamed
through saying “I’m so sorry to hear about Geordie” like he was gone and we
were in mourning – and this broke my heart to say the least. Reality was,
there was nothing to be ‘sorry’ about (and I know these messages were sent with
the best intentions), he was still Geordie and frankly nothing about him had
changed. I took it upon myself to make sure people understood the
positives, that there was hope and that my Geordie had a big, bright
future. I understood that people didn’t quite know what to say to us, and
that sometimes, silence is ok. That’s a big deal coming from this
chatterbox. We didn’t need words, we
just needed to know that we had support – thankfully, we had plenty of
that.
We’ve been lucky. Geordie is going great
guns. He’s gaining weight at a rapid rate, and he is well, and this alone
lifts the weight off my shoulders (not literally!). Research in CF
has come along in leaps and bounds and the future looks so bright for kids with
CF. The big thing with CF is that you don’t know what you’ve been
dealt. Nobody can tell you how ‘well’ or ‘sick’ your child will be, and
there are so many factors that go in the mix – genetics, environment, lifestyle
and luck I’m sure. The things I can’t control – I’m letting go of, but
those that I can I’m going all the way. I’m blessed with knowledge and
I’m blessed with my perfect son. I truly feel lucky.
Someday we will all go to Disney land – it might be on separate
flights, but we will get there and we will have the time of our lives,
together. Geordie has already taught me that life is for the living – we
will be making every day count for the rest of our long, long lives.
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Nat is currently finishing work on her upcoming e-book on priming your body for fertility, with tips and tricks for a wellness overhaul, including over 25 recipes for building a fertile body. I'll keep you posted when it comes out.
image: the beautiful image of Nat with baby Geordie is courtesy of Nat
