Do you ever text while you're driving? Be honest. You can be totes honest here. I've been observing drivers lately, when I'm sitting in traffic - because I live in Sydney and there's plenty of traffic in which to observe. So many people texting or holding their phone while driving. I watched one car in my rear-vision, and could see the woman looking down incessantly to her lap. One guess to what she was doing. I don't think she was sewing a button on her skirt. 23% of Australian drivers talk or text while driving. That's a little scary when I consider how many people are on the road - and how quickly accidents happen. I know driving home from work, I sometimes want to chat with someone, because I'm by myself, it's a good time to talk because there are no little people to interrupt, and no distractions. No distractions? HUH?? That's crazy isn't it. So many distractions on the road. This is not to give you a rap over the knuckles, dear reader, it's to say: I'm not going to answer my phone or text, or even so much as give my phone a glance when I am in the car, sitting in traffic, bored. Instead I will find a good song on the radio and engage in some in-car karaoke.
Are you a jerk at work? Are you a turd burger that doesn't let people merge in traffic? Do you push in in front of people in lines?
If so, I implore you to stop it right now.
No one likes a jerk. No one says, wow, I really look up to that jerk. No. No one. I read an article in Sunday Life a few weeks ago about whether jerks get ahead at work. My outtake from that - no. They get what they want, but they don't garner respect, no one wants to work with an a$$hole. I know I don't, and I have managed to work with quite a few since beginning my working career. And is the stress of being an ass really worth it?
Take letting people in in lines of traffic. I think it's more stressful to be an ass and not let people merge, than it is to spread some cheer and welcome someone into the traffic - because being a car length in front of someone is not doing anyone any good. It's not getting you to your destination that much faster, is it? So wave people ahead. Do it. Think of it as your Christmas gift to the punters.
And pushing in in front of people in lines. So. Not. Cool. I stood patiently in line on Monday, and not one but TWO elderly women edged me out of the way so they could take my turn. Seriously? I wasn't about to push them over, but really ladies? I was waiting there patiently, and I let them go - whatevs, but next time you come out in the Christmas peak of shopping, get in line. Unless of course I usher you in front of me, then by all means.
The crux of my argument - no one likes a jerk, and being a jerk is not fun for anyone, including the jerk. So stop being a jerk.
Work went well today. I was nervous. I almost cried when the Doctor told me, to allay my nerves, that "you will be ok Mummy. I felt nervous on my first day too, and then the next day I made some friends and I felt much better. You will be ok. Kids and grown-ups can feel nervous too!"
Man. I love that little dude.
And while on the drive to work, stuck in traffic, stuck in traffic so bad I read half the paper before I got there, I devised a super-fantastic idea.
Listen up. Listen up real good.
You know those T2 and T3 lanes? The ones that I never know if I can drive in if I have two children in the back? The ones I avoid because I worry the two smalls don't make up two people? Yes. (Well can I??) Those ones? Well I have a really super fantastic plan, and basically, you are going to totally dig it and when we next go to the polls, you can vote for me for PM because this is SOLID GOLD! Bobby Katt will make me Cat in the Hat-a-licious!
What if we made those lanes for parents commuting? They could be PC lanes. Parents Commuting lanes. I know. Controversial. I'll polarise you yet. Because what I am about to say is going to make you smash your fist on your keyboard, throw your laptop out the window and swear at me. But I am PottyMouthMama. Hear me roar. Grrr.
You can only use these lanes if your children are under school-age, or you have a wee little baby who won't stop wah-ing, or if you're in a rush to get to your child ie little Tommy won't eat his devon sandwiches because he has a piece of Lego stuffed up his nose. Or if your teenage child has set fire to the school oval and you have to stop drop and roll to put the damn thing out. He's naughty like that. You can not use this lane if your children are above a certain age.. Let's say 17. We don't want those lanes congested with 70+ year olds taking a leisurely drive two suburbs away to visit John-John Jnr, not when I need to get to work peeps!
Do tell me what you think, because I am expecting MENSA to back me up on this, to send me a little jaunty MENSA crown and to crown me a GENIUS. Or alternatively, I could stick to my day job. Now that I have one.
PS - I think I've linked to this clip before. But I lover it all up. So you'll just have to sit tight and suffer in your jocks.
