Thursday, 18 June 2009

Dad Jokes

the cringiest Dad of all. Danny Tanner. Even remembering his name makes me nauseous.

Almost as soon as the Doctor was born, Matt started cracking Dad jokes. It must be something programmed into the human psyche. I've been counting, and each time he cracks a Dad joke I tally up the score: Dad Joke Number 167.

These are excruciatingly painful jokes. Painful because, they're just plain silly, and painful because you have to force a couple of chuckles to verify that at least you've heard the joke. And that you don't want a repeat. Otherwise your ears may start bleeding.

I can't even remember one single example because I think out of kindness - my brain has deleted them.

However, I don't ever remember my own Dad cracking Dad Jokes. I still don't think he cracks Dad Jokes.

I do however know that my FIL has a whole cache of Dad Jokes. And these are even worse than Matt's Dad Jokes. I don't think I have any bias, I just think my FIL has more of a talent for bad Dad Jokes. That he likes to share over and over and over again. And then once more to make sure you've heard it. Uh huh.

Does your Dad, partner, husband, boyfriend or friend crack corny Dad Jokes? Is there a support group?

17 comments:

Sunshine said...

I've never heard of this affliction. Perhaps there is some form of Dad Jokers Annonymous they could attend...

Melanie said...

Oh yeah. My Dad is excruciating. He even makes funny jokes sound like bad Dad jokes. I'm not sure how he does it. My husband and I use the occasional 'dad joke', but I like to think we do it with irony. (Our kids probably don't get it though!)

jodesmac said...

i think my husband may be on the road to bad dad jokes. he is thoroughly enjoying telling our kids(and their friends) all the schoolyard jokes he remembers. he wants to know at what age he can share "milk, milk, lemonade, round the corner chocolate's made" i have said NEVER!
i'm guessing because he has to stick with clean jokes then the older he gets the more they just become bad dad jokes. right now though his 2-9 yr old audience loves them.

Bec said...

Oh yeah!! My husband cannot drive pass a cemetery without a 'dead centre of town' quip - followed by a pause and then the 'people are dying to get in there you know' follow-up. Scary thing is I remember my own dad cracking these same jokes when I was a kid. Groaaaannnnn.....

Ammie said...

Yes! My husband has been doing this since long before he was a dad. Like you, I block out most of his jokes. The only one I can remember is one that some friends of mine actually thought was funny!???!

"What do you call a borrowed cheese from Utah?"

"Provo-loan."

Yeah, you'd probably have to be from Utah to find that funny, and even then...

When he tells jokes, I try not to acknowledge him.

JW said...

My husband makes really bad Dad jokes - and we don't even have kids! I worry that they'll get much worse once we do have kids!

Cath from chunkychooky said...

what is that about????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!what happens when you have a baby that makes them do this!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!???!!! Chef does it too now! its painful!!! My dads classic which I didn't remeber until Chef said it is driving past a cemetry- "must be the dead centre of town" harharhah...Gawd help me the pain!!!

Cath from chunkychooky said...

sorry didn't relaise someone else already gave that painful example!...

Mama Mogantosh said...

Hi Lexi - I gave you a bloggy award - play along if you feel the urge.

xxRach

peppermintpatcher said...

My husband is not a big dad joke man, nor was my father. My son is already a HUGE teen joke man (ie stuff about farts and private parts) so I can easily imagine him morphing into a dad joke teller when the time is appropriate. Perhaps, as a community service, I should beat it out of him now. His future partner may thank me for it down the track.

trashalou said...

I shall be showing this post to CK.
he thinks I made up the concept of Dad jokes.

Cindy said...

Glen is not a suffer of this affliction thank goodness. My dad on the other hand - eek. He so loved the one where he would turn me upside down and sweep the floor with my hair - oh so funny

Mel said...

Yep my Dad was and still is a champion of the Dad joke and unfortunately it is me who seems to have caught the affliction since having children instead of my husband.

My favourite: *drumroll*

"what? you're going swimming? But it's raining - you'll get wet"

Followed by the chorus of "Daaaaaaadddddd!"

cristy said...

I knew that my partner was ready to breed when he started cracking Dad jokes, so I kind of enjoyed them (in a sick way) for a while.

They are old now.

Gab* said...

My dad and FIL both crack dad jokes, they find themselves hilarious. Hubby has also recently started suffering from this infliction... We don't have kids though!

Loz and Dinny said...

I'm with you ... soon as Edie peered out into the world Dunc loosened his tongue to accomodate a flurry of Dad jokes ... not even that original ones even - tried and true. I'm with you - it's neurological

Michelle said...

yep, my husband started cracking Dad jokes as soon as Elsa was born. It's awful. You're very nice to laugh at Matt's, I just cringe when I hear them....I wish there was a support group. Thank you for sharing this, I thought I was alone....