I've got a terrible track record. I always say yes to people when I'd really like to say no.
I do things I don't really want to do while other people get to do the good stuff.
I say yes to having dinner with people - on their side of the bridge - when we both know it's their turn to come my side.
And if someone has an opinion different to mine, I usually clam up until the conversation has floated safely past me. Or if we continue talking, I get all flustered - including nervous rash - and mess up what I want to say.
The fantasy me:
- says no when she wants to
- doesn't do the crap while everyone else has fun
- makes people cross the bridge (because I'm worth it!)
- speaks up for her opinions - and doesn't get flustered
What's the fantasy you going to do? Are we going to do it girls? YES! We're going to kick some butt.
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16 comments:
it seems we have the same fantasies...
I will also add - more day time for long periods of enjoyable craft!
I'm good at saying no these days. I learnt the hard way from years of pent up frustrations. Here's a little tip I got from a friend many moons ago (um, she used to say it to me). It works a treat.
Smile and say 'That sounds great! I'll let you know'.
Oh my god, we are in sinc ( again). it's almost like you read my mind with this post coz once again I can't say no and now I'm doing something I really really don't want to do. And every time I say I will learn but do you think I do.
We can dream we can dream. xo
PS thanks xo
te-he-he-he I am sure I have no idea what you're talking about! I never agree to do something I don't want to do. (HA!)You need a stand by excuse. My stand by excuse evolves with the situation, but it invariably involves dinner with a friend I have in reality not seen in 5+ years :)
Sounds like a great set of fantasy ideals, esp the 'just say no' one. I have been trying to really strike the balance of late with a newborn i.e. saying no to people wanting to pop over/catch up vs creating routine for bub/extra sleep for mama. a tough one but i am getting there and feel a lot better for it. Sounds like you are on your way...
I'm right there with you. Its taken me a long time to realise that the guilt of saying no passes more quickly than the work from saying yes!
Fhe fantasy me definitely speaks up if she disagrees with something and never blushes when doing so.
oh the nervous rash. It lets me down all the time. I'd just like to know all the facts and figures on all sorts of social justice issues for when I am having a fiery conversation with someone. Instead I feel like I end up getting too angry with the other person's ignorance (hmmm and mine), and then I wind up looking like a dumb blonde, hysterical female!
But just getting rid of the nervous rash would be great ;)
The fantasy me has amazing ninja skills to whip out on baddies... *sigh*
*s*
umm...sometimes.... if I feel really strongly about something I have been known to simply say 'NO. I dont want to'. It works!
aaand if someones not being nice, my favourite thing is to say 'youre not nice'. Both of these are stolen/borrowed from my children, :)
oh - seems like we have a bit in common! I just want to say "I am crap, really crap and would you like to help make my life better or make it worse?" to people when they ask me how I am at the moment -rather than 'oh yeah, fine, could have a bit more sleep perhaps..."
Aah, that or just wring they crinkly ding dong necks! Great post!
The only way the nervous rash will go away is if you speak up and eventually you wont feel so nervous about it - sorry that isn't an easy solution is it?
I have just said no - because it is ok and the people don't mind as much as you think.
It is like when annoying people ask you to spend all Sunday at the market when you are sick hey!
I hear you! I hear you!
I SO wish I was better at being assertive and saying no to things too.
I'm going to try out what mama bear has suggested in your comments - sounds like a good idea.
I wish I were less shy. I'm okay at work and sort-of okay in social events where I know some but not all of the people. But I am terrible when it comes to Mum things and when I go to a class or any other event where I know no-one. I just come off as rude and stand-off-ish. Which I'm not. I assure you. I hate it. It sucks.
Love this. Hope you're letting the fantasy you out in the real world every now and then.
The 'side of the bridge' thing does me in every time. Apparently, they NEVER need to come north. I think we have cooties :-)
Good luck with the move!
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