Oscars 2013:: The Tuxedos

Let's get the men over and done with - because, it's totes my least favourite part of the show. I mean it's a black suit. Blah blah blah. Here are three of the best. Fast forward the rest. 

Oh Jason Schwartzman. If only you were two feet taller. You look so dashing, even the moustache is working for you. I know right! And the side-part, phwoar. You look sharp.

Edit:: He's 1.68m.

Eddie Redmayne shows them how it's done.Except for the velvet slippers. No. No. No. Too casual. Too contrived. Should have gone for patent leather with shoelaces. 

Edit:: He's 1.8m.

Oh my lucky stars - now Eddie - take note of Joseph Gordon-Levitt's shoes. And to see him singing AND dancing today. Sigh. I'm just going to have to google how tall you to see if you can be my celebrity crush. 

Edit:: He's 1.78m, for the record.

Ew. Heat.

It's freaking hot, just in case you have been living in the Esky over the past day or so. 

What do you do to keep cool? 

Me? Ergh - spray myself with the hose. Fact.
Eat too many icy poles. Fact. 
Sit under the air-conditioning. Fact.
Take a cold shower. Fact.
Complain a lot. Fact.
Drink rose. Fact.
Sit on the beach wearing a vintage bikini looking hot. Myth.

Anything else I should be doing? 

On a more serious note, I hope dear reader that you are safe wherever you are. 

Hello, My Name Is Lexi. I Am Your Cruise Ship Director

OH EM GEE! Did you say that? Did you really say that!? You really, really said that?!!!

Ryan can't believe it.

But let's take a moment to enjoy Ryan being dismayed at what you just said.

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And now let's take a moment to look at Ryan's chest peeking through there.

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Ahhhh. That's better.

Have you had a good week? Ryan wants to know, and therefore, you should totally respond, because it's not just me sitting here in this lonely ghost-town of a blog. It's Ryan too. Ryan totes wants to know. Ryan wants you to comment or there will be no more Ryan Gosling gifs for you.

Oh, you want a funny?

Well, how's this?

Ahh that's better. How do you like me now?

This Is Not A Celebrity Blog

But I just had to share this shot of Beyonce. Her first outing since having Blue.

AYE CARUMBA!

Now that is one hot dang mama.

Swoon...

If you're:
a) a Ryan Gosling fan
and
b) an interiors fan

just like me. Then you're going to be loving this.

Apartment Therapy's homage to everybody's favourite hottie, Ryan Gosling - Outfit to Home. Swoon..

Say you're inspired. Say whatever you want. Just be sure to bookmark it.

This one's for you MM.

I Do Declare!

So apparently those big blue eyes of Pete Evan's don't woo you ladies. I'm declaring our man of the match Manu. He snaffled a huge 70 per cent of votes. Let's take a look at the score board at full time shall we?

• Pete Evans came in at 18 per cent (I don't understand you ladies!)
• A side order of fries came last, with only 11 per cent. Chicken salt, sauce or gravy?
  
  And because I am such a good sport, and there's nothing than a bit of eye candy, here's a gratuitous shot. With leather necklace. Just for you. No. Not you, YOU!

images via smh.com.au

CrackerJACKS!

Who turned up the heat? Who? Sheesh! It is hawt. Ridiculously so.

Sweltering Sydney. Rainy one day, stinking hot the next.

There you go Clover, there's our new marketing campaign. I am so hawt I am sweating up a storm, and it's not even a glow, it's more a wilted flower sweaty betty-ness.

This afternoon the smalls are in the bath. Fighting over soap. Who woulda thunk it? We don't have soap in the bath often. Might sound weird, but with eczema in the family we tend to use QV Oil or Alpha Keri. So they're fighting over a beautiful block of handmade soap. It smells so good I will not disturb them!

Tonight we're heading out to Joe Frost's Drawing & Painting show at Watters Gallery. Joe is a swell guy, so if you get a chance to check out his show, do. If you come along, say hello. I'll be the one doing circus tricks with two sweaty but sweet smelling smalls.

Too Hot To Move

My oh my, while our UK and US friends are freezing their little hineys off, we're sweltering the Summer away. Some may have been whining about the strange change in weather, the grey, drizzle and cabin fever (not me! no! no!), so Summer has returned to us with a vengeance. Go outside and sizzle. I feel so hot we could eat tripe for dinner. Mine. Cooked in body. Delicious.

So I am safe in my house, which feels as though it's pretty well a hothouse anyway. I could be breeding some beautiful butterflies in here.

But all I really wanted to say is: Teddy Bear's Wednesday is holding a giveaway. She's drawing the lucky winner tonight. Get yourself over there quick smart to have a chance to win one of her beautifully clever and whimsical creations. That Jess is a smart cookie.

Things Not To Do On Super Hot Days

Ok ladies, here is the list of things not to do when combatting super hot days:

1. Baking - I don't need to tell you, surely, that baking on super hot days could be deemed a health hazard. If you even go close to that oven dial, you should hear in the back of your head me, in a very bad mock NYC accent saying, "Waddareyoucrazy?"
2. Bikini waxing - It's a no-no on steamy days. The wax doesn't stick properly, and everything's all sort of steamy, and let's reiterate that the wax doesn't stick properly and you're in for some uber ouchies if you decide to wax on a hot day. Don't say I didn't warn you.
3. Turn the heater on.
4. Sit in the sun, unless of course you're catching melanomas. And that ain't cool.
5. Wool. No. No. No. You're not a sheep and you're not following the flock. Leave the wool for Winter.
6. Polyester. Unless you want to work yourself into some sort of sauna-frenzy, and leave sweat marks on furniture it's another no.
7. Bikram yoga on hot days. Well you might as well do yoga outdoors. It's the same temperature.

Things to do on hot, disgusting days when the air is breathless?

Make doilies into icebergs, build farms and then get Baby Boomsticks aka Tiny to come and knock everything over at every whim.

Fascinated? We're Whipping It!

Happy Melbourne Cup punters!

I used to ring my grandmother and put on my very best Shane Dye impersonation. She loved it. Because I am exceptionally talented at doing impersonations (and would like to give Michael Winslow a run for his money). Ok. Just Shane Dye, that's the extent of my impersonations. It's not like if MENSA had a division for voice impersonations I would be in. It's just that my Shane Dye is insurpassable.

So while we're sans fascinator, we are whipping it, but without the crop. We're going old schoolie whipping. It's 38 degrees. Eek. Hawt.

If you ever meet me in person, ask me to do Shane Dye. Then give me a bottle of champagne. Then ask me again.

Bathing Al Fresco For Babies Al Dente

My sister gave me this great idea to give the smalls their evening bath outside. This is day two and it's wonderful. Fantastic. Fun. Super cool. Great great great.

We went to Bunnings to make a grand purchase. 'The biggest bucket in the world' for the Doctor to relax in. Well we got a tub - kind of like a kiddie jacuzzi and he digs it. He carried it around the entire time we were there.

Tiny gets the baby bath which she sits in and then sneakily tries to stand in until Matt firmly tells her to sit down. We don't be needing grass stains on her small face now do we?

It's still stinking hot here. 41 stinking degrees today to be precise. I had a great idea to build a snowdome over the top of Sydney. Well I think it's great anyway. I can't stand this darn heat. It stinks.

I can't even bear to cook at the moment, so I'm skiving off with anything I can think of. Tonight BBQ chicken and a salad I whipped up (now that takes talent folks). I am running out of cold meals that the smalls can eat as well. I may have to *gasp* actually cook something this weekend.

And on another front, and purely for posterity I must record here one of my very favourite quotes from the Doctor from this week when I reached over the car seat to get him something:

"You're a good reacher Mum! You have very bendy arms."

Ah yes. I am Gumby hear me roar. Yeah you heard me right, I roar baby. But only on the hottest of days.

Ideas For Super Hot Weather

Here are some ideas for hot weather, most specifically, when the air-conditioner is gone, and you're too scared of funnel webs to go swimming:

- go shopping in a big shopping centre (you don't have to buy anything, just enjoy that chilled air that they're pumping out)

- hit the library. It's free. The above is testament to what happens when we hit the library. We have a 20 book limit per library card. Lucky I forgot the Doctor's card so we couldn't go gung-ho to 40.

- ice cubes are good. Yes. And the little ones love ice cubes, watching them, crunching on them. They're great in the bath too. If you put some water in a container and put some of the kids animals in them in the water, then freeze them, then by their evening bath, they have icebergs to watch melt and the animals are freed! Trust me. It's genius.

- keep the curtains closed and watch some great movies. For now, I have to be content watching Thomas the Tank Engine *yawn*

- strictly no baking - no matter how badly you're hankering for those choc chip cookies - no baking!

- book a date with your lover and go to the movies. darkness, great movie, even greater company - can't fault it. Perhaps a choc top too?

- which brings me to my next point: eat some ice cream.

- if all else fails, eat some more ice cream, it's my current modus operandi - and it's working (on expanding my waist line I suspect).

What are your tactics for beating the big heat?