I'm Embarrassed To Say

I went out on Thursday night. To a Christmas party. 

I went out on Thursday night at 7:30pm. And left the party at 10:15pm.

Why?

Because I was seriously sozzled. I don't know what happened, one minute I was drinking champagne and dancing merrily on the dance floor (that I carved out). The next I was in a cab, and not in a happy state. 

Seriously. Bad. Business. Lexi. 

So bad I kept apologising to the cab driver the whole ride home. Poor cabbie.

I texted Matt somewhere between the party and home - saying 'Cyril me.'

Shortly after I sent him another - this time to try and avoid autocorrect, oh and I did, but it said 'Helpb'. 

I am an idiot. 

Seriously. I cringe every time I see anything to do with this party. What kind of fool am I?

One that keeps getting their glass topped up, who comes home and sits in the shower and insists I am sleeping in the shower for the night. Yup. Ouch.

The next morning I was sick as a dog. Even sicker than a dog. (Why are dog's sick anyway??). Every time I got vertical  -- --- -- I vomited. 

Matt texted me during the day asking me how I was and I told him I wanted to die. The pain was excruciating - and I had one person to blame. ME. 

I couldn't even hold down a drink of water. 

This is not like me. Sure I like the occasional drink, but to go out and get completely hammered and ugly. Oh aye aye aye!! Not me. 

I am not exaggerating when I say - it took me three days to get over this hangover. Three freaking days of feeling like rat poo, of feeling bad for Matt and the kids, and feeling pretty annoyed at myself. 

Friends told me I was chugging down the cocktails like there was no tomorrow. No wonder when I checked out IG a couple of days later I felt nauseous at the mere glimpse of a cocktail in a photo. 

So I've signed up to Hello Sunday Morning for three months. No alcohol for three months. 

I almost heard an audible gasp from my friends on Instagram saying that I chose a bad time to do it. Well in my book - I chose a really, really good time to do it. I don't need alcohol, and it's not like I said - hey guys, I am quitting oxygen for three months. Nope. 

I'm going to give it my best shot, and report in every now and then to tell you how it's going. We're in the thick of Christmas parties, but you know, all the health benefits are pretty appealing - and on average a HSMer loses 6kgs! And saves loads of cash. 

Just consider me your designated driver. And the next morning, I'll be the one sans hangover. 

Before the downfall 

Birthday Grand Central

This is a big and beautiful week in our household. In fact, it's a big and busy month! 


On Thursday it's Matt's birthday.
Three days later it's the Doctor's birthday (of course LEGO is top of his wish list). 
Then seven days after that it's my Dad's birthday.
Then four days later it's my sister's birthday.


Full steam ahead.


Tiny is home sick today. Sick. Yes. I use that phrase loosely. She was sent a gift from Moose - Stick-A-Lulus. She's just been sticking Stik-A-Lulu stickers all over the house. All. Over. The. House. They are now approximately everywhere. 


Tiny loves her some mischief. 


The Doctor will be chuffed. He had a hissy fit yesterday - because everyone got something except him (Matt got a lightbulb, I got a pair of socks, and Tiny got some shoes because she only had sandals). He got some Trash Packs. There'll be great joy today after so much stinking six year old emo going on yesterday. 

A Tiny Party

Yesterday we belatedly celebrated Tiny's birthday with a tiny party. A tiny Tiny party. Or is it a Tiny tiny party? Who knows. Either way, it was a party. For Tiny.

My sister kindly made the cutest teacups a la Tic Tocs - which were a huge hit with the tiny brigade, my mother-in-law made the most melt-in-your-mouth meringues, topped with fresh raspberries, and the birthday cake? Well I'll post a pic as soon as I have one. Promise.

I wound up finding pudding basins on Saturday morning, got them home, washed them - to discover they were microwave proof, but not oven-proof. Excuse me but WTF?! So it was back to the Dolly Varden drawing board.

I promise I will not talk Dolly Varden again after this post. I am probably making Dolly Vardens trend over on Twitter because I am banging on about them so much.

I had a hoot making this cake. The DV tin did not yield a long enough frock, so I baked an additional round cake and added a longer hem (ahem) on the bottom. Who do I think I am? Suzie Seamstress? Yes. Apparently. I then cut it down to fit with the frock, stuck them together with buttercream, and then got to decorating.

Tiny walked in halfway through and told me it looked ugly.

YES! High fives all 'round.

Then she came back later and was stoked. Phew.

She had such a brilliant time at her little party, played parcel the parcel, pin the tail on the donkey, musical snatues (sic), and decorated cupcakes. Too cute.

At bed time she said: "Mama, that was the best party ever." And then didn't go to sleep for another 2 hours.

Summer Divine

We're celebrating Tiny's birthday late this weekend, with a wee tiny party.

The problem I face is that we've gone from a Dolly Varden birthday cake - and all the anxiety I drummed up in my head about that, to finally coming to a place of calm, and thinking, YES I can do it. To right here, right this minute, Tiny wants the Magic Toadstool cake (as shown below). I only have one pudding basin, and despite having called a heck of a lotta kitchenware stores this afternoon, can not locate the right sized basins.

I broke the news to Tiny that it was Dolly Varden all the way, and her little face looked so disappointed.

If I do not make the Magic Toadstool cake, and instead make the Dolly Varden cake, does that make me a candidate for The Worst Mother In The World Award?

And in the event that I do happen to stumble upon the correct sized pudding basins, where am I going to find those pint-sized fairies?

Help a white girl out!

As an aside, see my smalls post-swim? They just adore being wrapped up tight and being called hot dogs. They are two crazy little cats.

And on the flip-side, if I do do the Dolly Varden thing - what doll do I use?

Office Politics

I found this somewhere, can't remember where, because my friends I have CHRISTMAS FOG BRAIN.

But I had to share it with you. Your office Christmas party may well be a distant and fuzzy memory, but just in case, here it is, your guide for your work party.

Tiny In Jeans

Be amazed peeps, be surprised! BEHOLD! Tiny in a pair of jeans. Can you imagine my girl in denim? Nup. Me neither. But here she is. I bribed her with 50 cents to put them on. Bribery. Corruption. Denim delights!

Tiny turns four in a few weeks and I must get organised before everyone gets caught up in Christmas shenanigans and we miss the birthday boat. Peep peep!

Months ago we perused ye olde favourite Australian Women's Weekly cake cookbook (who doesn't remember good times daydreaming about these cakes?), and Tiny requested the Dolly cake. Let's see how that goes.

This party is going to be so fun! Pink-a-licious and fairies. I am excited peeps!

This week for me is all about organisation. I'm getting organised for the birthday party, and getting in early on my Christmas shopping so I can say boo yar to the heaving Christmas crowds. Have you started prepping for Christmas yet?

Post-Party Malaise

You know that anti-climax after all the anticipation. Sunday afternoon and BOOM! I was lying horizontal on the couch, feeling a bit blue that it was all over. Relieved, but a bit sad that it was done and dusted.

The only thing to bolster everyone's spirits is the amount of party food still kicking around here. I may have to secretly dispose of it.

Here are some snaps from the day.

Matt drew the donkey for 'Pin the tail on the donkey'.

The Doctor either feeling sick. Or peeved after 'Pass the Parcel'. Can't figure out which. But cute nonetheless.

My bro-in-law with my cute-to-boot niece walking back to Party Central.

My sister has more shots including 'The Cake'. Will share once I have them in my hot little hands.

This Is Like My Pinboard: A Party

My little man is turning six next month. Six. Wow. That is crazy talk.

And yet, we've promised a small birthday party to celebrate this 'six' thing. I mean, come on now, who said he could turn six so soon?

We've talked about party games (to which he replied: "Nope, no games!" and the kid in me responded: "What?! No games? What kind of a party is that?").

We've compromised on:

- Musical chairs

- Freeze

- Pin the tail on the donkey

But there's to be no pass the parcel. I tried renaming it to: Pass the gift. Nope. Pass the multi-layered present. Nope. I'll keep working on that one.

Maybe I can wrangle a pinata?

We've talked about looking at the good old Australian Women's Weekly cake cookbook together to decide on a cake. That's a date!

I've been checking out the Queen of inspiration, Martha Stewart's website. I'm sure I'll attain entertaining prowess by osmosis.

Anyone got any birthday party suggestions? I'm thinking we have it at a park - or is that ker-azy?

Images via Martha herself.

Happy New Year!

Tonight I'm planning on sitting on the couch watching a movie, reading a magazine, washing my hair, heading to bed early, enjoy some beauty sleep, waking up headache free, and yawning in 2011.

I am like the Ebenezer of NYE.

It's seven years since I met Matt tonight, with a bad fake French accent, making him cocktails - four fingers of vodka: one finger of juice. Then he refused to drink it.

Are you rocking out tonight peeps?

image - I can't remember, I'm sorry. If it's yours, tell me.

Yo Ho Ho!

We sailed on the great big sea (of road) today, down south to celebrate my nephew's birthday, pirate style.

Why are pirates called pirates? Because they ARRRRGH!

It was such a beautiful day in every sense. We each had a wonderful time and wouldn't have missed it for all the gold on the bottom of the sea. Happy 5th Birthday O! We love you!

Green

I met this green-eyed guy once. He was ridiculously cute. Beautiful actually, cute doesn't do him justice.

We were at the same party for NYE. I'd just rolled up and decided I was going to pretend I was French for the night. I don't know where this harebrained idea came from (it could have been the alcohol - nooo, say it ain't so), but I know very little French.

I met this green-eyed beauty, went and made him a punch (three parts vodka to one part punch) which he refused to drink. I kept telling him to drink it. He wouldn't take it. I introduced him to a group of people (who incidentally - he already knew and I didn't) as my husband - and then I forgot his name three or four times.

We chatted and chatted. I finally lost my silly French scheme and merged into myself. We relocated inside from the balcony, looked at the fish, kept chatting and then I whispered in his ear, 'I'd like to kiss you' to which he replied 'Well why didn't you?'. And then he kissed me.

I like green-eyed boys who become my husband.

Go Green friends!

Birthday Celebrations

It's my birthday tomorrow. Hip. Hip. We had a wee afternoon tea at Sparkle Cupcakery yesterday with some friends (more on SC later).

Here's Matt. He is just learning to smile. Here's me. Chin-chin!

Here's a half eaten cupcake.

A Problem As Old As Time Itself

Would you believe, my camera batteries ran out in the middle of the party? Hmph. Big, fat, HMPH! It is dear friends, a problem older than time itself. No wonder there's no photos of dinosaurs, they always were running out of batteries themselves.

However, I have managed to snaffle just four frames from my camera before it decided it was outtie.

My Mum and Dad came as King of the Jungle (a funny little lion) and Queen of the Hive (a fab bumblebee). So cute. And it was a surprise, not even the bigs knew about it, so big and small were all surprised when they buzzed and roared in. This is what memories are made of. My Mum and Dad are super good!

The Doctor had an ace time. I searched high and low for a tiger costume for him, to no avail. We then downgraded to looking for a tiger, but only came up with adult versions (hello, hole in the market??), so I made him his very own tiger tail. Photo will come later as no photos available. Double hmph.

I think we're all still recovering from the party. I certainly am. But it was a wonderful, fun and memorable weekend for all the right reasons. And the smalls had super fun.

Oh and here's the cake we finally settled on. A dinosaur attacking a train. Super.

Blogger - please stop flipping my photos around. Tres annoying.

Stamina

What happened to me? Once upon a time I used to go dancing on tables, night after night. Eat pizza lying on the couch with my best friend. Drink a cup of conversation for lunch. And be ready to do it all over again. Week after week after week. I like to think I was party personified.

But please note, all of the above is written in past tense.

I have to tell you - I am completely knackered. My back aches. My head is tired. I just want to curl up in bed. Is this normal after two birthdays in three days? Or am I just going soft? I'm not even thirty yet.

We spent yesterday morning at the aquarium, and then raced home so I could bake.

And bake I did. Oh and I haven't even told you about how I picked up a baking dish that had been in the oven for 20 minutes at 230 degrees. With. My. Bare. Hands. I didn't mean to bake my own damn hands. That's for shiz. Needless to say, I am sporting some very, very achey breaky sore hands today.

Please get out the world's smallest violin and play a little solo for me.

The worst thing is, I still am not even remotely organised for the par-tay on Saturday. I've barely done a scratch. Someone, send me Martha Stewart. Someone, send me my old stamina.

I've vaguely worked out the menu (thankfully the party is in the afternoon so I have a little more time up my sleeve).

In fact, gulp, I am madly looking for a tiger costume for the Doctor to wear, because his party theme is party animals. Talk about lastminute.com. Straitjacket? Sedatives? Gurney? All sounds good right about now.

Nevertheless, cake was consumed last night, and the Doctor decorated his own. A highlight of the day to be sure, to be sure.

PS - How cool is she? Going to any Sydney Writer's Festival events? Do tell!

The Big Question: Cake O'Clock

The Doctor's birthday is in just two sleeps. Two sleeps 'til I am the mama of a four year old. Sheesh.

The big question is, what cake does he want? I have to make two. One for his actual birthday. Another for the birthday party. He's already told me he wants lotsa lotsa cakes.

I'm consulting everyone's favourite just to be safe. But there's still loads to choose from.

I've been looking on Flickr for inspiration. The problem is, there's too much inspiration.

And party bags? Party games? Talk about party pressure. Experienced mamas - and any inspired creatures, gimme some tips, gimme some inspiration. Gimme me, gimme me, gimme.

In other breaking news, Tiny has been punking me up a storm of late (Ashton watch out). She's teething with the best of them - I think there's four teeth coming through at once including two eye teeth - yowsers). So she's been super grumpy - and for good reason. Here's one glimmer of the usual Tiny. One of my friends gave her the greatest little red coat. Tiny is obsessed with it and seeks it out at every opportunity. She finds it, tries to put it on, can't, cries out, and I pop it on and she's happy. She found its little red hood today - and wanted that on. That made for one happy Tiny. ('scuse the wee mess in the background - didn't see that did you, you were blinded by Tiny's cheeky smile).

Of Pixies and Pirates

We went to a Fairy and Pirate party today. So sweet. So, so sweet. I did my usual lastminute.com thing and went into a frenzy to make Tiny her own little Pixie headband. Excuse me while I still marvel that I made something (besides the wee babe of course).

The Doctor was ridiculously excited - woke at around 6:00am asking if he could get dressed yet. Sadly we had to let him know the party wasn't 'til 2pm (a whole lifetime away for him) and if he could hold out (it was a hot day) that would be better. Boy oh boy, we arrived at our friends home, and off the Doctor went. He's never been there, but he couldn't contain the excitement. He was into it baby!

So we walked through the house to go into the backyard and.. well you know that scene in Bridget Jones where she turns up to the party as the Playboy bunny (let's relive that painful scene together shall we?) and no one else is dressed up.

Yup. Yup that was me. Don't worry - the smalls were all dressed up, even if just partially adhering to the dress code. But me. Yes well, let's just say that I thought it would be fun to go as a sea dog too. Clearly no other adult had been feeling it that morning. Still aching inside that I was the only one singing sea shanties in my head. Ahem.

I baked too. Small fairy cakes. Some people might say I like a little party. If you knew me well, you'd know that I love a party. Big or small. Fancy dress or.. AHEM!

The Aftermath

The handkerchief has been gifted. The wedding is over. I was the last bridesmaid standing. All the others flew the coup. How did it happen? Perhaps my dancing scared them off. I am known to break out a bit of line-dancing and slap leather. Yeeeeehaaaw!

In any event it was a wonderful day. The ceremony so moving. I never cry at weddings, but several times had to fend off the tears. Never fear, I didn't let a tear roll - I didn't want to ruin my make-up.

And now here's the aftermath. The anti-climax if you will.

Though for me it's all about letting the good times roll.

My sister and her family have just moved back to Sydney. How totally and utterly exciting for us. This can only mean good things for me. Let the good times roll sister! Those who thrift together, stay together. Or haggle between one another for the best of the best at the markets, the op shops, oh such fun.

And me. Well I'm enjoying a little downtime. I didn't get a chance to get started on the next handkerchief, so thought I might do something today, as well as juggle some work and of course - be a mama. Then I'll post it over to my friend for when she arrives back in London...

For now, I'm still madly de-cluttering, filling my house with pink carnations (what in tarnation, it's a carnation!), setting up the raddest track alive courtesy of this very generous lady, and trying to move as little as possible because it's so impossibly hot-hot-hot.

PS - The winner of my giveaway is Taccolina. Hit me with your address and I'll promptly clutter your house for you!

Hot Heels - Santa Baby

I have my work Christmas party tonight. We have to wear hot heels. I'm having trouble deciding. I never get to wear heels. These are my usual shoes du jour (see that seamless transition into French).

So tonight, which little beauties shall I wear?

I'm going backwards, choosing shoes before the outfit, because sometimes, a gal's gotta have hot heels - they're the foundation to a hot new look.

If I wear my wedding shoes (first from top - thanks for Blogger for rotating yet another of my photos), I'll be able to strike one thing off my list.

These are the type of huuuuuge quandaries plaguing PottyMouthMama today. My first night back out since having Tiny almost twelve months ago. Yeeeeehaaaaa.

Tonight I just might be canoodling Santa under the Christmas tree. You just never know your luck.

Happy. Yes. Yes I Am.

Whoa Nelly. What a busy, happy weekend. It's almost a case of thank goodness it's almost over so I can get back to routine. What what what? I hear you squark. While I don't dig Mondays, this weekend has left me pooped!

Matt's studying for an exam. I managed to take the two smalls out of the house for the two days and as a result. Pooped is what I am!

Saturday was a 1st birthday party and a garage sale. I offered to make some mini-cupcakes (for the party, not the sale). I made 50 of the little beauties, beautifully iced (butter icing mmm mmm). Unfortunately an incident whereby juggling two small children, a bag, two containers of cakes and the bonnet of our car resulted in half the cakes being tossed upside down. Yes. My handiwork in tatters, I fronted up to the party with a very messy arrangement of cakes. Thankfully they still tasted good, even if they did look like they'd already met a taste test from a tribe of three year olds. Hmph.

When we got home we bribed one of the dogs to play in our circus. He jumped through a hoop in return for a handful of kibbles. We treat our circus animals very well.

Sunday we headed off to meet a good friend in Bondi. We flew a kite for a while, hit the beach for a wee while, had a gelato (our first for the season), went to the skate park, then meandered through the shops. Such a great, tiring day. Headed home to get Tiny down for a sleep, and I headed off to a flea market, and then to Spotlight.

cute little Christmas box I scored at the flea market

Ahhh Spotlight. I chose a new pattern for my sewing class, only to be told they didn't have it. Back to the drawing board, I chose another. Ah they don't have that one either. So third time lucky I picked a pattern, asked someone to show me some fabric only to be told she didn't know anything about fabric. Bingo! How is it that she works in a fabric store and has no knowledge of fabrics? Even I know what double georgette is, I just didn't know where to look. Finally someone came to my rescue and escorted me to the double georgette, which to my disgust was all 100% polyester. Watch out open flames - poof! I'm up in smoke. I wasn't planning on moving to Sweat City for the Summer. Finally after circling the fabrics I found some cottons that I liked. For a moment I did think I was leaving empty handed. I scored some discontinued fabrics and a few others. Watch out sewing class, tonight I'm sewing to glow, I'm going to rock the frock, I won't dread the thread, I'm going to put my pedal to the metal and sew like crazy.
Happy much?

102nd Post... Balloons! Streamers! Party Hats!

I've just realised I've passed my 100th post. Oops. In the interests of trying to loosely stick with tradition, here's my 102nd post celebration!

Break out the glow sticks. Turn up the music, bring out the cupcakes, we're going to party like it's 1999.

So to celebrate pottymouthmama's coming of age - here's a competition.

If you leave a comment here between now and Sunday including the word 'banana' (just because), I'll pop your name into the draw and announce the winner on Monday!

I'm not sure what that prize will be, but once I have gathered up some goodies, I'll let you know.. I'm thinking it might include a cute little vintage bag though, and some other bits and pieces.

Come on - don't be shy!

And to celebrate, here's my very favourite cupcake recipe from Nigella Lawson. Bang all the ingredients in the food processor, and minutes later - et voila - perfect every time!